soul_campaign | 001 ☠ Warmouth [march 23, early evening, text+ voice]

alright befoar anyone gets any funny ideas aboat this post
this is M--EENAH PEIXES BEAC)(ES accept no imitations posers or wannabes
now that thats outta the way i got a couple of questions what need answerin
so bearracuda with me here theyre kinda important
first off whats a gill gotta do to rack up the cash in this place
crack a few of these witch suckas across the face and tell em to cut their carp or somefin
cause thats somefin i can totally do
second off i hope you aint conchsiderin sticking royalty in those stupid little blocks that pass for hives during that tour
thats unconchonable and fuckin rude among otter things so somemoby betta get to fixin that reel fast
and third and most important
this stupid brew thing aint seain fit to let a gill keep her swag
so im gonna be needing a replacement 2x3dent SCHOON--ER rather than LAT--ER
so yeah
if you sea fit to be of any kinda fuckin kelp with any of that pipe up
otterwise keep movin i aint got time to schoolfeed any wimps with dumb questions

[voice]

[And if you happen to have your mirror on, then you'll likely want to cover your ears, because what is volume control?]

Hey! HEY SEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEET! I know you're here you silly expositionin' fairy dame! WHERE ARE YA?! You know what kinda carp I've been having to eel with just to get some info on where you are? You betta come pick me up befoar I start hurling motherglubbers off these stairs for fun and profit!

translation

alright, before anyone gets any funny ideas about this post
this is Meenah Peixes bitches, accept no imitations, posers or wannabes
now that that's outta the way I got a couple of questions what need answering
so bear with me here they're kinda important
first off whats a gill gotta do to rack up the cash in this place
crack a few of these witch suckers across the face and tell em to cut their carp or something
cause that's something i can totally do
second off i hope you ain't considering sticking royalty in those stupid little blocks that pass for hives during that tour
that's unconscionable and fucking rude among other things so somebody better get to fixing that real fast
and third and most important
this stupid brew thing ain't seeing fit to let a gill keep her swag
so I'm gonna be needing a replacement 2x3dent SOONER rather than LATER
so yeah
if you see fit to be of any kinda fucking help with any of that pipe up
otherwise keep moving i ain't got time to schoolfeed any wimps with dumb questions

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Haha, wow. Talking dragon. Ain't ebber seen one of you befoar.

[Dragons, yes. Talking ones? Nope.

Her amusement quickly gives way to irritation though, and she rolls her eyes.]

Look, I ain't actually all aboat usin' it to fight. But it's kind of a big deal to me and takin' it awave is reel fuckin' rude of these jerks, espeshoally if they're expecting me to fight anyfin or anymoby.

[He shakes his head]

Most everyone has something taken away from them, and the general consensus is that it is usually weapons and any extraordinary ability. In turn, we're changed into Meisters of Weapons. It is better to fight a witch with a partnered Weapon than with some other man-made item, for it seems that it is not as efficient.

For example, I was made smaller than I would normally be, that's what BREW did to me, as I had no other 'weapons' aside from what I am.

[Frowning so intensely.]

Aww man they went and took all my fuckin' powers too okay now that's just a complete load a carp! That's so backwards I can't handle it. It's un-fucking-handled, that's what it is. What's the point if I can't just own beaches the way I ushoally can?

BREW is the great equalizer, I am afraid, for everyone is made the same in this world, more or less. We are either Meisters or Weapons, and we are all supposed to work together with that which we have been given in this world.

For your loss of powers, I am sorry, but that is the way of BREW. It is best to attempt to live within your new means, and learn how your new abilities can help you in this world.

More like great pain in the bass. Seems kinda counter-poductive to me.

I hope somemoby is plannin' to explain how we're just supposed to FIGURE OUT what kinda new powers we got. I mean I saw aboat the people who are weapons and the fuckin' stairs, but water the rest of us supposed ta do?

[Huff!]

It is what I have said many times before, but it does not change the fact that it is what happens to everyone once they are brought here.

For that, there is morning training, and everyone can go there to learn how to wield a weapon, or transform into one. It is very helpful indeed.

So in otter words, I gotta go deal with the rest of the suckerfish who all got keelhauled in by that stupid brew thing if I wanna get anyfin done?

Edited 2012-09-18 04:54 (UTC)

[The puns, he appreciates them~ It is interesting to see such interesting word-play even when she's meaning to have a good conversation with someone.]

Yes, that aboat sums up exactly what it means.

[A small try for him at such pun-play, but it feels odd. Exciting in a certain way, but still odd.]

It is not all bad, as everyone is 'ushoally' rather kind and willing to help out. You should join us in the morning training session, and I am sure you will learn everything in due time.

[It takes her a second to realize what he's doing- and then she cackles gleefully, rocking back on her heels a little.]

Not bad for a rookie, dragon guy. Gotta work on your timin' some though.

[Says the girl who thinks 'lobstervations' is a perfectly valid pun.]

What's this mornin' trainin' stuff all aboat anywave? Couldn't you have it sometime when the sun ain't up? Some of us are nocturnal you know. Rude.

It was my first attempt at doing so. I think if I can practise, I shoal get better as time goes along.

[With that, he'll stop it with the puns, and shall get to a more serious matter.]

Mm, since you are a troll, I think I can only help direct you towards a certain troll named Karkat. He is a respected figure in this city, and a fellow Zone Leader.

I am sure Karkat will do his best to help you.

Awwww yeah, one more for the fish puns.

[She is so gleeful about this fact, you don't understand.]

What, you mean Grumpy McNubhorns? Yeah, I know the kid. What's he the leader of, exactly?

[No, he doesn't, but it is interesting word-play. He'll keep it up just with her, perhaps.]

As part of the City's Watch, we Zone Leaders are in charge of a district and maintain order alongside our subordinates. If I remember correctly, he is in charge of the Financial district. I am in charge of the Entertainment and Red Light district.

[Odd profession to have, he's sure. He's gotten looks before.]

So that is what Karkat is the "leader of."

[Still enjoyable, 38D]

Oh, so it's kinda like keepin' an eye on the whole plaice, huh? Wouldn't figure nubby for the type, reely.

[She shrugs- she's heard weirder.]

But yeah, yeah- I sea. Maybe I'll try and catch up with Shouty soon then.

And yet he does work in that capacity. This world changes us in ways we do not expect, Ms. Peixes. I do hope that he will be able to help you.

With that said, I bid you good luck in your future endeavours, and may you find yourself comfortable enough in what Death City can provide for you.

Mebbe, mebbe not. Either wave, I need to find Nubby anyhow. We had a reel important talk goin' befoar I got hauled outta the dreambubble.

Yeah thanks dragonguy. I'll sea you at that trainin' thing or somefin.

001 ☠ Warmouth [march 23, early evening, text+ voice]

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