soul_campaign | 002 | Video | March 22

[ No one ever taught Aomine how to take care of himself – or their lessons never stuck, whatever – so among other great lifestyle choices, he's survived on fast food and other junk ever since he showed up in Death City a few weeks back. Sure, he sometimes shows up at morning training to mooch free breakfast, but that's only if he manages to crawl out of bed on time...which almost never happens.

It's more common for Aomine to play basketball all day, grab a burger or something, then crash on his bed for a long afternoon nap. Which is what he did today. In fact he woke up just seconds ago, rolled over and snatched the Communicator up off the floor. His stomach's rumbling and he has an important question to ask the network.

He gives the camera a vacant stare. Then he yawns. Then he stares again. It's pretty obvious he's forgotten what he was going to say. Actually he doesn't look like he's even realised he's awake. It takes a couple seconds for his brain to catch up to reality.

Basketball superstar extraordinaire right here. ]

'm hungry. Who wants to come make me some dinner, or somethin'? Not right away but pretty soon...

[ He trails off into another yawn. It occurs to him that such an offer might not be tempting. ]

Or at least tell me how to make somethin' decent. Livin' offa junk food is startin' to lose it's charm.

[ He rubs the sleep from his eyes before cutting the video feed. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Be fair. No one should leave Aomine alone without worrying. He'll hurt himself. ]

Good! Because that would be really frickin' gross.

[He'll just bring him a band-aid if that happens.]

Why did you suggest it at all then, de arimasu? Do you want them or not, de arimasu?

Haa? You're the one who brought up weird space dumplings, froggy.

[ The best at friends. ]

You're the one who did that, de arimasu. I just said they were dumplings. If you don't want them I'll just eat them as a pre-dinner snack, de arimasu.

[And who are you calling froggy, you freakishly tall Pekoponian.]

I only did that 'cause I thought you frog aliens might eat that kinda crap. Like, what kinda alien eats dumplings? And don't eat 'em if you've already called them leftovers. You'll get fat.

Lots of aliens eat dumplings, de arimasu. It would be weirder if you found an alien that doesn't, de arimasu. It's like finding an alien that's never heard of curry.

...And I wouldn't have to eat it if you'd just take them.

Fine, fine! I'll take 'e--

[ Wait! ]

You've even heard of curry?

....I've eaten curry, de arimasu.

[ Space frogs just get weirder and weirder. It's amazing. ]

...in space? What did it taste like?

Like curry, de arimasu.

Like normal curry? Pffft, boring!

[Normal except for the fact that it's the best curry Aomine will have tasted. And part of the process involves bathing in it.]

Just because we're aliens doesn't mean we eat weird things, de arimasu.

[ That is probably less gross when you're a frog. Frogs are almost ingredients, after all. ]

Lotsa people eat weird things, so why shouldn't aliens?

[Nope, it's still pretty gross when you're a ~~frog~~ alien.]

That may be true, but we don't, de arimasu.

[The vicious Space Okonomiyaki FX that has to be killed before it can be eaten isn't considered weird. Neither is the rocket-sized yam that can shrug off beam attacks using a light-shield.]

[ Way to mislead the dumb kid, Keroro. He meant weird food like flies and fish eggs and junk, for the record. Those examples are...out of this world. ]

Jeez. You're pretty boring for an alien, y'know that?

[ He gives a heavy sigh. The movies always made first contact seem like such an adventure. ]

[No one eats junk unless they're actually some kind of space monster in the form of a tiny sheep-creature, Aomine.]

Well excuse me for being boring, de arimasu. Maybe I'll just keep the dumplings too while I'm at it, de arimasu.

[It would have been more of an adventure if Keroro hadn't already met humans before. And if he still had all his alien gadgets.]

Hey, don't do anythin' drastic. Those dumplings are mine! I just meant you're borin' 'cause your just like a normal person.

[ ... ]

Well. A little green frog person, but still.

That's because I am a normal person, de arimasu. It's just that I come from a different species and a different planet, that's all.

So where do you want the dumplings, de arimasu??

[ A person is a person. You're a frog is what he is about to say. But the growl of his stomach makes him think twice. A wise man once said he who wants free dumplings ought not to insult space frogs. ]

I'm in room 8H. How long'll you take to get here?

[ But apparently being hungry is not enough motivation to leave the house to pick up free food. ]

[He's not a frog, he's an alien. And aliens are people even when they look like frogs. Or muscled men with a head that looks like a baby seal.]

Not too long. I'm coming from work, so it's pretty close, de arimasu.

002 | Video | March 22 | Afternoon

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