March 17th: We Are Stardust, We Are Golden, and Whatever Impresses Hippie Chicks [Text]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Good morning, Death City! Somewhere out there, I know that there's a special lady who combines these attributes in one flawless package.

1. Good in bed
2. Great in bed
3. Spectacular in bed
4. Searching for all of the above in a sexy love torpedo named Barney Stinson!

Ladies, especially Weapon ladies, send in your replies before they start pouring in too fast for me to keep track of.

Dudes. Dudes. Cock block at your own risk. Because I will make fun of you if you post here. It will be ruthless, cruel, dirty low-down mockery. You've been warned, gentlemen.

Comments

[Video]

[splinterstrider]

[Behind his glasses, one of Dirk's eyebrows quirks upward. He pauses for a second, clears his throat, and then...]

You smack talking my eyewear? Bro, you better beware.
'Cause you're gonna get mangled, if you try to step up to these triangles.
Rhyming balls with balls, that's so amateur, you'd better wait until your rap matures.
Who am I kidding, I don't have a clue about this fucking guy, so all I can talk about is his ugly-ass tie.
Trying to catch ladies with your comm, but you're not even ready for your close-up. Next time you make a post, first you'd better SUIT UP.

[Video]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Oh, snap! Look who got his mom to buy him a rap CD!
Of course, only after she'd been over to see ME.
She asked my advice, champ, and I said it might aid
Your self-esteem, along with those goofy-ass shades.

Now it's super cute that you think you're so cool,
But me and your mom both know you've been schooled.