January 24th; Video; several hours after rose's video

[cursemarked]

[She doesn't know what to say, exactly, when the feed comes on, but her cheeks are tear-stained and her eyes are red, and crushed in her hands is an omamori she'd give to Yosuke before--

She takes in a shuddery breath and when she speaks her voice is shaky, fragile]

...I need to see some of you. You should know who you are.

[A pause and then, voice breaking] Please.

Comments

[wildest]

Not saying you can't try but at this point I think I'm pretty good at winning 'em. Unless you're my daughter, she gets me every time. [That would normally get a loud laugh and a few sappy words of how Kaede will always have him wrapped around her finger, but somehow he gets the feeling that he should tone down the energy for once and so all he gives her is an assuring smile.]

Anything cold is kinda out of the question so hot tea it is.

[He takes a few steps forward, taking his hat off and about to shrug off his coat when he hears the thank you. He doesn't respond, at least not exactly. All he does is keep smiling. He doesn't know what's wrong and he's not sure about whether he should ask or not but this was obviously something she needed, that she most likely wouldn't ask for on a normal occasion. He's just glad she said yes. Sometimes accepting help like this is harder than it seems.]

Just let me know which way the kitchen is and I promise I won't break anything this time.

[cursemarked]

[Rei shakes her head, laughing a little despite herself.] Over here. Help yourself to anything that could help you.

[She leads him over and takes a seat at the island to watch him] If you break anything you have to pay for it. More our of your salary. [Even though he didn't actually work for her. She really was going to have to think up something nice to reward him for doing all this for her. First helping with the gallery during the earthquake, and now this...

She was raking up a debt already. Still, Rei leans against her arms on the table, tilting her head. A daughter? Her thumb finds the paler patch of skin where her engagement ring had once sat]

You have a daughter? Are you married, if I can ask...?

1/2 weeps

[wildest]

[Kotetsu pulls out one of the chairs in order to set his stuff on the seat, making his way to the main part of the kitchen and making sure to keep his hands and feet to himself as well as possible. Right as he's about to look around to get a better feel of where everything is though he overhears her and that smile immediately turns into a confused frown.]

Th-that again? I thought that was just a joke--! I mean.... well it... makes sense, since back home I... h-hold on a second, I never even agreed to that before. And I said I'd be careful!

...if it happens a second time, I'll think about it. I guess it's just fair. As long as you actually leave me with something to keep. Living in a tiny apartment with another person ain't easy. [He lets out a very over-exaggerated huff, setting his left hand on the counter right as he's about to turn to the cabinets.]

[wildest]

[And he doesn't move. Doesn't face her. He's not tense, and his voice is actually a little light when he answers after a few seconds but it makes it sound like he's saying a simple fact. Nothing that needs to be thought over. Only spoken words, a necessary reaction as his left hand clenches into a loose fist so he can feel the slight shift of the wedding band on his finger.]

I am, but my wife is deceased.

[cursemarked]

[There was nothing to be said against his little tirade, she simply smiling faintly and ignored it--he'd get a reward for his hard work; she'd make sure of it.

He gaze goes to his wedding band and the smile falls. There's no 'I'm sorry' for his wife dying; no amount of apologies could bring her back, after all. She bows her head, eyes closed briefly]

Forgive me; I shouldn't have asked so casually.

[Her thumb rubs again and she shakes her head] My... [A pause and she swallows because it still felt like just yesterday. Yosuke's death hadn't helped that any; the wounds were raw again]

My fiance died too. [It had never hurt quite this badly before; not in a while, at least.] Less than a year ago.

[And the time felt both too long and too short. Had it really not been a year? The pain felt like it had been lingering forever]

[wildest]

[This time it takes him a while longer to reply back, not for his own sake really but hers mostly. There's a long heavy sigh as he finally turns around, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the counter.

He's never been in this sort of spot with another person, this exact shared emotion. It honestly makes him just the slightest bit uncomfortable but for once, he doesn't push it away or ignore it like he normally does when he feels that clench in his heart at the thought of Tomoe. Instead he looks at Rei, lets her know she has his attention. Whatever she wants to share or not, he's fine with it and he'll listen, say or do whatever he can because he understands more than anyone else could.]

Don't worry about it. You couldn't know any other way. Me neither. Its been seven years for me so, I can talk about it. It's just... hard.

[Even with the patience he's giving he still has that impulse to do something else, and so Kotetsu brings up a hand to rub at his neck.] I've always been a little bad at those kinds of things, depressing stuff and all that. Thoughts. Gets me to places I don't really like.

[cursemarked]

[She gives a short laugh, bitter and self-mocking] Welcome to my life.

[She gives the amulet a light toss, letting it fall to the table as she presses her face in her hands, taking in deep breaths to get herself under control. It wasn't said dramatically, or at least wasn't meant to be; it was simple fact.

Her life had, literally, been a continuous nightmare from the time her fiance died up to when she ended up in Death City. Friends, family; dropping like flies around her. Her own death almost completely assured the moment she went back.

She takes a deep, shuddery breath.] ...It was my fault. I don't think I can ever forgive myself.

And I'm tired... of people I love dying...! [Teeth grit and she shakes her head as if to try and apologize, her body trembling. She hadn't wanted to lose it again--especially not in front of him, hadn't he just said he didn't like depressing things? Doing all of this then was rather selfish wasn't it?]

[wildest]

[His hand drops away at the movement from the corner of his eye and when he turns again to face her his expression is pure emotion, sympathy and frustration and pain and everything she must be feeling right now that he wishes she wouldn't because he knows no matter how angry you are, how heartbroken and lost you feel, how desperate you are to feel better nothing changes. He's gone, she's gone. Nothing changes that. It's how things will always be.

Kotetsu takes a few steps closer, picking up the omamori and setting it down in front of Rei. He sets his arms on the counter and again just watches her for a while, keeping his voice quiet, comforting yet with a slight firmness.]

Don't blame yourself. Even if I don't know anything about it... don't. It's not what you need. Not what he'd want.

You can do anything you can, more than you ever expected from yourself but a person is still a person. You're not invincible, neither are they. You can't protect them from everything. [Not even as a hero with the strength of a hundred. That doesn't get you anywhere with an incurable illness. Standing there with all this power and yet you can't do a single thing for the person who provided that much strength to you in the first place.] And that's not your fault. It's not ever your fault.

[cursemarked]

I'm-- sorry. [It's a little muffled and she laughs, but there's no humor in it. She's feels like an idiot and slowly her hands fall away with a sniff and fingers curl around the omamori again.

There's still a part of her that wants to lash out; that she should be able to protect them, that she should have done more, somehow, some way. But she knows, too, that he's right, as difficult as it was to swallow. Yuu's death was her fault, at least partly, and no amount of pretty words would change that.

She takes a deep breath and wipes at her face (she didn't cry again, not really, though a few tears managed to fall loose), looking to him silently for a long moment. The 'thank you' is on the tip of her tongue, but that doesn't even being to encompass her gratitude. He didn't have to do this, after all. Any of this.]

My debt to you keeps growing. [It's said lightly and Rei smiles a little] I don't know how I'm going to repay it at this rate.

sob sorry this is so late. things happened etc etc /oozes

[wildest]

[He wonders if he should go bring over some tissues, or a towel. Something, because she looks so sad and miserable and obviously trying so hard to not break down. As strong as she's trying to be he's not sure how much of this might be just for show. It's bound to be, just a little. He knows. He knows so well because it never doesn't hurt. When he looks at Rei all he sees is himself on bad days, days that are few and far between now but he's sure they won't ever go away. One year or seven, there's no difference in how much he misses Tomoe, but he knows better than to let feelings and memories keep him down forever. It's just how you try to move on. That's what counts. It gets better, slowly but surely.

When she finally looks up he feels a little relief in the air, not much but still enough to know that he's managed to help. They're only going uphill from here. No more depressing talk. That doesn't get them anywhere. Kotetsu smiles right back as he pushes away from the table to give more room.]

You can start by smiling a little more and having tea with me. Might try adding a little more to the debt but for now we'll keep it small.