episode 017 [video; March 2nd]

[starfruitfrog]

[Welcome, everyone! You might be wondering: What’s happening? Is this another weird frog thing again?

Well, that’s a good question! In fact, if the paper letters stapled to the sky-blue background are any indication, this is a place where you can ask all of your questions! And someone is actually going to answer them.

KERO-SAN’S MAGICAL QUESTION JOURNEY~



All of the ‘O’s have been mysteriously replaced with cutouts of stars. (Not that mysterious though, really. Keroro’s running this show. He likes his stars.)

And look, kids! Here comes Keroro Kero-san now! From the bottom of the screen pops a small green puppet that bears a striking resemblance to a certain green alien.] Welcome, kids!

[Beside him, another puppet pops up, this one is red and has a scar across one of its eyes like a certain red daruma ruthless alien invader frog. When the puppet’s mouth moves it speaks in a falsetto that’s actually a little weird sounding. Like whoever was behind the voice was trying too hard to not sound like themselves.] W-welcome! [What the hell is with the kids thing, Keroro!? There are a lot of adults on this network, you know!!]

[Call him Kero-san, you idiot! And the kids show vibe is to make this whole experience relatable and friendly! (To who, Keroro...?)] Ah, Giro-san! Do you know what day it is today, de arimasu~? [and without even waiting for a response, Kero-san cuts in, smacking Giro-san in the face with his tiny cotton hand] It’s the very first Kero-san’s Magical Question Journey Network Show~

...what’s with that stupid name? [Spoken in Giroro’s regular voice, but in a whisper that he hopes the communicator wouldn’t be able to catch. Then he clears his voice because, right. He needed to stay in character didn’t he? And then in that forced falsetto again:] I mean...wow, really?

[He’s ignoring you, Giro-san. Everything that’s said out of character will be ignored from now on.] Yes, really! Today the topic of our show is.... Let’s Learn Abouuuuuut.... KERON! That’s right, everyone! The green and yellow planet of Keroro and Giroro’s universe, Keron. The beautiful 58th planet of the Gamma Large Nebula! So come with your questions, and we will answer them!

Comments

[Video]

[proudambassador]

Because you are making the little you hit yourself.

[Video]

[starfruitfrog]

[Puppet Keroro disappears under the table for Keroro to check whether or not saluting really did mean it was hitting itself in the head.

When it pops back up again, it waves an arm at the communicator.]

That was actually an accident, de arimasu. This is our first show and I'm not used to the puppet yet, de arimasu.

[Video]

[proudambassador]

I see, I see. What was it supposed to be doing, hm?

[Video]

[starfruitfrog]

Saluting, de arimasu.

[Video]

[proudambassador]

I see, I see.

[He gives a nod of his head.]

You are military, then?

[Video]

[starfruitfrog]

Yes! I'm the Special Preliminary Infiltration Squad Leader, de arimasu.

[Video]

[proudambassador]

The infiltration squad? And this squad, it tells people beforehand that it is infiltrating?

[Video]

[starfruitfrog]

Actually it's the first infiltration squad. It's responsible for testing the waters, de arimasu.

[Video]

[proudambassador]

So for you, infiltration is not about stealth? Not at all? ...Though I suppose you cannot hide well when you are bright green and bright red, if you look like your puppets do.

[Video]

[starfruitfrog]

Of course it's about stealth, de arimasu. It's just that our technology doesn't work here so I can't switch on my Anti-Barrier, de arimasu.

[Video]

[proudambassador]

Anti-barrier? What is that?

[Video]

[starfruitfrog]

The Anti-barrier is a field that can make the user invisible, de arimasu. We use it a lot back in our own universe, de arimasu.

[Video]

[proudambassador]

Invisibility. This, it is a technology that my people, we do not have. There are camouflage nets, yes, that make someone look like someone else, but there is nothing that makes one invisible, no matter how one wants. For one race, it comes naturally, but they, they are the exception.

[Video]

[starfruitfrog]

Not all aliens in my world had the technology either, de arimasu. And it isn't exactly perfect, but it works. We have something that has the same purpose as those camouflage nets you're talking about too, de arimasu. We use robotic suits.

[Video]

[proudambassador]

That, it is very impressive. I did not think that you would be so advanced, no, when you speak with puppets.

[And look like little Earth reptiles.]

Speaking of them, they are something cultural? You often use puppets for things?

[Video]

[starfruitfrog]

You have to be advanced when your planet specializes in invasion, de arimasu. Other planets won't take you seriously if you're using wooden bats as your invasion weapon, de arimasu.

[Especially when you look like little Earth reptiles.]

And these puppets are supposed to make the show friendly and approachable, like one of those Pekoponian kids' shows, de arimasu.

[Video]

[proudambassador]

So this, the puppets, they are also a form of disguise.

And my people, we conquer, but we do not invade so much. Perhaps that is why we do not have invisibility.

[Video]

[starfruitfrog]

I guess they are, de arimasu. [Although he had never really thought of it that way before.]

Conquerors, huh, de arimasu. Aren't they basically the same thing though, de arimasu? Conquering and invading?

[Video]

[proudambassador]

Perhaps, perhaps. Sometimes, there are troops on the ground, and sometimes, we fire from space. The space, it is most effective, no? And less Centauri lives are lost.

[Video]

[starfruitfrog]

Ah. You're one of those old-fashioned invader types then, de arimasu. Your method is kind of outdated though, you know.

[Video]

[proudambassador]

It is effective. Nothing is outdated so long as it works well, hm?

[Video]

[starfruitfrog]

It isn't outdated because it isn't effective, de arimasu. It's outdated because no self-respecting invader shoots at the planet they're trying to invade from space, de arimasu.

[Video]

[proudambassador]

What, they let themselves lose lives by leading with ground troops? That, it is wasteful and foolish.

[Video]

[starfruitfrog]

No. There are more ways than just going with ground troops, de arimasu. Invasion is about defeating them so completely that they have no choice but to willingly submit, de arimasu. Killing Pekoponians won't make them submit, it'll just make them fight back harder, de arimasu.

Re: [Video]

[proudambassador]

It is not the humans we fight, though. They have nothing we want and we have no conflict with them. In fact, they tend to make us money.

But let us act like my people were interested in taking down the... Pekoponians, yes? What is it that you do to defeat them that completely?