soul_campaign | April 8th

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April 8th | Text

I've been thinking, lately, about something I experienced back in the place where I was born..

If you could meet yourself as a child…

Would she/he be proud of you?

What kind of excuse would you say to excuse the things you've done or the person you've become?

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I'm not so sure. She adored all the people I've grown jaded and disenchanted with and practically held them as heroes of their own rights. The fact that they're gone and the fact that I was traveling outside the dome with someone like Vincent Law... might be an overload to say the least.

Is it even possible to not regret anything?

Honestly? Not really. Even I have one or two. But I recognise that it's a waste of time to regret anything. More useless than wishing, because it's wishing to change something already in the past.

You don't think your younger self would be impressed that you struck out on your own?

Hm, I wonder if that would hold true in all of these other worlds people here come from. Some may have the power to change the past, should they really want to...

No. She was highly dependent and trusting of those around her for no reason. Of course, she didn't know the things I'd found, by the end of it all, so I suppose I can't blame her. Childhood naiveté, and all of that.

It wouldn't be a waste of time if you could actually do something about it. But that would be cheating. It's not a power humans should have.

All kids think the world they know is the only one that exists. I was that way too once, believe it or not.

Oh? You're saying you wouldn't change things if you were given the opportunity in retrospect?

As you said - all children think the world they know if the only one to exist. I don't believe most people are born without that childhood 'trust' in other people.

I might, but that's a tricky question. What if changing one thing would change the entire outcome?

Some people lose that trust early. Have I told you how I lost mine?

I'm on a cocktail of painkillers, I apologise unilaterally if I repeat myself or don't make sense.

Generally in the idea of changing one thing in a past event it means the entire timeline experiences the ripple too, whether it's a good effect or a negative one. But really, in the context of where I'm from, there isn't a favorable end that I've come to see considering our current condition - so changing something would ultimately mean the same dismal trek from place to place.

I don't believe so.

But perhaps you shouldn't tell me if you're so indisposed.

It depends on how far back you can go. Logically, if you can travel backwards at all, you can reach any point before your current position in time. Then it becomes a question of how big the ripples will get.

I'm not impaired, just slower than usual.

My parents died when I was five. That's when I realized the universe wasn't going to give a fuck about me unless I made it.

Theoretically of course. Whatever is chosen to change may also cause absolutely nothing, in the span of things. There are just some events that may be inevitable, even if the time of their happening is shifted by a few hours or weeks.

That may be your opinion on the matter, but that's why the patient is typically not trusted.

So you struck out on your own with a purpose, I suppose?

That's when a purpose found me. Not even I think I could have taken on the whole world before I was even ten.

I had to be at least fourteen before trying that.

I don't believe in fate. Nothing's inevitable. Especially not if you know it's coming.

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