soul_campaign | Entry #A-11: "Anticlastic" [February 3, Audio, Morning]

[The last three days have run L absolutely ragged.

The madness-induced events of the 31st had been no joke, leaving L with finger-shaped bruises on his throat, drugged (sleeping pills), and poisoned (undercooked eggs? Or perhaps something else?) . The 1st of February had been spent recovering from the exhaustion and illness of the previous day, , and the 2nd had found him tentatively leaving the apartment in search of something to soothe his unsettled stomach... only to find himself in the middle of an attack on the city.

A crow familiar had tried to seize his skinny arm and carry him away. He'd beat it off with an enormous bottle of Pepto-Bismol he'd purchased moments before the city had erupted in chaos, stumbling and half-falling into a shop's storm cellar.

He had remained there, motionless and wide-eyed, all night, watching shadows pass outside and pressing his back against the wall if one came too close. At one point, a zombie had tried to break in; scarcely daring to breathe, L had held the doors shut, knuckles whiter than his face, until the threat had given up and shambled off to find a meal more easily extracted from its seclusion.

Now it is the 3rd. The Madness Wavelength is all but out of his system entirely (no small thanks to the food poisoning), and he emerges, disheveled and blinking, into the quiet street.

He takes out his communicator, reading the news as he walks, briskly, and then at a slight jog, back towards Death City Heights.

He's moving too quickly to be a zombie, so hopefully residents won't mistake the gaunt, rigid-eyed man for one. He simply looks like someone who is consumed by an all-important purpose, and whose legs might give out before he accomplishes it. There are also some alarmingly vivid bruises on his neck, but if you're polite, maybe you'll pretend you don't notice.]

[Private to Mello and Near]

If you're there, please answer as soon as possible.

[/End Private to Mello and Near]

[Private to the Members of the Watch and the Agency (Excluding Light Yagami)]

I'm Rue Ryuzaki, a relatively new member of the Watch. I respectfully request the names of those who either died or went missing during last night's attack, especially those who were scheduled to work with these two organizations today but failed to show up this morning.

[/End Private to the Members of the Watch and the Agency (Excluding Light Yagami)]

[Private to Light Yagami]

Where are you, at this exact moment?

[/End Private to Light Yagami]

[Private to Bakura]

Make me something to eat. Immediately. I haven't eaten since the 31st you cad and if I'm going to do something about this situation, I'm going to need more energy than what I can currently muster. Leave it at my apartment.

[/End Private to Bakura]

[He makes it all the way to Mello and Near's apartment, letting himself in with a key they never asked him to return and finding no trace of his successors.

Exhausted, he leans against the wall and slides to the floor, cupping his communicator in his hands. He'll go back to his apartment soon... but for now, he's winded, heart pounding in his thin chest and his legs refusing to work. It can wait until he's rested a moment.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Light raises his brows, taking a bite of his apple and chewing it slowly -- as though to savor this sweet moment where the tool L wanted to use against him had backfired.

He swallows his bite. ]

Was I 'turned on' you mean? Of course I was.

[L watches, over his shoulder and out of the corner of his eye, as Light chews his apple at a leisurely pace. If he thinks that admitting an attraction to Yako is going to make L stop picking at this particularly ugly scab, he's sorely mistaken.]

But I said 'the other day', Light. Does this mean that you admit you were 'turned on', at that time?

[ Light shrugs slightly after L's question. There is no denying that he was -- but how to play it without playing into L's hands? How to spin it so that he still comes out with the advantage? ]

You asked if I was passionate and breathing heavy like the other day. In essence, those things are indicative of being turned on. The answer to that question should be obvious.

[ He takes a bite and chews thoughtfully. ]

Why are you so interested in this now, L? Why does it fascinate you when you're guilty of the same thing? Why were you so ready and eager to respond to my touch after my hands had been around your neck with intent to kill? Don't you realize the further we dig into this topic, the more about you, we expose? Your sick and twisted fascination with me -- does it go beyond an obsession to lust as well?

You initiated, Light, I only reacted. And... not having engaged in sexual behavior before... I was, of course, very sensitive to stimulation.

[Spoken perhaps a bit more defensively than he would have preferred the words to sound.]

You had your hands around my neck. Your aim was to kill me, and that was something Kira would have done. In my field, in reference to me, the phrase "consummate professional" is thrown about often. It is not incorrect; I do not feel lust. I feel, intensely, that my case is the most important thing. Everything I do reflects that.

[ Light shrugs somewhat. He was getting to L. If he continues to press this, he's sure he would get something out of it. But...it's not a topic he wishes to stay on because it's a topic that involves him. It's something he'd much rather prefer to forget ever happened rather than use it to his advantage. Because even Light can't answer the 'why' of it on his end. Was it madness? Was it something more? He doesn't know and that's unsettling. ]

I honestly don't care.

[ He speaks with exhaustion and finality, dumping the apple core into the garbage. ]

It's something that wouldn't have happened without the madness so I see no point in continuing to discuss it. I don't care about your thoughts or feelings or whatever else fueled you to respond to me in the heat of the moment. But if you're going to press at me for my madness-fueled reasons and reactions, I am going to press right back at you and yours. In the end, this will get neither of us anywhere. So you should let this topic do what you yourself refuse to -- die.

[L thinks he understands what's occurring, here... and he thinks he knows how he can play it to his advantage. Light clearly wants to get off the subject, not because he doesn't care, but because it's uncomfortable. Because he did initiate, and he doesn't know what to do with the fact that L wants to force the issue.

On one hand, L is not uncomfortable. On the other hand, pushing Light too far could make him leave. And that would smart more than Light saying he doesn't care.

That does smart, actually. And it takes a fair amount of effort not to show it.]

Light. If you feel that the madness was wholly to blame, then of course I'm willing to respect that. But if you were to press in return... I think that you'd find little. In short, I'm a man dedicated to his career and his title, and by extension, to his suspect. It's to be expected.

Then accept it as something related solely to the black blood and move on.

[ His words are cold, confirming the conclusion L had drawn. Light doesn't want to be on the topic. And he certainly hopes this will be enough for L to drop it altogether as something of a fluke. He would be able to accept it had he been in the right state of mind and done it, but the madness led him to do many things he wouldn't have normally done. As much as he would love to strangle the life out of L, Light doesn't think he could take a human life with his bare hands. And the kiss? He doesn't even know where that factors in.

Considering he can't analyze his own actions (which is disconcerting) he definitely doesn't want L analyzing them and coming to all sorts of false conclusions. ]

Edited 2012-04-18 01:10 (UTC)

[L's bluff, of course, was that he had no retort prepared in the event that Light actually had more to say on the subject. He knew that the chances were slim, of course, given that the act had been equally appalling from both their perspectives (he thought?)... but with the way Light had kissed him, he'd be lying if he said that he hadn't at least wondered whether something else was behind it.

"Hoped" was too strong a word. Blasphemy, even. But L had not responded with revulsion, largely because he hadn't felt revulsion. Madness did many things to him, but strangely enough, it scarcely ever made him behave in ways that were uncharacteristic to him. He was always unpredictable and strange... the black blood had just pushed him to certain points more quickly than he might otherwise have allowed.

He clears his throat.]

Then... in the spirit of "moving on..." I should make arrangements for us to join the rescue effort. Please be prepared to leave as soon as possible...

Entry #A-11: "Anticlastic" [February 3, Audio, Morning]

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