[april 19th, voice]

[snowman]

[S.O.S.]

[under the blaring sound of the alert siren, rosalia's voice comes through a bit frantically, followed by one much less familiar to the network.]

N-No! No emergency! Jack's new! I'm really sorry about this!

Oh. Whoops.

Comments

[snowman]

...Like, "lives under a bridge and eats goats" troll?

[silicomb]

Dude. Gross. No. Not that kind of troll.

[snowman]

Then what kind?

audio to video;

[silicomb]

This kind, frost-for-pans.

[ cue video function. this thing is useful, sometimes. sometimes. ]

[snowman]

[...]

You look like a baby Boogeyman with candy corn horns and 3D glasses.

[silicomb]

A baby what?

[snowman]

The Boogeyman. Pitch Black? Y'know, lurks under beds and scares little kids and gives you nightmares.

[silicomb]

You have some weird wigglerhood heroes, man. Never heard of him.

[snowman]

He's not a hero.

[silicomb]

'Course he isn't, dumbflake, heroes don't exist.

[snowman]

And what's your definition of a hero?

[silicomb]

What part of 'they don't exist' don't you seem to get?

[snowman]

What doesn't exist? I want you to tell me what you think a hero is.

[silicomb]

There's no such thing as a 'hero'.

[snowman]

And now you're just starting to sound like a broken record.

[silicomb]

Because you keep on asking questions that lead to the same fucking answer. Wow, what a revelation!

[snowman]

You're not even answering the question! I don't care whether you think they exist, I'm asking what you think a hero would be if they did.

1/2

[silicomb]

Has anyone ever told you how thick-headed you are? [ like he's one to talk, really. ]

Fuck-- fine!

[silicomb]

A hero's some schlub who's supposed to save the fucking night or some shit and save you from your own stupid fate or troubles with double pistols and a wink or something really cheesy like that.

[snowman]

...You watch way too much TV.

[silicomb]

I watch just enough, thank you very fucking much.

[snowman]

What happened to the whole classic hero ideal? Y'know, protecting people just because you have the power to do it and it's the right thing to do?

[silicomb]

[ that earns Jack a grating little laugh. ]

People don't do that. Where the hell have you been the past few centuries? Dude, nobody cares about other people. Not enough to want to help.

[snowman]

[wow, you're cynical. he sounds sad just answering that.]

We do. We protect the children of the world -- that's our job.

[silicomb]

[ cynical, bitter, made up entirely of vitrol and a lot of alien problems. welcome to Alternian Trolls. ]

Your own world, maybe. You fucked up right otherwise everywhere else.