soul_campaign | April 8th

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April 8th | Text

I've been thinking, lately, about something I experienced back in the place where I was born..

If you could meet yourself as a child…

Would she/he be proud of you?

What kind of excuse would you say to excuse the things you've done or the person you've become?

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i dont know i sure hope so.............

[ As he clicks send, he faintly chuckles. It's not something he's thought about before. Normally Taiyou only looked ahead. ]

at the least|

i can say i've made a lot of friends and done things i didn't think i could but now you have me wondering if he dreamed much much bigger

What you propose is an interesting concept.

[He fell quiet for a moment while he considered all the trials he'd undertaken in the centuries he'd been alive.]

I have only ever fought and acted with the thoughts of Aiur and my people in mind. While there are acts that I would do differently if I held the same knowledge that I have now, I do not look back on my actions and see them in a light that I am not proud with. I believe that it would be the same for any younger version of myself that I met.

[Even if it would take time for his younger self to accept the fact that he had formed a bond with, and called the Nerazim his brothers and sisters.]

[ already done it. ]

How philosophical.

She would not understand, no. Only with time. She was quite naive, after all.

You're asking me to go back very far, here... [how many times had he even been a child by now? hundreds? he's lost track of all the life cycles.]

... I have few regrets.

He definitively would.

If she would be proud of me or not, I don't think it matters.

But though not everything in my life is perfect, I still think I'm a good person.

[Edgeworth finds himself staring at Re-l's transmission for far longer than he thought he would. He finds himself, for just one moment, instead of also gazing at his reflection in the communicator as well as the text, gazing at a young nine-year-old boy wearing a red bow tie and a little child-sized gray jacket.

What would that boy think of him now? A young boy whose dream was to become a defense attorney, looking up at his adult self, a prosecutor...what could Edgeworth say to young Miles?

What could he say to this question?]

That may and will depend on the age of one's young self he or she would be hypothetically facing.

[...yup.]

Edited 2012-11-17 15:11 (UTC)

Children do tend to dream far past their means at times.

Still, it is something your mind can wander on for long periods of time.

It's good, then, that you've managed to live within ways that you would accept, hopefully. I just wonder if our child selves would be able to fully understand the situations that some with... adulthood or.. growing up as you might be able to term growing older in age. After all, priorities change, any number of things can change in the period of a life time that a child wouldn't even dare to think about for fear of change or losing people that they know or love.

[ She hums, slightly, in thought. ] I don't think my childhood self would have ever thought about living outside of the dome.

I think my childhood self would be the same. She was... very naive, and quite willing to think the very best of everyone without any reasoning behind it. It's strange to think back to, even today.

Not all of us have such long lifetimes. [ But there's a small smirk of an interested expression there, waiting for him to back track as far as he needed. After all, they'd had interesting discussions about these kinds of things before. ]

Mmn - but do you think your child self would approve of who you are now?

Then you're one of the few, I think. It's not necessarily a bad thing.

That may be a more pragmatic way to view it, really. between childhood and adulthood many changes happen that children tend not to think of, after all.

Still, it's interesting to think on at least.

I was thinking on.. not someone who is young enough to not grasp that things happen that aren't necessarily what we approve of. Nine or ten years old, maybe. Old enough to understand that life isn't always an easy thing.

I think if we do this exercise the other way around - if we would be proud of ourselves in few years - I'd always give my "future self" the benefit of doubt. Because I have no yet lived it, I won't be able to tell if I would be right to do it or not.

Personally, as long you are proud of yourself in the present, it counts the most.

Oh, c'mon, really? I'm not perfect and I may have done dumb things, but I'm everything I wanted to be when I was a kid. [ nerd, self-proclaimed bad-ass, gamer, loner who spends his days playing games. There is nothing else Matt would ask for ]

Some people don't self-determine so neatly. Others get blown off course, so to speak, but circumstances, so.

That would be my way of thought as well. Focusing on the past while pushing toward the future doesn't make much sense, really. But others like to dwell on past thoughts, and I find it entertaining at least.

Sure. And not everyone had awesome dreams they could actually achieve, when they were kids. [ matt's dream is clearly the best ]

He would be terrified.

You should be the one proud that you are no longer like that.

Regardless of what I have done, I would not change it for it all was necessary. Whether they would be able to understand it or not would not change any of my decisions that I have made throughout my life. As you said, priorities do change, and we must adapt to our situation if we are to continue to fight through life and protect that which is important to us.

There is much that our child-selves would never have imagined that we have experienced, but that just makes those experiences far more important because they are what help shape us into what we are.

Dwelling can be dangerous, though. When we do, we drown in it, and we forget there is still more to come. Obsessed with the past, we forget there is still the present and the future then won't come.

Mmn... I wouldn't have minded a small bit of that positive attitude back, really.

Terrified? Of your situation or what you have become?

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