[text] 001; You know it's all funny until somebody gets shot in the leg.

[zoosmell]

i dunno, for having such a doggone depressing name...
death city isn't that bad!
except for the whole sandstorm and death and doom and gloom sorta thing.
i mean, i KNOW we have to go back soon, but...
while i'm here, i just start thinkin' real hard about the deep questions.
like if you eat your own booger...
where does it go?
i just don't know.
i don't think anybody can ever really know.
but i can really see myself settling down here and growing five mustaches and opening up a joke shop or somethin'.

Comments

[zoosmell]

even though you suck at this game, i will let you walk away with the car and not just the goats.
it was not karkat behind door number fifty million, which is like how many times you guessed...
it was you!

i really missed you, rose.

[thorny]

Me? Goodness, this is quite the startling revelation. I don't know what to do with myself, especially considering the wholly unsavory prize awaiting me at some point in the future.

I can imagine that the brief respite you've had from sharp quips and psychoanalysis was absolutely excruciating, yes.

[zoosmell]

it was more than excruciating, it was cruciating!
how am i supposed to know what's on my own mind without you looking in there?
you are also the only one i know who'd know where boogers go.
have you been here for days too?
that'd be kinda depressing.

[thorny]

You mean you haven't been keeping a journal of your most intimate thoughts and feelings for my convenient perusal the next time we crossed paths? I'm thoroughly disappointed in you, John.

My residency in this godforsaken city has spanned both multiple months and multiple comings and goings of friends and acquaintances. It's more frustrating than anything else.

[zoosmell]

oh.
that sounds kinda sad, rose...

[thorny]

Most things do if they're read too far into. I can assure you that there's been very few events here that have even approached sorrowful, most of them not involving me at all.

I'm just fine, I promise.

[zoosmell]

well...
i dunno, if that ever happened to me, i think i'd be super down and out.
but you've always been a lot more everything, so i trust you.
still!
you have to PINKY promise that you are fine!
and you know about what happens to people who break pinky promises!
all their toilet paper will be flipped the wrong way or something?
i forgot, but it was really serious.

[thorny]

Your faith in my abilities to not fall to pieces at the drop of a hat is greatly appreciated.

I'm willing to clean off a ceremonial dagger and swear in blood if the solemnity of the pinky promise isn't enough to satisfy your suspicious mind. I've nothing to fear from bathroom poltergeists.

[zoosmell]

that is the spirit of a true ghostbuster.
now that my mind has been assuaged with our brotherhood of pinky promises, we can get on to the real serious matters of business.
i have a soul and stuff now, so...
i guess that's pretty serious.

[thorny]

Not quite as serious as the confirmation that there was nothing of that ilk guiding my husk of a body, but I imagine that it was fairly shocking all the same. Who would have thought that innocent John Egbert would be in possession of something so weighty as a soul?

[zoosmell]

yes, rose.
yes, it is really weighty stuff, because now everything's different!
like, what if my soul is hungry?
what do i eat to feed my soul?
and i need to get a weapon, so it's like...
my soul will be holding a soul!
rose, that is a lot of souls!

[thorny]

I will admit that it's edging precariously close to becoming all of the souls, yes. But as someone without any experience in this highly spiritual area I really can't give you any sage guidance. Perhaps you should have taken a closer look at the manual they hand out upon arrival.

[zoosmell]

i don't need no stinkin' manuals, except that maybe i do, but bluh!!!
i guess it's ok.
are there a lot of fights here and stuff?
maybe i can find a weapon later and work on my jokes for now.
did you hear the one about the trees?

[thorny]

Not in its entirety; I'm afraid that I had to leaf halfway through.

There's a significant amount of spontaneous altercations exploding in the city, although I'd hesitates to categorize them as fights. The establishment here is almost woefully pathetic in their ability to handle a war in any fashion even close to resembling competent.

[zoosmell]

[ there is a long pause before his response comes, as he is too busy laughing and wiping away tears at the hilarious joke

no john no......... ]

yeah, i guess that joke was ok.
it could have used some work.
anyway, wow.
does that mean we're losing the war?

[thorny]

[Rose Lalonde: Mistress of Puns]

You'll have to forgive me for my rustiness - I'm all bark and no bite at the moment when it comes to humor.

The majority of the planet is under the control of the witches' and they have no difficulty in waltzing into what has been touted as the nerve center of their opposition. I imagine that in most universes that would qualify as having sided with the losing faction.

[zoosmell]

[ another pause for his snortlaughs nO HE IS TRYING TO BE SERIOUS HERE ]

but i'm sure we can win!
i mean, all we have to do is beat them...
and since you know all this stuff, maybe you can think up a way to protect our nerve cells center thing.
we are definitely on the winning side, just a really slowly winning side.
i guess i really do need a weapon.

[thorny]

I've made my opinions on the way Shibusen operates perfectly clear in the past along with some very simple advice on how to actually engage in a war instead of acting like a reactionary group of blubbering idiots.

Unfortunately the majority of the residents of this city have their heads too far up their asses to realize that their complacent acceptance of the status quo is simply contributing to the problem and making an actual victory slimmer and slimmer.

But what do I know? I've only witnessed it firsthand. I'm sure that your boundless optimism will prove right in the end despite its lack of solid facts to back it up.

[sorry John she just has a lot of ~~feelings about Shibusen. and uh. being treated like she's dumb and wrong sob sob.]

[zoosmell]

i guess i sound like an ass or something, but i think i'm right.
but i'll tell all those assfucks to actually listen to you for once and i'll do what you think is good.
i don't really know what to actually do because this all sounds really complicated and all those snazzy jargonblargon flies right over my head!
but you're my friend and i believe you.
i just don't think any side could be the losing side with you around?

[thorny]

[oh barf John stop it she's still cheesed at the other you not taking her seriously]

Give it a few days. I'm certain that you'll be able to see exactly what I'm talking about in that small timespan quite easily.

As my for participation in this debacle, I believe that those who are familiar with me see more as more of a liability than an asset. Take that as you will.

[zoosmell]

i take that as meaning this town is filled with dickweeds, but it's like that on the interwebs.
c'mon, rose, i am not a doctor, but i think i have a bad, bad case of the listenin's.
symptoms include listening to what you say and doing anything i can to help you.
also rashes.

[thorny]

They make a cream for that now, you know. You could purchase it over the counter without even having to go through the trouble of flashing a falsified id.

[zoosmell]

but then how will i purchase my alcohols?
if you don't want to talk about it, that's ok too.
i guess the best thing to do is just practice fighting with a new weapon.
i'm really gonna miss my old one, though.
it's such an asswipe move to take it away from us.

[thorny]

It really doesn't matter, as I'm fairly certain that the liquor stores are still recovering from several months ago.

As to that, I'm less offended at the fact that I've been removed of my needles and more irritated at the fact that simple weapons do little to no damage against most of the enemies here.

[zoosmell]

really?
god, that sucks ass.
i would've thought you already got new weapons by now.
i am sure somebody's form is needles.
or maybe yarn!