01 [video] February 13, Afternoon - Welcome to Yorozuya May Host Club

[16hitmagnum]

[ The night is young and the we’re in love... Or not.

Are you in love yet, Death City? No? Well, you’re in luck. Because tonight, the greatest hosts in
the world, Gin and Gura (not to be mistaken for Gintoki and Kagura from Yorozuya May Cry), are here to treat you lovely angels to a pre-Valentines chance for love and romance.

This is not a scheme to get chocolates for Valentines day. Just as this is not the Yorozuya May Cry office, badly decorated with paper hearts, lace, red plastic over all the lightbulbs, and feathers from a molting duck. That’s feathers from a fallen angel, you dumbass! Where’s your sense of romance?

Ehem... take it away, lead character. ]

What is love? [Baby don't hurt me. You might recognise that voice as belonging to Gintoki, but tonight, it is softer, strangely melodic. It is Gin. He holds a rose - plastic - to his chest as if it is something precious.] We, as hosts, have pondered this since the beginning of time. Though it is without physical form, it is sweet, and it is forgiving, providing men, women and children all over the world with joy. [Kind of the same way chocolates do. Gin then twirls, holding the rose up above his head. If this were a shoujo series, there'd be sparkles and real roses in the background.]

And tonight, as a special service to you, Death City, we, Gin and Gura, shall showcase these wonders to you personally. Even if it costs us our lives. [And suddenly, he tosses that rose over to...]

[ KaGura catches that rose as she spins on her toes. She tosses her long, bishounen hair to the side and lets out a loud--] Fuu! [She raises the rose in the air.] Our time together might be short, might be fleeting, my princess, but that’s the way beautiful things are. What’s important is that we keep the memory of our meeting in our hearts. And yet-- [dramatic turning of the head to the side! It’s that 3/4ths profile that makes all hosts look good!]

-- the beauty of that moment still can’t compare to yours. [She hands that rose to you, person who’s watching this through the communicator which means that you can’t touch this obviously plastic rose.]

Should you, the lovely queens that you are, choose to grace us with your presence tonight, you need only to bring yourselves and a tribute of chocolate, so that once this night comes to a close, and you are to disappear from our sights forever, we may gaze upon your neatly wrapped sweets and remember the way your hair would smell, your fond embrace and your kindness. [And then he joins Gura in pointing at the communicator.] Just do it!

Visit us tonight as Yorozuya May Host Club! Fuu!

[ Blue font is Gintoki. Red font is KaGura..

Are you ready for love? THE LOG IS RIGHT HERE. Again, this is not a scam for Valentines Day chocolate. ]

Comments

[Video]

[proudambassador]

And where are the ones who are doing the opposite thing for males, hm? There should be some sort of balance, no?

[Video]

[16hitmagnum]

Whether you're male or female doesn't matter. As long as you have choco-- no-- everyone deserves to be treated like a princess, my princess.

[video]

[megitsune]

If that isn't the most shameless attempt at getting free food, I don't know what is.

[video]

[16hitmagnum]

I apologize for my shamelessness, my fair lady. I was so enamored by your elegant presence, I almost could not contain myself. Even if it cost me my life.

[video]

[moralizes]

...What are you doing.

[video]

[16hitmagnum]

Spreading love and romance for Valentines Day.

[In the background for now]

[wignamed]

[When Katsura finally emerges from the room in the office, he looks all fit to be going out as a proper Japanese lady- except maybe for the part where he isn't a lady, he has no idea why Gintoki and Kagura are that desperate for chocolate or why is he even doing this.

Except for the part where they're using Elizabeth's feathers as hostage, maybe.]

I still don't see why can't you just buy the chocolate once Valentine's Day is over. Besides that, the last sentence about neatly wrapped sweets just sounds suspicious, not that everything else here isn't.

[16hitmagnum]

[ Oh hey. Katsura as a woman. Nothing new here.

Transferring some grape juice from a plastic bottle onto an empty champagne bottle, Kagura doesn't even blink. ]

Why not do both?

video

[tabasco]

[well isn't this surprising--it makes her break into a fit of giggles when she sees their performance. but it seems she's found someone she recognises! despite being unfamiliar with the ... boy in red.]

My, would it be a tribute of chocolate for each of you?

video

[16hitmagnum]

The thought of having to share you[r chocolates] pains me so. Ah, but it's wrong for us hosts to be so selfish, isn't it?

[gentlemanly bow] But if it makes you laugh so beautifully, then it's alright with me.

video

[sadoslash]

Don't fall for it, aneue. It's one of those pyramid schemes. You'll have to recruit more and more chocolate and only those two will profit in the end!

video;

[thewarisover]

A tribute of chocolate, huh?

video;

[16hitmagnum]

Yes, my princess. Fuu!

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

I like tributes of chocolate, don't get me wrong... but I've never given them to someone else...

[video]

[sadoslash]

.....really. You just expect girls to fall for that?

[video]

[16hitmagnum]

The first person to fall for it was a guy.

[ video ]

[blue_wayfinder]

[...

Finally a sigh.]

Gintoki, if you wanted chocolates that badly all you had to do was ask.

[ audio ]

[16hitmagnum]

Gintoki doesn't want chocolates. Gintoki hates chocolates.

Kagura wants chocolates.

[Video]

[hoennmaihime]

[Haruka sighs.]

That was beautiful! So romantic! I hope you both have wonderful Valentines Days'!

[seafares]

...are you guys courtesans?