thirteenth dazzle | July 29, after dark | video

[tauborn]

[Takuto doesn't look sad for this appearance on the network, but he doesn't look characteristically happy, either. He just looks... tired. Maybe it's just that the only light is the glow from the communicator's screen itself, but he looks far more tired than a seventeen year old boy obsessed with singing out his youth and being a source of metaphorical radiance has a right to look.

He sighs, turning the video feed away from himself, into what appears to be total blackness.]

...Some of them are missing. [The darkness of the image focuses in and out of a blurry gray before slowly resolving into tiny pinpricks of light. Stars. There's the sound of a heavy sigh once again.]

I know it's not a thing that's particular to this city or this world or the situation we're all in. People can leave for reasons much worse than a magical device's whim. But all this leaving is exhausting me. People coming and going and coming and going.

[He pauses, recollecting his thoughts as the images blurs, refocuses. The stars twinkle, distantly, silently.]

I think life is a string of people coming and going no matter who or where you are, but… but here, this… I’m getting tired of it.

BREW sent Yuugi away.


[text | private to Yako]

I'm on my roof and I would like some company.

Comments

video;

[i_am_not_eleven]

So what? You want a pat on the head or something?

[video]

[tauborn]

Fuck off.

[He is so not in the mood for you. And don't take it personally that he didn't actually look at the communicator. Even though it's on video, the video feed has just been showing the stars because he's too tired to hold it.]

[video]

[i_am_not_eleven]

Boo~ Wrong answer! It was supposed to be either 'yes' or 'no'.

[video]

[tauborn]

Then 'no.' I don't want to see you and I don't even like hearing your voice.

[video]

[i_am_not_eleven]

[He really can't help it, and he's laughing like this is the best joke in the world.]

Ehhhh? How mean. And here I was trying to take your mind off everything?

[video]

[tauborn]

No, you weren't. You were trying to make fun of the situation and belittle me.

[He sighs. All of a sudden he can't even be bothered to get angry at Sai. Because Sai is always like this. Always turning up at the worst moments and laughing and trying to bring out whatever weakness in Takuto or Yako he could exploit. He's tired of it.]

[video]

[i_am_not_eleven]

[That sigh makes him stop, and for a moment he frowns at the communicator (although he knows Takuto probably can't see it).

This was supposed to be fun, and now Takuto's lack of interest was making it really not fun at all. Where were his amusing outbursts of anger??]

......What's wrong with you?

[video]

[tauborn]

...You weren't actually paying attention, were you.

[Because his roommate is gone. And only all too soon after his friend-almost-more-than-friend Kaworu. And still only a week after his best friend in the whole world Sugata. He sighs again.]

[video]

[i_am_not_eleven]

Of course I was. A bunch of the people you keep around you are gone. But that doesn't answer my question.

[video]

[tauborn]

Actually... it does.

[video]

[i_am_not_eleven]

So you're what, lonely? You miss them? Feel sorry for yourself? Wish they were here no matter what they want? Which is it?

[video]

[tauborn]

I am lonely and I miss them. And... and I'm tired of always missing people.

...Is that an emotion you've never felt before or something?

[video]

[i_am_not_eleven]

Why should I have felt something like that? People's lives are short. If I had to miss them all, wouldn't it just be a waste of time? I don't even need them.

[video]

[tauborn]

I thought so.

How old are you?

[video]

[i_am_not_eleven]

[For once, Sai is the one being suspicious of someone else. He finds Takuto actually asking him a question that isn't "why are you still here?" really unsettling and it shows in his expression and in his voice.]

Why does it matter?

[video] sldkfjl suddenly I feel this cr has gone to the next level

[tauborn]

Because you said people's lives are short. I want to know what you're comparing it to.

[video] /levelling-up fanfare!

[i_am_not_eleven]

Weren't you listening to Katsuragi Yako? I'm a murderer. I don't need to compare it. I know that people die easily and they can be replaced just as easily.

[He was sure that this was true for everyone he met. It was all a matter of time, that's all.]

And if you really wanted to know so badly, this body is seventeen.

[video] now the ffvii end battle fanfare is stuck in my head.... orz

[tauborn]

Then we're the same age. [Which is strange, and a little disturbing.]

People die easily, but they aren't replaceable. If you think they are, then you're just not paying attention.

[video]

[i_am_not_eleven]

So what if we are? [He definitely sounds more than a little annoyed at this point.]

Maybe you're just not looking hard enough.

[video]

[tauborn]

I'm certain you can't see the things I see.

[And there is actual, honest pity in his voice. It's not condescending in any way, it's simply disappointed for your sake.]

[video]

[i_am_not_eleven]

Hmph. Like I'd want to see something like that.

[It doesn't have to be condescending. If it was condescending, maybe it wouldn't bother him as much. Honest feelings were difficult for him. He'd never been good at dealing with them because they caught him off guard and not in a way that he could even enjoy.

More and more, he's starting to think that maybe this conversation had been a mistake on his part to begin with.]

[video]

[tauborn]

You wouldn't know if you would want to or not.

[The stars are actually pretty bright tonight. It's nice. For Takuto, at least.]

[video]

[i_am_not_eleven]

I do so.

[He glares at the communicator, not caring that Takuto probably isn't even looking.]

[video]

[tauborn]

[Takuto is so not even looking. He is quietly hoping that everyone else finds the stars as soothing as he does.]

Then what are you looking at?

[What do you see?]

[video]

[i_am_not_eleven]

A shot of the sky.