soul_campaign | The 17th Roll: May 12th, night [Text/Private to various]

Yes.

How much did you tell the new arrival?

Not much at all... nothing about anyone.

But I thought he was Ryuzaki, so I called him that name when I saw him...

that was enough.

He's impersonated Ryuuzaki before.

I couldn't tell he wasn't until I looked closely. After he said things that weren't right.

You would think I could have been able to tell sooner.

What did he say? I see he's claiming amnesia.

That he couldn't remember anything, just that the name Ryuzaki was familiar.

And that he wanted to meet the person who had his name and looked like him.

I'm not surprised. He's obsessed with him.

Do you know why? The reason they look alike isn't a coincidence, is it?

[If this were audio, Bakura would be able to hear a sigh, as Mello resigns himself to telling some of the background.]

Has Ryuuzaki told you, or have you figured out, what the deal was with where Near and I grew up?

Only a little... You were supposed to be come the next him, right?

B was the same. He was there before my time. They hadn't... let's say refined the process yet.

My personal opinion is that he would've snapped no matter what. But his snapping took the form it did because of his fixation on L.

[[There's a bit of a pause as Bakura reflects on that]]

So he tried to become him in more ways than how they wanted... and to replace the original.

[[another pause as he remembers something L once told him months ago]]

Is he the one that Ryuzaki was blamed for the death of...? Or the one who did the blaming...?

He knew he couldn't surpass him. So he became a twisted shadow of him, and tried to create a case even Ryuuzaki couldn't solve.

Most likely the one who did the blaming, but it wasn't Ryuuzaki's fault. The sort of people who are good candidates are also the sort of people who tend to crack. The very first, A, committed suicide.

[[another pause. What was it with that place and letters for names... That wasn't something to reproduce!

...wait... did that mean...]]

And being Ryuzaki isn't anything that could never not be stressful.

No one from your world uses their real name, do they? Not anyone from that place. Since he didn't have one, and because of the danger, everyone became someone else, didn't they? Even if it was just in name.

[[Being asked to become someone else to start with... throwing away who you had been before to take on someone new... Was it before of after he cracked, that he threw away himself to become the other L? Either was was just as likely...]]

You've seen the effects for yourself on more than one person. Near's currently the one doing it, back home.

I haven't used my real name since I was 6. A lot of the power's in the title, in the reputation attached to it. For someone mentally fragile, it could easily feel a lot like the goal was to erase yourself.

It could feel like that even for someone who wasn't fragile.

[[The pause this time is so much longer

That... explained so much in so many ways that were just unhappy.]]

A lot of power is in a name.

[[It didn't at all say what he wanted to. He had no idea how to put that into words.]]

Someday, would you tell me yours?

[[And a moment later]]

It'd be better it the title would be erased. Not the person.

Maybe. Not over the network.

It would be impossible to get rid of the title at this point. I think I've told you before: you'd have to be from my world to really understand.

I know.

But I wish it could be. It doesn't seem to help anyone who has it....

[Mello really doesn't like thinking about Near going back to being L in their world.]

It's weird to think that I used to want it so much.

Didn't know what it was like?

Not when I was a kid, no.

And I didn't know what I'm like. I always assumed the title would fit me because I wanted it so much, but I would've ended up changing to fit it. And I would have hated it, but there'd have been no way out by then.

That you could make it yours... instead of being made its...

Sometimes I wonder if Ryuzaki would have chosen to become that title if he had had the choice. Even though he was the one it was made for... he was still shaped by it.

[[A slight pause]]

The real Ryuzaki isn't that title. But since it was made to be him, he can't escape it...

He doesn't have a true name to hide behind.... Not even the one that killed him.

[Mello switches to audio, because it seems easier. His voice is quieter than usual.]

Honestly, I don't think I would've done. It's only since being in Death City that I've realized how much--

[A huff of a laugh, without much humor in it.]

How much it would've made me feel trapped. And I didn't know Ryuuzaki. We only met once in our world. It used to be impossible for me to separate him from the title.

...For the love of god, don't tell him I said this, but. I'm not sure that's something he can do.

[[switches as well, shifting a little on the couch to be more compact, as if somehow that would keep the conversation more secret as he matches Mello's tone.]]

...only once? But...

[[he trails off. He had though that L had at least had his replacements as company at some point... to not even have that...

There was a slight pause.]]

He can. I know he can. But I don't know if he knows that yet...

He's not the same person he was when he first arrived. None of us are. So I think... I think because of that, it can be done... Since that title doesn't exist here, not outside of all of you, right? There's no one saying what it has to mean any more... So Ryuzaki can just be Ryuzaki.. and not that title.

[Mello would like to believe that, but he's considerably more skeptical than Bakura. It's been hard enough for Near to let go of being L as much as he has here.]

It's not that easy.

[He doesn't know if Bakura knows the actual title, but given how much else he already knows, there's no point not telling him.]

L only exists at all because Ryuuzaki was so good at what he did that he became the equivalent of several law-enforcement agencies on his own. The world couldn't afford to lose him. But all L really was at first was Ryuuzaki doing what he would've done anyway.

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[text | private] And for sanity sake, this all happens BEFORE the thread with YB.

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