Entry #B-1: "B" [April 28, Text]

[dead_black_eyes]

I have a friend who needs a minor dental procedure. It seems that one of his back teeth is very sore and is darker in color than it should be.

He's never been to the dentist before, and so a good, and fast, recommendation would be much appreciated.

Comments

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

[[He's pretty sure that this 'friend' would be the individual making the post, but he'll keep that quiet for now...]]

I think there's two dentists in the city. Call them both and see which has an earlier opening time.

Does your friend want someone to go with him when he goes?

[Text]

[dead_black_eyes]

You call them.

Can we get cake afterward?

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

[[Yeeeeah that's about what he expected.]]

If it'll be all right to do so after.

Who should I tell them I'm making the appointment for?

[Text]

[dead_black_eyes]

Lazarus Snow.

Why wouldn't it be all right, after?

[silicomb]

just kn0ck it out.




wh0 the hell lets some0ne else lo0k inside their mealgaper anyway?

[Text]

[dead_black_eyes]

I have no idea. But pain is a powerful motivator, perhaps...

[Text]

[silicomb]

maybe.
but seri0usly.
tie a string around the grinder in questi0n, attach string to d0or.
if that's n0t possible, g0 and buy a pair of pliers.

[text/private]

[thehonking]

i can yank it out for a brother if he wants.

[text/private]

[dead_black_eyes]

It's a kind offer... but if I lost a back tooth, I'd have trouble eating jawbreakers for the rest of my life.

[text/private]

[thehonking]

WON'T IT JUST GROW ALL THE MOTHERFUCK BACK?

[seadweller]

Just pull it out!
Quick and fast!

[dead_black_eyes]

You're the seacond troll to suggest that. Please try to undersand that for humans, it's conchsidered a last resort.

[seadweller]

[Yay puns]

I was just trying to kelp out!
For trolls, teet)( usually grow back so it's no big deal. Is it not t)(e same for )(umans?

[ text; ]

[this_is_keron]

These kinds of things are never minor. The threat must be neutralized as soon as possible.

What your friend needs isn't a dentist. What he needs is a small space cruiser, a machine to shrink it and a bomb in case the expedition fails.

[ text; ]

[dead_black_eyes]

It's not that that isn't precious, but stop, please. I am entirely serious.

[ text; ]

[this_is_keron]

So am I.

Death City isn't equipped to handle a full scale alien invasion. We need to nip this threat at the bud before it spreads!

[text]

[starfruitfrog]

Where have they been quarantined?

[text]

[dead_black_eyes]

The moon, of course.

[text]

[starfruitfrog]

The farther from civilization the better huh? Must be an exceptionally strong type of Caries!

text;

[soulsutures]

You know, if your friend knew how to brush, floss and use mouthwash then they wouldn't be having that problem in the first place.

text;

[dead_black_eyes]

That's an unfair and rude assumption.

He does at least 33% of those things.

text;

[soulsutures]

Which is more likely to come out as more effective, 33% or 100%? And if you take into consideration the number of sweets this friend may consume, 33% wouldn't be nearly enough. If it were, they wouldn't be having this problem in the first place.

[text/private] Because Yamazaki thinks L is "Kira"

[anpan_tan]

I doubt you have any friends aside of that notebook of yours. And I doubt notebooks have teeth. Not even in your world. So it's you whose tooth is aching.

This is your punishment for your evil deeds. You'll be tortured and tortured by the dentist until you'll beg for mercy and then they'll just laugh at you and torture you more! You'll suffer all the pain in hell, and more!

[text/private]

[dead_black_eyes]

[There's a brief delay before L replies. Forgive him, he's just a bit stunned.]

First of all, the notebook, and pieces of it, do not work here. I personally confirmed this by writing my own name on a scrap.

Secondly, if you ever do encounter the notebook killer, this approach won't end well for you. Reconsider it.

[text/private]

[anpan_tan]

We've met a few days before in a church. You did write a name on a scrap, but can you prove that it was your name?