[his words are weak and he knows the defense is shaky, but he doesn't know what to do with this. how to make yako stop hurting, or how to step back from this intense guilt that he shouldn't even have to feel.
these are human emotions and he's always just been playing at experiencing them, always just enjoyed the best of them and ignored the worst because he's supposed to be above all that, only spoken of the beauty of their sadness without having to feel it so deeply. he should be able to just...distance himself from this as well, with the quiet reminder from his self as tabris that he had never needed any of this before and it did not have to cling to him now, not like how humans could never escape their despair.
but it clings anyway, all the guilt and shame and horror at upsetting her this much and causing shinji so much pain.]
private video;
[his words are weak and he knows the defense is shaky, but he doesn't know what to do with this. how to make yako stop hurting, or how to step back from this intense guilt that he shouldn't even have to feel.
these are human emotions and he's always just been playing at experiencing them, always just enjoyed the best of them and ignored the worst because he's supposed to be above all that, only spoken of the beauty of their sadness without having to feel it so deeply. he should be able to just...distance himself from this as well, with the quiet reminder from his self as tabris that he had never needed any of this before and it did not have to cling to him now, not like how humans could never escape their despair.
but it clings anyway, all the guilt and shame and horror at upsetting her this much and causing shinji so much pain.]