soul_campaign | [april 28th // video]

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[april 28th // video]

[kaworu seems happy today -- more so than normal, and a great distance from his melancholy the last time he'd posted to the network.]

What sort of sweets does everyone here like? Or types of cookies? I have a friend who is teaching me how to cook, but I do not have much experience with what others enjoy most...

[he mostly wants yako and mello's answers, but being that specific would ruin the surprise so it's simpler to leave things vague for now.]

[filtered to takuto]

You can come over whenever you want now, if you would still like.

[filtered to shinji]

[his tone and expression soften and he gives the little mirror a gentle smile, somehow different from the sort he shows everyone else. as much as he loved all his friends here, he hadn't really considered the difference until he could once more see shinji.]

Are you ready?

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Not right now either way. He is...nervous around others, and Takuto is already coming over. I do not want to overwhelm him.

...oh. Okay then.

I just happened to talk to Takuto first. That is all.

[and he'd wanted to wait until he had a thank you present for you anyway. for the whole taking care of him while he was sick thing.]

Kaworu, you don't need to justify yourself. It's not like I expect to be your number one priority.

I just...do not want you to think that Takuto is.

I already know he isn't. Neither of us are.

[that's right, because shinji is. but he has at least enough tact not to say that.]

Will you come next time? I think he will be most comfortable meeting others one at a time -- even the network seems to frighten him.

...if you're sure that's what you want.

Of course I am sure.

Then I will.

I am sure you will like him. He is sweet. Delicate.

[even more so because of meeting him, but shhh.]

Does that mean you broke him?

{Her eyes widen in horror, because she hadn't meant to say that out loud at all.}

[he winces, but somehow keeps his smile from slipping entirely, though it tightens a bit around the edges.]

He was like that when I met him. Our world was not kind to him.

In my experience it rarely is.

{Which might have to do with the curse of being a main character.

That aside, Yako tries to keep her voice neutral and even.}

...delicacy is something you can only appreciate from the outside in, Kaworu. To treasure it is...well, it's cruel and unfair.

[his expression is politely blank at that, and he tilts his head a little, curious.]

...You are all delicate. So easily hurt and broken. It is what makes man so easy to sympathize with, and so admirable. Continuing on despite the pain that is living shows a will that exists nowhere else.

Shinji is more fragile than most, but he is strong because of it. He could shatter so easily, but he has not given up on living. It is why I love him.

Everybody has their limit, but it's only the minority who actually end their life when they hit it.

Maybe that's the difference between angels and demons. Neuro shoved me to the breaking point dozens, maybe hundreds of times...and cast me away when I finally broke, until I built myself back up.

...it's funny. Until moments like this, I sometimes forget that a large part of who you are isn't human.

...Are you comparing me to a demon?

[he isn't sure how to feel about that, especially from her. is that an insult, or disappointment, or just a simple statement of fact?]

I'm comparing you to the only other nonhuman being I can say with certainty, that I know. To the person who managed to make himself the most important, precious partner I will or could ever have. To a monster, and a sadist, who guarded humanity with his life.

...I do not enjoy the pain of others.

Nobody's happy being fragile and put through Hell, Kaworu. You may not enjoy it, but you admire the side effects and by-products.

I admire the strength it takes to move on. Fragility is only a sign of it.

Fragility is also the sign of a person on the brink of a breakdown and waiting for the right trigger.

{And no amount of self-control could keep the self-loathing out of that statement.}

Would you prefer pity over admiration and sympathy?

I'm not the one who you should talk to this about. In my own case...well, I'm not exactly my own biggest fan, anyway.

I know what he needs, and it is not pity.

[april 28th // video]

private video;

private video;

private video;

private video;

private video;

private video;

private video;

private video;

private video;

private video;

private video;

private video; I'm sorry

private video; ouch

private video; she's speaking from experience, I'm sorry. Painful, scarring experience.

private video; there's a reason he likes her so much

private video; that's either sweet or horrible

private video; a little bit of both. he just has a weird thing for broken people.

private video; well, just one more slightly unhealthy relationship for Yako <3

private video; i swear she just collects them

private video; for real

private video;

private video;

private video;

private video;

private video;

private video;

private video;

private video;