soul_campaign | 04. Quartus | Video

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04. Quartus | Video | 7th September

[ hello death city! It has been a while, hasn't it? He should post more to the network, he often gets such interesting answers. Kaworu is smiling, as usual, currently at a music store (thank you, Shinji), sitting in front of a piano ]

I have been wondering, what do you live for? What keeps you going and gives you reason to live?

[ yes, deep meaningful questions, Kaworu loves them.

Finally, the angel presses a piano key ] I do have another question, what kind of music do you enjoy? I'm very fond of classical, but I'd like to learn more.

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Then, won't be those things things to live for? [ LIKE YOUR PARTNER THAT TOO, don't think he forgot ]

Gothic and Industrial. Alright, I will look those genres up.

They're definitely reasons to live. [He comes close to an actual grin.]

It's an interesting question, especially in light of how Death City is the only option for living at all for some of us. Are you getting good answers from other people? I assume you're not looking for a reason for yourself.

I find it very interesting, to listen to what others haver to say.

To me, it doesn't really matter if I live or die. But right now, Shinji and his life are what dictates my actions.

It doesn't matter? Why the hell not?

Because it's not important. [ he is not important ]

You're quick to assume it's important for everyone else.

Because unlike you, my kind doesn't care if they die. We don't have what you call "survival instinct".

[This idea is so foreign to Mello that trying to imagine what it would feel like renders him uncharacteristically speechless for several seconds.]

But if you live for other people, what do you do when they let you down?

[It's what people do. Except Near.]

You'd say one lets you down when you expect something from them and they do the opposite, or when they do something you don't agree with. I have no set concept on how one must be; I accept the way everyone is. No one lets me down, Mello.

[ and that's why it's not conflicting to him that a person kills. That's why he wasn't mad that Shinji killed all of his siblings and kind; he wasn't mad that he was used by the men of SEELE and he certainly wasn't angry when he found out they wanted to use Kaworu so they could become gods. ]

It doesn't mean I agree with everyone, it means I simply accept they they see things differently than me. Than you. Than Shinji. Than Near. I might ask questions in order to understand those differences, but I do not plan on changing anyone. [ even if it looks like it, at times ]

I live for others, yes. But it doesn't mean others need me. You are perfectly capable of going on without me, even if I live for you.

[Mello shakes his head, but then has to half-smile. He finds it hard to believe anyone could stand living that way, but it's so in tune with everything he knows of Kaworu that he doesn't doubt it's all true.]

How can you have no expectations? In theory, there are an infinite number of ways people could behave, but in reality, the probabilities can be narrowed so much that it's easy to predict what they'll do. You really never do that?

And. Don't you feel as if you'd like someone to live for you?

[It almost makes him sad to think that Kaworu is so far removed from feeling the inherent imbalance that it doesn't seem to register for him that it exists at all.]

Being allowed to be like this with lilin is in itself, more than I could ever predict. It's something that would never had happened naturally. We are far too different, my kind and yours.

And no, I don't. reciprocation is not necessary. [ and yet, he does know how it feels. It feels very good. ]

So you do want things. But with no preconceived notions about what getting them will be like?

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04. Quartus | Video | 7th September

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