soul_campaign | 004 ۵ Video ۵ March 12th

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004 ۵ Video ۵ March 12th

I have a question for those that have been here for a considerable amount of time: Just how frequently does BREW bring in new faces?

[ he doesn't really have a clue, considering he's only been around for two cycles of them. ]

Other than this, I have been reading up on a few things regarding human culture. Actually, I was looking for something to perhaps encourage more park visitors, and thus I began reading about different times of events. Presently, I'm open to a few ideas, if anyone feels like providing them.

[ Locked to Karkat ]

I didn't really want to force you to speak until you were ready, but I believe we need to talk. After you calm down a bit, of course.

[ /Lock ]

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I'm not saying Gamzee was right and Eridan was wrong, dammit! They both heartily suck, that's apparent to everyone with a semi-functional lobe stem. But at least when I tell Gamzee to stop being so harrowingly terrible to everyone around him, he shuts his braindead clown shit down and listens to me.

[Karkat grouses, but this story doesn't hurt as much as it did when everything went down last December. and he told a couple of other people since then. neither of whom were still in the city, but at least he knows how to talk about it.]

Look, it all happened so fast, it felt like I blinked and everyone was dead or absconding. Eridan and I got into another one of our talks where he's shitty as usual and I tell him what he's doing wrong and he basically ignores it. He was all batshit over some stupid wand Kanaya alchemized for him, so I told him in no uncertain terms not to try dueling Sollux again. It's kind of his thing, Eridan hits on everyone and he was trying like hell to get Sollux to be his kismesis around then.

So of course the instant my back was turned, he got into a duel with Sollux.

[awkward pause.]

Which was how he lost his eyes.

[moving on.]

After that it was just one reaction after another. Feferi jumped in to get revenge for Sollux, and he killed her. Kanaya...

[this one hurts. Kanaya means a lot to him.]

...she got in his way, so of course he had to hopesplode her fucking matriorb and take her out too. Makes perfect sense, right? All while I...

[long pause. he still has a lot of feelings.]

God dammit, I didn't do ANYTHING! I'm supposed to be the last sane troll, keeping all these losers in line and working toward a goal so nobody gets bored and decides to liven things up by spilling blood, because what the fuck ELSE do some of them even know how to fucking do, and what happens? I just... fucking stood there with my mouth open like some kind of legless woolbeast!

It's not your fault, Karkat. Don't carry that burden. It will drive you mad.

[ not that he has much room to talk, okay? the Signless still struggles from time to time with wondering if the whole rebellion was even right, considering the lives lost in it... ]

Don't trouble yourself with "what ifs" and chasing after shadows. What's done is done. It cannot be changed, no matter how much we wish otherwise.

[there's a long silence before Signless gets an answer.]

That's probably the worst part. It can't be fucking changed, ever, and apparently there's no way anything could have turned out all right without making everything exponentially worse. Everything that happened... all of the dying, the mistakes we made, all of the shit that went so profoundly wrong? It was supposed to happen like that! Doing it any other way would have meant throwing us all into a doomed timeline where we'd all get destroyed eventually.

[ if Signless was that kind of troll, he would be mentioning how everything has a reason for being... but he won't not now. ]

You kids... I'm finding that I have a growing respect for everything you are taking upon yourselves.

[ because that's some heavy stuff, Karkat. ]

I would try to find something to say, but it would be just words and I would prefer them to come when genuine comfort and support can be provided. Something like this? I have no answers for. No one does.

The only thing that I can advise on is this: let it go.

How, though?

[he appreciates that you're not trying to give him any "do your best" lip service right now, but seriously, ancestor. letting things go is... not something Karkat's ever been capable of, let alone good at.]

[ he isn't either. not really. ]

Maybe we should learn the answer to that together.

Maybe.

[there's a pause, then...]

You're seriously going to keep working with Eridan, aren't you.

I will for as long as he is willing.

[grumble, grumble.]

Good luck. You're going to need it.

I imagine I will, but so will you.

Don't worry about me, dammit. I've been putting up with him for sweeps, another perigee or whatever isn't going to kill me.

I mean, assuming he even stays that long. We've had something like four fucking Eridans come through here already, it's like BREW's playing a huge unfunny joke on us all or something.

I find it hard not to worry, Karkat. Especially for your well being.

Perhaps BREW keeps on doing this because it has not found the right one yet.

You're not my lusus, you know.

[but even Karkat seems to realize what a whiny, immature thing that was to say and doesn't press the point.]

Look, when it comes to him, I don't think there's such a thing as a right one. Just shades of aggravation. This one's being an especially big pain in the nub, but it's not like I can't figure out how to shut his entitled whiny shit down.

If I succeed then I will give you pointers.

[ not touching the first comment, Karkat. he doesn't care if he's your Lusus or not. ]

[yeah, that's already pretty damn apparent. he appreciates it, even if he might never say so.]

Hell, write a book. I'm pretty sure everyone would buy a copy. You'd be swimming in local currency inside a week.

But Karkat...

I already am.

Well... I was mostly making a dry observation about how no one else wants to figure out how to shut Eridan's needy shit down, but okay, I guess I'll bite.

What's it about?

Patience and observation.

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004 ۵ Video ۵ March 12th

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