soul_campaign | purl four | video | january twenty-fourth

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purl four | video | january twenty-fourth

[those who know this network id well enough should know that usually its user stays exclusively to voice and text. today seems to be the first break from this pattern, however, as the feed opens to Rose standing in the morgue. those not intimately familiar with the place will have difficulty pegging it as such - the angle of the camera leaves only the very edge of the corpse fridges visible.

Rose's face is carefully neutral, although she's far too pale for comfort. she stands stiff and ramrod straight, the first indication that something is very wrong. when she speaks, her voice is tight but calm.]

We've returned from our mission. I'm afraid that we ran into more trouble than we could handle.

[without changing expression or moving her gaze from the camera she reaches out and in one swift motion pulls on a slab, bringing the body of one Yosuke Hanamura into view.

she was very careful in angling the camera so that the damage done to his arm wasn't visible - it was bad enough that she had to do this in the first place, there was no need to make this any harder on anyone than it had to be.]

I don't - [she cuts herself off, swallows hard. Rose hates tripping on her own words, hates losing her composure in public, but it's so difficult to keep a handle on everything this time. she hadn't even been back to her apartment yet, caught up instead in the whirlwind that her arrival back in the city with a dead body on her shoulders had caused.

she was very tired, and her work still wasn't done. keep it together, Lalonde. you brought this all on yourself.]

There haven't been any arrangements made. I suppose that whoever takes charge of his effects will have to plan that out as well.

He left me something to give to a friend but I'm afraid that he wasn't able to specify which, only that he had a girlfriend. [she pauses, shifts a little. for a brief moment Rose looks as lost as she feels as she murmurs, words encompassing more than just her last wish dilemma]

I don't know what to do.

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Practically writhing in pain from the overwhelming ennui that my existence would become. I'll be absolutely certain to rent a skywriter to emblazon my undying gratitude across the skies for a week straight.

[A pause.] Speaking of pain. You aren't secretly dying from internal blood loss? No sudden diseases that are slowly rendering your organs useless. Gotta cover my bases. This eloping back to home base isn't gonna fly if you don't make it with me.

Way to make a guy swoon by the way. I'll look to the skies everyday and realize my passionate and undying love. We're talking sappy poems and rhymes. It'll be disgustingly romantic.

Poems and rhymes? You'll spoil me rotten if you're not careful about all the luxuries you're piling upon me. [she raises an eyebrow, then turns away a little to lift her chin proudly]

As to your question, unfortunately for you and the rest of the city I was given a clean bill of healthy by the medical personnel who checked me over upon my return. I sustained some superficial cuts but nothing more.

Jegus, no need to get uppity. I was trying to drop the douchebag levels a notch to make sure you're okay. We need more snarky broads psychoanalyzing everyone anyways. I'm almost starting to miss you constantly on my ass about the traumatic inner workings of my mind.

I'll throw in some beats. You'll be tripping hard on all the shit I'll pile on you.

Somehow I suspect that if I trip over said obese beats I'll injure myself and be rendered unable to provide the direly needed psychoanalysis that you cry out for.

However, since leaving you bereft of the ability to expose the seedy underbelly of your subconscious is grossly unconscionable, I'll just have to see that I keep my footing.

Damn, I'll keep it on the downlow. Wouldn't want you to be overwhelmed by my sheer swag.

There's a dirty joke in there somewhere, but I'm classier then that. [He wants to ask what happened. But he doesn't. Mostly because he doesn't want to know. Maybe that makes him a shitty friend, but he didn't exactly butt his business. Rose was usually sensible enough that if she felt the need to talk, she would.

Of course, he was terrible at telling people anything, so maybe he just didn't because he usually avoids talking himself.] You eaten yet?

Not since - [the morning they set out, the morning she'd belittled his choice of a candy bar and implied he was getting pudgy, a morning that felt a million years away.

Rose tosses her head a little to banish the thought, turning the compulsive action into a shrug aimed at Dave.]

It was some time ago, but substantial enough to carry me until next designated mealtime. So if you're going to attempt to foist some nearly expired foodstuff onto me I'm afraid you'll have to look elsewhere.

No, I was more thinking we can get some decent shit, because I'm starving and expired foodstuff doesn't sound appetizing at all. And pigging out by myself isn't something I consider a fun time.

So what do I have to do to convince you to break schedule for just a little bit and get on with your badself to eat with me before whatever the fuck time you consider the 'next designated mealtime.'

Emotional eating goes right to your thighs, you know. It would be a tragedy to be a willing accomplice in such a crime. I don't think that my moral conscience could stand it, no matter what desperate entreaties you threw my way.

Since when did Lalonde start worrying the state of a certain Dave Strider's beautiful physique? I mean, I know I'm gorgeous, but I thought you were immune to such charms.

So that's a no on food?

If you flatter yourself any further you'll blow away in the windstorm of your own ego, Strider. I was merely pointing out that you can't afford to be negligent with your eating habits.

Correct.

Tell you what, whenever I get in over my head, I'll tell you. You have front row seats of making fun of Strider for doing something ridiculously stupid because he was too hardheaded to take any warnings seriously. And my eating habits are fine.

So we're just heading back to the place.

Somehow I doubt you could balance a food pyramid unaided, but I'll let that foible slide in exchange for backstage passes to the I Told You So extravaganza.

I'm afraid so. No dramatic breakdown or wailing over tubs of ice cream for you to delight in. Perhaps next time you'll be a bit luckier.

Backstage passes and your own personal questionnaire. Your psychoanalyzing hobby will be in an uproar at how personal this shit will get.

Honestly, I'd probably have to find whoever caused you to breakdown and resort to consuming copious amount of frozen delights. No one realizes how scary Lalonde gets when she resorts to eating herself into a coma. A terrifying thing to behold.

My goodness, the temptation is far too great for even my ironclad will to resist.

Only when I'm in a food coma? I'd have thought you'd be more than happy to proclaim to the world that the aura of fear envelopes me incessantly.

Unfortunately, everything is current to be announced, because no one knows when Strider is gonna get his ass into some ridiculous position like that.

It's not my place. I'd be stealing someone's job if I did that. I'm the sassy friend who has to sometimes say things to keep the status quo from completely collapsing.

Is that so? I'd have thought that some relentlessly dedicated fan would have cracked the seemingly random algorithms and concocted a personalized schedule for such occurrences.

You truly are the Atlas of our times, balancing oneliners precariously upon your weary shoulders.

You make it sound like I'm that easy to crack. Obviously, the reason no one has figured it out is because it's impossible to.

Someone has to do it.

Is that so? My published works on the extensive spelunking I've done into the seedy recesses of your mind will take the world by storm, then.

We're all eternally in your debt.

I don't think anyone will be able to handle the truth splattered on those neatly typed pages. Lalonde, I hope you're ready for the chaos you'll be starting if those books ever reach the public eye. My reputation would be at stake.

[You know, he's glad they don't live on the ground floor. It feels a little more at home in that sense.]

I'm certain that you'll be able to crawl from the radioactive wreckage fully intact, much like a cockroach after an apocalyptic nuclear meltdown the likes of which would give jaded sci-fi writers the world over the vapors. You're simply too resilient not to, even with my greatest efforts at play.

[just don't expect her to toss you down the emergency stairs when you get homesick]

Yeah, well considering we're made from the same ectobio bullshit, you're just as resilient. It'll be a crazy game of you doing whatever you can to knock me down my pegs and me being too much of a stubborn ass to ever get off them.

[He'd probably not appreciate being tossed down them anyways. He likes his teeth, thank you. They are not reenacting Karkat dropping Sollux.]

An excellent point. Luckily I'm clever enough to understand that avoiding a stalemate is much easier if I focus on removing the pegs rather than shoving you off them like a sulky toddler unable to wait her turn on the jungle gym.

[oh come on, that turned out great for everyone involved]

Oh, hell naw. You pull that peg off and I'm going with it. No way in hell you're getting me off this shit. I'm addicted to being on my high horse. Can't stop me now. The stupid machine that just rocks you back and forth for like a minute that you see in front of grocery stores? I just shoved all my quarters in it.

[No way man. You go take a trip down the stairs then if you think it'll be great.]

This sounds like an utterly horrid time to mention that you've just made an investment in a ride that no longer functions, but I bring the sad tidings to your attention all the same. Such tragedies are the natural outcome when you tangle with a Lalonde in the very familiar territory of unwarranted arrogance.

[sorry dude, but after leaping off a waterfall a flight of stairs is small potatoes]

purl four | video | january twenty-fourth

[Action; some things don't go according to plan ok]

[Action; they didnt mean it. Clerk was being a meanie butt >:U]

[Action; obviously they're victims of circumstance]

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[Action;] For some reason her looking at me scared me kdjfs LOL

[Action;] you aren't the first person to tell me that, haha

[Action;] I didn't expect it

[Action;] nobody ever does

[Action;] you troll hdu

[Action;] i regret nothing

[Action;] RUDE???

[Action;] oh well that's life

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