soul_campaign | Entry #A-19: "Antivivisectionist" [April 16, Text, Locked to Matt, Mello, and Near]

Do I want to know your test conditions?

Let's just say I'm sure, and that's what matters.

Does he know the piece is gone?

The edge where I creased and tore it was clean enough that I doubt I'd be able to notice.

[Yep, you read that right: L didn't take the entire scrap, though it would have amounted to an instant checkmate. To do so would jeopardize the coveted status quo he seems intent on preserving as long as possible, the one where he and Light are still fighting while pretending to be friends.]

I was on top of a tree in the middle of the desert when I secured it, so... not bad, considering.

[Mello switches to voice, easier for a topic as delicate as this.

More than that, he's going to blurt this out anyway.]

You left him some of it?

[L also switches, and he's using his Calm Voice.]

Of course. To remove it entirely would be to remove his sense of security. And then things would change. Probably not for the better.

Right. You're right, of course.

[Mello doesn't like the way things are, but, given the for-now immutable fact that Yagami's in Death City at all, he can easily see how they could be much worse.

This means Yagami knows someone took part of the scrap, and almost definitely knows who. But L would've considered that before acting.]

But does he know it doesn't work?

No.

It will make for a stunning reveal when the time comes.

What do you think? You always had that flair for the dramatic... and you have more cause than most to want to see his masterstroke bury him.

I don't know what he wants here.

[Yagami's been reacting instead of acting. Mello can hazard some guesses about the bastard's ultimate goals within Death City, but they'd be pure speculation at this point. Except for the part where he wants L dead.

Besides, L's talking about endgame, and Mello feels sure the detective doesn't actually want that. Not yet. And as much as he'd love to see Yagami go down, neither does he.]

Given that forcing him into a position where he'd feel he has to use it would almost definitely mean your life is in danger, I can't say I'm in a hurry to see things come to that.

I know him.

[And there's just a slight edge there, because really, L knows Light far better than he'd ever admit to wanting.]

To be outed by attempting to write a name on that scrap would expose his fears as well as his identity. I've confirmed that the scrap doesn't work... and I am confident that a self-proclaimed God wouldn't stoop to taking a life with his hands. His personal mythology, everything that Kira is, doesn't allow for it.

[Even if it allows for other things.]

He tried to write Near's name, in our world.

[But that was after being exposed as Kira, when he had nothing left to lose, a situation they couldn't replicate in Death City even if they wanted to. Still, Mello feels it ought to be pointed out.]

You're the one he'll take it out on here, if he feels cornered.

[L wouldn't be the author of Light's discontent, but Mello's sure someone as incapable of blaming himself as Yagami is wouldn't hesitate to imagine L at the center of a conspiracy to make his life as difficult as possible. In reality, Mello would probably be the one more likely to do that, if L gave him free rein.]

I'm aware that he was one letter away from succeeding, but that won't happen here. The two of you are safe, where Light Yagami is concerned. I'm not saying that you should put it from your minds, but you're right, he'll take it out on me.

There's no other way I'd have it, Mello.

[It's not the way I'd have it, Mello thinks, but he knows arguing with L will make them both of them angry, and more to the point, won't change anything. Whether L's more stubborn than Mello is debatable, but Mello wouldn't want to push him hard enough to get a definitive answer to that.]

I know. Just. If you need anything, ask.

What do you think I'd need, Mello?

I don't know.

I do know you want to handle this yourself. Don't feel like you have to.

I understand the difference between "want" and "need".

They... seldom have much to do with each other. Do they.

They do for me.

[If this weren't L, and Mello weren't Mello, he'd probably say something like, I care about you, and it's hard for me to sit idly by while you put yourself in danger. Even if--hell, especially if--part of why he's doing it is to protect Mello, Near, and Matt.

But he's sure another part of why he's doing it is that L feels about Yagami the same sort of possessiveness Mello used to feel for Near, which has shifted into something slightly more benign in Death City for Mello, but not for L, and that anyone but him beating Yagami would be intolerable to L. Which is impossible to do anything but allude to, deeply personal as it is.]

You're not the only one who wants to see him go down. You were the first, and I know that, and that's why I'm staying out. It's your right to say you get to be the one to do it.

But I will kill him if he hurts you again.

He can't hurt me.

[Despite what you may have heard or guessed goes unsaid.]

And you can't say that. I want to see him cut down to size and imprisoned here, not killed.

And I need to do it myself. Soon. But you can be there when it happens. In fact, I would prefer it.

Edited 2012-12-27 05:12 (UTC)

[Mello very much doubts that appeasing him figured into whatever L's planning, but he's sure the detective assumed, rightly, that he's willing to forego the pleasure of killing Yagami himself to be a witness to his downfall.]

All right.

Just tell me when and where, when you're ready.

[Mello's made his point that all L has to do is ask for his assistance (a point he concedes didn't really need to be made, though he felt L might have needed reminding of it). It's a hard line to walk for them; any offer of help can feel to a Wammy's alum like calling his abilities into question.]

Tuesday evening. 7:00 PM. My apartment.

Bring Near with you. We're going to plan this to perfection, and set it in motion as early as Wednesday.

We'll be there.

[ It's not a surprising result, really. ]

At least that is out of the way. Are we supposed to know how did you test it? [ Matt will guess "no" ]

That's not important. None of you were in danger, if that's what you're asking.

I didn't assume we were. More like, if you are.

At the moment, no, I am not in danger. How kind of you to check.

You know me. Kindness is my forte.

I admit, dry humor and sarcasm were tendencies I hadn't been previously aware of.

I am a man of many talents. I admit Mello's humor tendencies may have rubbed off on me.

Maybe someday I'll be allowed the privilege of seeing that side of him, too.

You are getting there. You have seen him drunk, after all.

And he's seen me drunk, so we are even, in that regard. Not that I would waste any sentiment regarding the incident on useless regret.

Is it that bad getting drunk, really?

It depends on who you are, what you value, and what you fear. It's a liability when there are people around who would take advantage of one's vulnerability, in short.

But you shouldn't be drinking with those people in first place.

Potentially, "those people" could be anyone, which is why I typically don't make a habit of drinking at all.

[Well, at least that's over and done with. He's curious about how L tested it, of course, but he knows the older man won't give him that information. Time for a different approach.]

Does he know you tested it?

No, he doesn't. He will know when I decide I want him to. Probably when he attempts to use the scrap I left him...

Entry #A-19: "Antivivisectionist" [April 16, Text, Locked to Matt, Mello, and Near]

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[text, private] fml I didn't hit 'post comment'..... sob

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