soul_campaign | 009 ♥ video (january 28th)

[ Haru makes his first network appearance in a while, in an expensive tub filled with bubbles. From the fancy decor to the well-polished floors, this is obviously a hotel room. A casual smirk slowly splays across his lips. ]

Woooo, woooo....it's the sound of the DEMISE network police, coming around to remind you newbies of the three very important rules of living here in Death City.

[ His sud-covered hand lifts toward the screen, one finger extended. ]

Rule number one~! No nudity without censors. [ He pans the feed down toward his barely covered body with just enough bubbles pooled around to conceal. ] See. This is okay because you can't really see anything.

Rule number two! You need to watch your language. There are plenty of children who can't hear the words cock, fuck, dick... [ He claps his hand over his mouth in mock innocence before continuing on: ] -- so find creative words for those things. Do you want to suck my lollipop works.

Rule number three! [ And there's a bitter, dark laugh at this. ] You're not allowed to be anything other than happy, perky, heroic or anything along those lines. Anything darker is just not allowed. So sorry for you bad guy types. Sorry for you not-so-good types. You're gonna have to change who you are to please them if you want to live peacefully in this city~! But if you can follow those three rules, you should be just fine.

[ He wears the brightest of smiles. Passive aggressive, much? ]

Oh. And for all you newbies who aren't prudes? My name's Haru. I'm a sex pro. Call me sometime and we'll discuss rates, mmmkay~? ♥

[ He blows a kiss. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, you could make it easier and just tell me what your kink is. So I don't have to guess.

Whether I do or don't have kinks is none of your concern. I have no intention of hiring your services.

Oh? Then you're spoken for? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Married?

I'm quiet and confidential and do threesomes too!

I'm not spoken for. Is it so hard to believe that I'm completely uninterested in your 'business'?

[Trying so hard to not sound irritated... and it's not working very well.]

Yes. But I suppose I can understand because you've never had a taste. I mean, if you did...you'd be all over me without hesitation.

[ Irritation is a surefire way to make sure he never leaves you alone, Barnaby! ]

I highly doubt that. Aren't you a little young for this sort of thing?

[He can't help it! He's trying... just failing really hard.]

Me? I'm 24! And I'm part cat and I'm divorced and I have a son!

[ He discloses all his personal details way too easily. ]

...I beg your pardon?

I'm 24 and part cat and divorced and have a son. Did you hear that time?

I did. [He's just having a bit of trouble believing it.]

Good! So why don't you tell me a little about you~? We can start with the size of your dick and work from there!

[Barnaby audibly chokes. You caught him off guard with that one!]

T-that's none of your concern!

[ Just as planned! ]

Awww, are you shy about it? Don't worry. I don't judge. We can even make this feed private, if you want.

Private feed or no, that's not the point. It's an indecent question that I refuse to answer. That's a question that shouldn't be asked at all.

You're so proper, aren't you? I bet you haven't even measured it. If you want, I can wait while you do so. Orrrr I could always do it later with my mouth.

I wouldn't call it proper so much as I would call it decency. No one is measuring my... that

[He sighs, and loudly. You're really getting to him, Haru.]

Decency ain't so much in my job description, mister. Who would buy a prostitute that was decent?

That's where you've made your error: I wouldn't buy a prostitute at all. I don't believe in 'buying' humans, part-cat or otherwise.

Even one with a fantastic rep and a guarantee for a good time or your money back?

Even so. That's not my idea of 'fun' in the least, and certainly not something I would spend my money on.

So what is your idea of fun?

Listening to classical music. [That is his only hobby.]

...

[ he's waiting. And when it becomes clear Barnaby isn't saying anything more, he adds: ]

...and?

...My profession doesn't leave room for many hobbies.

Oh? What do you do?

[voice]

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