March 12th: SWM Seeking SWF [Text]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Good evening, Death City. I trust you've been well.

I am a Single White Male seeking a Sexy Weapon Female, in case the abbreviations weren't clear. I'm a Meister, obviously, and apparently my ability is Soul Dazzle.

What else could it have been, right?

Contact me if you'd like to knock resonances... or anything else.

Comments

[Video] tall muscled brunette

[ih8spiders]

[... Now he's really confused.]

I don't... have one. [He shakes his head, as if to clear his confusion. It might be obvious that this is the first time someone's asked him such a question.] Or rather, I've never had the occasion to consider it.

[Video]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

You can tell me if you're gay, bro. That's not a problem.

[Video]

[ih8spiders]

But I don't know if I am. [And yet he's flushing in telltale embarrassment; at least aware of the possibility that he might have been considered as such if his meister hadn't left and the future Yuuri had told him about had come to pass.]

[Video]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

If you're not sure if you love big, glorious, beautiful titties, you probably don't.

[Video]

[ih8spiders]

[He's starting to feel vaguely alarmed.]

How about if I just don't have a preference either way?

[Video]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

It means that you should get out there and have some kickass threesomes, is what it means.

[Video]

[ih8spiders]

[makes a disbelieving noise at the back of his throat]

Are sexual relations seriously the only thing you care about?

[Video]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Uh, hell no! I will have you know that I am also fiercely dedicated to being awesome!

[Video]

[ih8spiders]

[He's shaking his head again, like he's realizing all over again how vastly different their priorities are.]

Your life must be really [boring] mundane if the most important goals you can think of are getting laid and being seen as awesome.

[Video]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

You know, even with you describing it like that, it sounds pretty incredible.

But let me straighten one thing out: being seen as being awesome? Not as important as just being awesome.

[Video]

[ih8spiders]

[It's such a perfectly irrepressible reply that Kurapika can't help laughing under his breath. His ill temper has long since gone, too--it's virtually impossible to stay offended for long when faced with someone so utterly and ingenuously self-assured.]

I give up. But please, at least attend a few morning training sessions and learn how to stay alive. There's no point in being awesome when you're dead.

[Video]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

[It's largely the same reason that Barney's friends from home keep him around.]

Sure thing, bro! I'll go to the next one, or something. I'll have to make sure I'm not meeting a honey.

[Video]

[ih8spiders]

... Why would you even set dates early in the morning...

[And as soon as he finishes asking the question, he shakes his head and withdraws it.]

No, never mind. I doubt that I'll ever understand your motivations no matter how many questions I ask.

[Video]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Morning? Would.

Morning would.

...

Morning wood.

[Gleeful. So gleeful. He is seconds away from high-fiving himself. Then he gives in.]

Mirror five. Come on bro, that was freaking legendary.

[Video] FYI, didn't know either, had to ask on Plurk akjsdfh

[ih8spiders]

What?

[What just happened. Kurapika blinks in utter incomprehension. He's frowning slightly, too--he doesn't like it when there's something he doesn't understand.]

What's legendary?

[Video]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

You know what, bro?

Just never mind.

[Video]

[ih8spiders]

[looking rather put out now]

Was it something I said?

[But maybe this is his cue to back away from a rather horrifying conversation.]

[Video]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Mostly just how often you're saying "huh, what?"

[Video]

[ih8spiders]

I'm not acting ignorant on purpose. You're not making a lot of sense.

[Video]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Go to the library, right now. Find
this book.

Read it cover to cover. That is the first step towards enlightenment and comprehension, Grasshopper.

[Video] 1/2

[ih8spiders]

[He opens the given link... and immediately turns red in mortification.]

This--!

[Video] 2/2

[ih8spiders]

[He thinks he's being mocked, and has to pause for a moment to get his anger under control.]

I know the difference between men and women!

[Video]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Yeah? Do you know how to use that information?

[Video]

[ih8spiders]

Just because I know it doesn't mean I have to use it.

[Video]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

The weird thing is that you don't seem to want to.