soul_campaign | 28th February | Early morning hours

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28th February | Early morning hours | Text

The problem with questions, memories, and interactions is that once they occur they are difficult to forget or take back. I am struck time and time again, as people appear and leave this place, how people are difficult and painful gateways to new experiences..

And yet as they possess the power to bring great beauty and opportunity to learn, they also bring with them the ability take their piece of truth and the spice of their life with them when they disappear from this city.

Truth and memories are horrifically inescapable. Don't you think?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Woops, seems she suddenly finds it easier to articulate by speaking instead of typing, so she switches over. ]

But isn't that true, at the end of things? Ultimately you can ignore truths of the world for a little while, but in the end they simply come back and become apparent all over again, don't they? We live in a constant cycle of denial of the truth of things and the way the world works simply to make our lives seem more valid in the passage of time and space.

Hm. [It's quiet and amused.

Someday, nothing will matter, but that doesn't make everything meaningless now. Feeling like we can make a difference is a delusion we need. And not everyone's wrong about it.

Is it as essential as nourishment and water, though? Or can one live undiluted and still continue on and flourish?

It depends on the person, obviously.

I don't think it's possible to flourish without a purpose.

Hm. [ There's a little thoughtful pause, and if he were there she probably would have offered wine to drink along with her. ]

So raison d'etre still matters here, even if it isn't an utter fixation like it was in Romdeau... But does one have to have an individual purpose? Or maybe something more.. utilitarian would suffice..

Do you mean an abstract cause, like being determined to die for your country? Because that's bullshit.

Hm. That's a good question. I was more referring to... personally decided missions in life, though. Not so much a 'greater service' type of thing.

Like how some women find purpose in having a family and all of that.

There are a lot of people who decide to adopt Shibusen's cause as their own.

I've never had any trouble finding my own purpose. If I'd suddenly got everything I wanted somehow, I'd be bored out of my fucking mind.

From someone who was catered to: It is boring as anything. Wanting for things is much more fulfilling, I think.

Though it is an adjustment.

I'd find new things to want before long.

How did that happen?

The boring life or the adjustment?

The boring life. That would never happen in my world.

Romdeau was a cradle for all, but as the Regent's granddaughter I was, naturally, provided with all I could ask for and provided a life for by others.

But you wanted something that was yours. [It's a guess.]

No, I followed an almost magnetic need to go where Vincent Law went - and his quest for regaining his memories changed many things irreparably.

Who was he?

A virtual unknown to me then named Vincent Law.
It was just a .. magnetic attraction. I still don't understand why I crave his company when I never wanted or needed a person's company before in my life.

It can sneak up on you.

At least, [he can't resist adding, and this isn't private for a reason,] you didn't try to convince yourself you shouldn't have wanted it.

... That's an ironic assumption to make.

So you did try?

He's not a fellow citizen, oddly left handed and incapable of keeping even a ship so small as the Rabbit clean.
Not to mention the fact that my life was dictated by my grandfather, to keep a long story short.

... The draw was a strange factor I didn't quite understand, either.

I have a hard time picturing you letting anyone tell you what to do.

I assume 'citizen' has a status attached in your world that means more than just living in a particular country?

My grandfather was the Regent of Romdeau city - he could get to anyone, even my doctor who had an unhealthy obsession with trying to make me love him to the point that he made a more perfect clone for himself after I chose to leave. He had his hands on Iggy, on Daedalus, Laccan, Derida..

Needless to say it would take leaving or becoming even more of a social pariah to escape him.

Yes and No. The meaning is more to stroke the people's egos, really. But I would have rather been called a fellow citizen than "His Excellency's Granddaughter" at every damn turn.

I didn't grow up in an environment anything like that. But I was on my own from the time I was fourteen.

What happened?

I dig up things that I wasn't supposed to know, tilted what my grandfather was trying to achieve in bringing Vincent back and learning about proxies on its head by helping him escape Romdeau again.

Eventually the entire place went to hell and dropped out of the suspended dome structure. [ A pause, then. ]

They all died. Vincent, Pino, Kristeeva and I managed to escape, though.

.... But learning the truth wasn't necessarily what I thought it would be.

28th February | Early morning hours | Text

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