[For a moment, he avoids Sugata's gaze. But as much as he wants to avoid the subject, there probably is no better time than now to bring it up. It's already close enough to the surface of his consciousness to keep him from sleeping properly, and he won't want to bring it up later when he's successfully buried it again. So he drags in a slow breath as he meets Sugata's amber eyes and exhales shakily.]

It was bad. [There's an anxious note to his whispered words.] I... I wanted to die after that. They took parts of me away and the leftovers weren't right. I... I did awful things. I'm not... I'm n-not....

[He shakes his head, falling silent because he's feeling too choked up to really continue. He's not actually the Takuto that Sugata remembers. Perhaps he never was.]