soul_campaign | 02 { feb 13: late afternoon } { video[s] }

[The network was spammed with a flood of messages in the span of a few minutes. Instead of posting each separately, it compiles them into a single post since there are so many. Each block is a separate message.

He posts all of them publicly since there is nothing remotely private about them. They're all addressed to Roy though. Who cares about saving Roy's face? It's not like Roy's in charge of a bunch of people, right?]

Roooooooooooooooooy, I'm BORED. Hey, you should come over.

Roy. Roy. Hey, Roy. I'll bet you'll never guess what Elicia did a few nights ago. It was the most adorable thing ever! I had just got home, and I was really tired bu— [The video cuts off suddenly.]

ROY, MY APARTMENT'S ON FIRE. [He looks frantic, but there is no evidence of a fire in the background behind him.]

Hey, stop working and get your ass over here, Mustang. I'm dying of boredom, over here!

There's nothing to do, Roy. You should come over and share some of that paperwork with me! And by share, I mean, give it to me and don't do any of it at all.

Hey, didja' know that Falman has impeccable memory? I tried moving the chess pieces once when he wasn't looking, and he figured it out as soon as he looked at the board again. Yeesh! How about we play a round, Roy?

Roy, have you ever seen a toilet paper roll be flushed down the toilet? Not the whole thing, but if you pull the paper over from the holder, put it in the water, and then flush it? It's pretty funny. It's probably a waste of paper though.

...okay, so I ran out of toilet paper. That wasn't a really good idea. Roy, could you get some toilet paper for me? I'm out. Please? Pleeeease? [In the background, anyone can see that he still has toilet paper though...]

Seriously, Roy, you should stop working and come over here. Don't leave me hanging!

Alright. You know what? Since you probably think my place is complete boring, and there's no reason to come by, how about I show you something you can't resist?
[The video moves and focuses in on Amaterasu, who's sleeping on Hughes' bed. After a few seconds, it shifts back to Hughes, who is smirking.]
What was that? I couldn't hear what you said over your sheer jealousy.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hehe. Someone's crabby! I noticed there was the ability to filter, but I didn't feel like using it.

If you don't want to look at them, you can just scroll past, can't you?

HA HA HA! CRABBY!! I DON'T THINK ANYONE HAS USED THAT ONE TO DESCRIBE ME IN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES. WAIT HERE, I'M GOING TO GET A PAPER AND PEN SO I CAN IMMORTALIZE THESE PRECIOUS WITTICISMS AS THEY SPEW FROM YOUR GAPING NOISE CAVERN. THERE IS NO DOUBT IN MY MIND YOU HAVE MORE AND I WILL SIT HERE, EAGERLY AWAITING THEM LIKE AN OVER-SUGARED HUMAN CHILD ON THE EVE OF YOUR HORRIBLE RED CHIMNEY ASSHOLE HOLIDAY.

AND FOR THE RECORD, "SCROLLING PAST" BECOMES AN EXERCISE IN FUTILITY COMPARABLE TO BEATING SENSE INTO MY TEAMMATES WHEN YOU POST LIKE TWENTY THOUSAND VAPID MESSAGES MEANT FOR *ONE PERSON*, ONE AT A TIME, TO A NETWORK A LOT OF PEOPLE USE.

[He realizes the poster is being sarcastic, but he cannot help but pretend he does not.]

Oh, really? That's great! Then I'll have a list of all the jokes I make! Sometimes I forget some of the really funny puns I come up with, so that'd be wonderful! Thanks a bunch!

Hehehe. Should I send them to you, then? Then at least they'd be relevant to you, right? I'll do that next time.

YOUR SHODDY ATTEMPTS AT DEFLECTION ARE ABOUT AS EFFECTIVE AS YOUR PAINFUL JOKES. IF YOU WANT TO ANNOY MUSTANG WITH A SHITLOAD OF IDENTICAL MESSAGES, I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT, BUT DON'T MAKE THE REST OF US SIT THROUGH IT.

AND DON'T YOU EVEN LET THE CONCEPT OF SHARING YOUR INSUFFERABLE MISSIVES CROSS YOUR BRAIN ALL THE WAY, DAMMIT, I'LL JUST BLOCK IT. IT'LL BE A SAD WASTE OF TIME FOR US BOTH, BUT MOSTLY YOU, SUCKER.

Deflection? Is that what it's called when something is wonderful? It's really too bad that you see it that way, but I guess that's because you don't know me. I'm Hughes! What's your name?

It's not a waste of time as long as I'm having fun. I've actually talked to a wall for a few hours before, hehe. Even if you block them, I would still be having fun. The only thing sad would be the fact that you wouldn't be able to hear them.

NO, DEFLECTION IS THE THING WHERE YOU FOCUS ON ANYTHING BUT THE EXCELLENT POINT I JUST MADE ABOUT FILTERING YOUR DUMB SHIT, BUT YOU SEEM TO BE CONSISTENTLY DOING IT TO EVERYONE WHO MADE THE MISTAKE OF PAYING ATTENTION TO YOU, SO MAYBE YOU'VE JUST MADE A HABIT OF JUMPING FROM ONE THING TO ANOTHER LIKE A SPIDER ON THE SORT OF DRUGS THAT GET YOU BANNED FROM MAJOR SPORTING EVENTS.

MY NAME'S KARKAT, BUT I'M ONLY TELLING YOU THAT SO YOU KNOW WHO *NOT* TO BOTHER WHEN YOU GO ON ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR OBNOXIOUS COMMUNICATION BENDERS.

Nah, I pay attention. I just don't take note if I have no real need to, heh.
Hahaha! A spider on drugs! That's a funny mental image. You're pretty good at those jokes yourself, there.

Well, it's nice to meet you, Karkat! You seem like an okay guy, even though you seem to enjoy trying to upset people. I'll bet you're just lonely though.

IF YOU GET OFF THAT HARD ON HAVING A SHITTY SENSE OF HUMOR, YOU SHOULD TALK TO GAMZEE. I'M THE ONE WITH ALL THE COMMON SENSE, NOT THE JOKES. THUS WHY I'M EVEN WASTING MY TIME POINTING YOUR OBLIVIOUS STUNTED SIGHTGLOBES IN THE BASIC DIRECTION OF THE FILTER OPTIONS.

AND THAT OBSERVATION JUST CEMENTS YOUR IMAGE AS AN UNOBSERVANT SLIME-CHUGGING DOUCHE. FOR SOME REASON I CAN'T GET HALF OF YOU LOSERS TO LEAVE ME ALONE, LIKE IF I FALL DOWN ANY MORE FRIENDSHIP I'M SERIOUSLY GOING TO SHATTER SOMETHING.

Hehe. Having a poor sense of humor has nothing to do with common sense, silly. You say you only wasted time to tell me about filtering, but aren't you still talking to me? Typically, that implies that you actually want to talk to me.

Which observation did you mean? The fact that it's nice to meet you? Or maybe the fact that you're a nice guy? Or was it the fact that you're lonely? Because even now, it only seems like you're really lonely. Friendship isn't necessarily the solution to that, but it's the easiest way to not be lonely. Another way is to try and redirect your rage from being lonely at other people, hehe. But that way doesn't actually make you feel any less lonely, you know. It just makes you angrier since you're still lonely.

NO, WHAT THAT IMPLIES IS THAT I'M REALLY, REALLY FUCKING STUBBORN EVEN IN THE FACE OF INSURMOUNTABLE ODDS.

DON'T GET ALL PSYCHOLOGICAL ON ME, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME. AND FRANKLY, IF ONE MORE HUMAN DISPLAYS THE ARROGANCE NECESSARILY FOR THEM TO ASSUME THAT THEIR BRAND OF ANALYSIS HOLDS TRUE FOR EVERY SPECIES, I AM GOING TO LOSE MY SHIT. I WILL SIMPLY GRAB THE LARGEST CONCAVE SERVING IMPLEMENT I CAN FIND IN ONE HAND, SOME SOLDERING EQUIPMENT IN THE OTHER, WELD THAT MOTHERFUCKER TO THE WALL, BACK UP TO THE OPPOSITE END OF THE ROOM, AND GET A GOOD RUNNING START. AND MY HORRIFIC, TWITCHING DEATH BY IMPALEMENT WILL BE PREFERABLE TO ONE MORE OF YOU PINK EARTH MONKEYS PRESUMING YOU KNOW ENOUGH TO TELL ME ABOUT MYSELF AFTER LIKE *ONE* INTERACTION.

But that means you still want to talk to me despite how unpleasant it is, hehe.

That's true, I don't know you, but it's not like I'm judging you or anything. I still think you're an okay guy. It'd be nice to get to know you better though. Maybe once I do, then I'll understand how inferior I actually am. [He says that with complete honesty.]

...you're going to weld a bowl to the wall to impale yourself with? Or did you mean a spoon? I don't know if either of those will actually work, but if that's really the way you want to go, I'm not going to stop you.

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