March 17th: We Are Stardust, We Are Golden, and Whatever Impresses Hippie Chicks [Text]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Good morning, Death City! Somewhere out there, I know that there's a special lady who combines these attributes in one flawless package.

1. Good in bed
2. Great in bed
3. Spectacular in bed
4. Searching for all of the above in a sexy love torpedo named Barney Stinson!

Ladies, especially Weapon ladies, send in your replies before they start pouring in too fast for me to keep track of.

Dudes. Dudes. Cock block at your own risk. Because I will make fun of you if you post here. It will be ruthless, cruel, dirty low-down mockery. You've been warned, gentlemen.

Comments

[video ]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

[...wow. OK, Barney did not expect this to be such an area of contention.]

Uh. Look, if it's that sensitive, couldn't you dye it? I'll even help you, if you want.

[video ]

[perfectorder]

[no one ever does. it's like a well hidden land mine...but it's slowly being diffused? slowly. ...very slowly.]

I tried every single hair product available, but it won't be of any use. Due to my body's resistance to chemicals, it has no effect whatsoever.

[video ]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Resistance to chemicals? Sorry, bro. I mean... I guess it doesn't look that bad.

[Attempting damage control here. Barney's a decent bully, but like most people who were bullied themselves, his heart just isn't fully in it when he gets a certain subdued reaction.]

[video ]

[perfectorder]

It's both a blessing and a curse as a shinigami. And I beg to differ but I'd rather not stay on this topic longer than necessary.

[he already feels that "itch" to just sob but now is not the time! must...must resist!! it's hard man.]

[video ]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Got it.

But...bro, if you take teasing that hard, you probably shouldn't invite it, know what I mean?

[video ]

[perfectorder]

How was I inviting it?

[video ]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

I pretty much promised that I'd make fun of any guys who posted.

[ video ]

[perfectorder]

[opens his mouth to say something—only to realize that yes he was right. he did.]

All right, I concede. And congratulations you did just that.

[slight sarcasm.]

Regardless, I wasn't going to just ignore this despite it. You realize there are minors here and those who would have no idea what you're alluding to.

[Tsubaki. Tsubaki. why. why. at least Liz helped up there.]

[ video ]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Don't worry, little man. I'm not looking to hook up with minors. Orange jumpsuits aren't exactly flattering on me.

[ video ]

[perfectorder]

[just. sighs.]

I just hope you seriously aren't trying to find a Weapon this way.

[and that no one. falls for it.]

[ video ]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

I'm not joking, if that's what you mean. I really want to find a Weapon, and after a few people made some very valid points, I'm even willing to consider a dude.

He needs to be a good wingman, though.

[ video ]

[perfectorder]

[.......all right he has to admit he's curious on what those points were to make this guy think that but hey! so long as he's not tricking all the women out there.

...but seriously—]

...Good luck with that.

[he. had no idea what else to say, okay.]