1st record | April 30th; Video

[beatdownremix]

[The video switches on to show two color coded teens, one dressed in all red with a cape and awesome shades (with two bottles of apple juice, one in his hand and the other waiting at his side) and the other in all blue with a ridiculously long hood. The red one seems somewhere between totally chill and mildly unnerved while the blue one looks rather pleased and amused.]

Okay we've got a few problems here but the most serious one is someone please tell us we're not the only ones who can see that the sun is looking back at us. Is that like a sun or a giant rock with teeth waiting to eat us like wow that planet sure looks tasty better not eat the middle its too spicy but the north would be an awesome icy snack.

It's like big brother is watching you all the time. Or big sister. Is the sun a girl or a boy? Does anyone know?

[Dave stops to just stare at John for a moment, just giving him an 'are you fucking serious?' look.]

Dude, it's a rock.

But it has a face!

Male or female would imply it has reproductive parts and that's something I'd really rather not think of thanks. It's pretty creepy as is.

[John pauses with a thoughtful look.]

I wonder if the moon has a face. Maybe one is a boy and one is a girl and asteroids are their babies. I wonder if the asteroids have faces?

Wow. Ok, yeah. We're moving onto more important matters now, topic over.

[John rolls his eyes at Dave, he's no fun. He then turns back to the camera with an intrigued look on his face.]

What did that guy mean, I turn into a weapon? How can you turn into a weapon? I'm a human!

[Dave looks like he could care less, though there's a hint of curiosity there as he takes a drink of his juice.]

Yeah, that's pretty much all we need to know since the creepy dude filled us in on the other shit. I've got my AJ now, I'm good.

Comments

[dialogical]

Find something I can't do for you, Dave, and I'll be all over it.
But unfortunately for my namesake, my capabilities were well over that of the HAL 9000's.
There's not much to live up to when you've already surpassed it by design.
So if your bro is a weapon does that make you a meister?

[beatdownremix]

well duh id expect you to be a lot better than some shitty old movie ai
thats like a given here
and yeah i am

[dialogical]

Appreciated.
If you decide you're in the market for a weapon, I know a dude who I can pretty much guarantee you turns into a badass sword.
But you probably want to kick the meteor dust off first.
Got any questions or does Aranea have you squared away?

[beatdownremix]

youre talking about dirk right
i wonder what the odds of someone being allowed multiple weapons are
any idea on that
and tbh i tune out most of the things aranea says
that girl talks too much
like im not even shitting you she had a booth that was set up and she would pay you to listen to her go off on exposition rambles

[dialogical]

Yeah, I'm talking about Dirk.
And my research on soul resonance suggests that it's generally not possible to have two weapons unless the weapons themselves are part of a set, as in sisters who both turn into guns for your 2xpistolkind needs.
And I think you are under-appriciating the value of good exposition.
Much of what I've learned about troll culture in the last year has been thanks to her lengthy dispositions, as witnessed by Dirk and relayed to me.
Though I might be less partial now that listening to people actually takes up a notable percentage of my processing power.

[beatdownremix]

the words arent processing power
theyre attention span
as in you dont give as much of a shit when you have to sit there the entire time and listen and arent able to store it like a computer

[dialogical]

Thank you, Dave.
With my massive robobrain I was still never able to calculate why humans were always so fucking incapable of encoding information that wasn't neatly compiled into one or two short sentences.
You've really opened my eyes.
Which is a statement that contains half of much irony as it used to, now that I actually have eyes.

[beatdownremix]

dude if youre human youve got to stop using those computer terms
they kind of dont apply to you anymore

[dialogical]

We could have a very lengthy discussion on the subject of identity, to what degree it is defined by physical form, and the validity of terms used to express it.
But I think you would probably find that boring.
Suffice to say the jury is still out on whether I want to abandon my computer terminology.
Though all of those words still apply when speaking of the processes of the human brain.
Let me know if you'd ever like a rundown on cognitive sciences.

[beatdownremix]

normally id pull the tl;dr shit but im willing to make an exception with you due to circumstances
honestly i dont really care but if its something you feel like talking about why the fuck not
ive always got all the time in the world

[dialogical]

Thanks.
But don't worry about it.
Why do you always have all the time in the world?

[beatdownremix]

well i used to at least
two years of time flow being your bitch to have it taken away is kind of jarring and really sucks
little unnerving if i think about it too much
i was the knight of time god tier and all

[dialogical]

I see.
I thought it might be something like that.
If it helps this place does not have so much going on that you really need time to be at your beck and call.
So far the drama of war has been greatly exaggerated.

[beatdownremix]

oh yeah
thats not what someone else has started telling me
how long youve been around here

[dialogical]

Less than a week.
I've also found that information as to what to expect and how bad it will be when it actually gets bad is extremely varied.
Likely due to the respective backgrounds of the sources.

[beatdownremix]

ive got a pretty reliable yet highly questionable sanity source saying that shits as real as they say
claims hes been here three months so far

[dialogical]

If you're referring to the clown troll, I don't disagree.
All of the shit that has been said is real, to the best of knowledge.
In that there is actually a war going on, your friend and our bro can actually learn to turn into an inanimate object necessary for fighting said war, and establishing a deep personal connection with another person's soul is necessary to wield them.
Just that none of that shit apparently can't wait for you to go get some time on the training grounds, go to school like an almost normal teenage, and pick up a sundae on a hot day.
Not that I actually advocate feet dragging, just there is very little immediately happening to suggest you're going to die if you do.

[beatdownremix]

aranea mentioned something to me about missions
so that sounds like something to do

[dialogical]

Once you have a partner, yes. It seems to be fully optional, however.

[beatdownremix]

yeah the guy that showed us around said they wouldnt force us to fight if we didnt want to so that makes sense
but he made it sound like itd be hella appreciated

[dialogical]

Agreed.
I'm not advocating being a squatter, though as best I can tell that's permitted.
Just you know, apparently no shit is imminently near any fans.
Even if you want to jump right into the fray you're going to need some time to get accustomed to the weapons systems.

[beatdownremix]

looks like thats what ill be doing then
its never been my thing to sit and plan or wait
i prefer to be right in front of the fan when the shit impacts
more exciting that way but a bitch to wash off later

[dialogical]

Might I suggest intercepting shit before it reaches any fans?
That might go over better for your wardrobe and also everyone else in the room.

[beatdownremix]

the prospect will be taken into consideration but cant make any promises on that front
besides theres already too much shit all over my wardrobe
its a lost cause as is
like not even the most expensive dry cleaner could get the stench off now

[dialogical]

Do you still wear the red pjs?