8 April | Video

[zealous_steiner]

[It appears Okabe has his eye jammed up against the mirror, as that's the only thing visible at the beginning of the video. Slowly he backs away, revealing a tired face, then bedraggled hair, then a hint of a lab coat.]

Hello, despaired networkers! I am the mad scientist Hououin Kyouma! Consider this video my debut, where all of Death City will soon know my name!

[He throws his head back and evil-laughs for a solid twenty seconds. This is a common problem, please stand by until he starts coughing.]

Now, to more pressing matters, as Screwhead Biologist was of no help. [Okabe certainly wasn't helping himself, but he chooses to omit that. He's distrustful of Shibusen as-is - they feel like SERN.]

I am interested in this device you call "BREW." Does anyone of this world know how it functions? Does Shibusen hold a monopoly on its powers? I'm... curious on its ability to manipulate time and space through multiple universes, and to take physical matter with it! Even the most advanced technology - my own, of course [he flips the lab coat for flourish] - of my time could send but small pieces of data without the target matter becoming jellified and... disgusting... How did Mayuri even eat that banana?

For that matter, does anyone of this world know of the space-time warp I, and assumably all you others, have traveled through? I'm curious on, specifically.... the structure of time in this world, and if I can reasonably apply the yarn-theory from my home world-line here.

Finally... [Okabe clears his throat and puts all his charm on.] Does anyone have any old or unused electronics they would kindly donate to the developing Future Gadget Laboratory? If anyone would like to build Future Gadgets with a genius mad scientist, I'd be glad to show you my plans... in private, of course.

Remember, you never know who's watching you.

[He jams his eye up to the mirror again.]

El. Psy. Congroooooo.

Comments

[zealous_steiner]

You see, though, the Future Gadget Lab has a long and varied history, thus including that there have been lab members before you. I would not be so callous as to give someone else's number to you! I have morals, you know!

And I believe I already told you it's not a matter of ranking, but of chronology!

[computations]

If it is a matter of chronology, then my research has been going on longer than yours. That makes you the honorary lab member.

[zealous_steiner]

Aha! So it is a matter of wanting to be a true lab-mem, then!

Well, if you wish.... [He feigns being irritated, but it shows he's not.] I will crown you -- Future Gadget Lab Member #009!

[computations]

Unacceptable! You are Lab Member Number 002!

[Akiha gets 001 spot.....even if she doesn't care.]

[zealous_steiner]

Very well, then; of our joint effort I will take the spot of Lab Member #002. In the Future Gadget Lab, however, I will always be Lab Member #001! This lab is my blood and soul!

[He grins teasingly.]

So I suppose that makes you, in the joint effort, Lab Member #001 - or is it Lab Member #000, Calculus Tsundere?

[computations]

We will both be #002. #001 will be the person who will make sure we are funded properly.

[RIGHT AKIHA?

And Sion is ignoring that Calculus Tsundere comment.....]

[zealous_steiner]

I suppose you have a point. While I could handle going into mild debt on my own world-line, my main source of fruity test subjects isn't here now, and I need to take that into account...

Very well, then! Allow me to meet this benefactor! I will also try to find employment, of course; I'd never neglect paying my share. [What a liar.]

[computations]

[Twisting the camera to Akiha over here.]

This is Akiha Tohno. She runs a successful business in America while living in Japan. Therefore, her skills are exactly what is required in terms of money making and management.

[ritsu_kouyou]

[The feed shows her in process of painting her nails. She pauses and looks up at Sion.]

Is that all I am to you - the money? [Sion would know she's teasing from the exasperated sigh that accompanied it, but anyone else would think she was being serious.]

and once again Okabe is outnumbered by girls.

[zealous_steiner]

[Oh, geez, it's the black-haired girl. She scares the hell out of him, like she'd bust his balls at the slightest move.]

[Okay, Kyouma, you've seen scarier chicks. Calm down. He manages to calm himself after a short pause and put his charm on for the camera.]

Excellent, excellent. It's an honor to meet you, Lab Member #001! I am none other than Hououin Kyouma!

[He chooses to ignore the money comment. Not like he hasn't practically scalped his lab-mems before; see: Mayuri.]

poor poor Okabe

[ritsu_kouyou]

[Akiha glares.]

Tohno. Address me as Tohno, not as Lab Member #001 or any other absurd thing.

[zealous_steiner]

[Okabe heaves an exaggerated sigh, because he doesn't have a nickname for this one yet.]

Tohno, then. I see you're not one to indulge my protocol, but I trust you'll take good care of us.

[ritsu_kouyou]

I don't care about your protocol.

[zealous_steiner]

I, er.

Noticed.

[For the money, for the money...]

[ritsu_kouyou]

Good.

Now, in order for me to raise the proper funds for a lab, you and Sion will need to provide me with practical applications of science the layman cannot accomplish on their own. Preferably something that would be of interest to the citizens of this town or even Shinigami himself.

I cannot simply summon money out of thin air. [Her credit card doesn't work here. :( ]

[zealous_steiner]

[Charm time.]

Well, I can't speak for Sion's interests, but I am interested in how to utilize the... well, I suppose it's magic?... of this world in my Future Gadgets. With more knowledge on the way spacetime works on this world-line, I could close a bit of the gap in our knowledge about this BREW machine - sounds like a damn coffeemaker - and I'm sure we're all interested in knowing what got us here.

Also... browsing the network a little further, I'm hearing things about "Madness." Do you know what Madness is, exactly? If it's in my scope of knowledge, I could certainly try to rig up something.

[ritsu_kouyou]

[Okabe's Charm is ineffective.]

I don't care about your Future Gadgets. I said, give me something practical I can sell to our target customer base - the citizens and other residents of this city.

Now. If you and Sion could develop personal protection devices to shield against the Madness Wavelength, that is something I can market and after this latest attack from the witches, something people will buy.

Sion can give you plenty of information on the Madness Wavelength. You could also go look it up in a book at the library.

[zealous_steiner]

[Goddammit. And he knows it, too.]

[Wait, wavelength?!]

Wavelength?!

I wonder if I could -- this requires me to do a bit of research. Let me try to find the library and I'll get back to you.

[He's off like a flash. It might be best to talk to him later.]

[ritsu_kouyou]

[THANK GOODNESS.

...Akiha goes back to painting her nails.]