1st record | April 30th; Video

[beatdownremix]

[The video switches on to show two color coded teens, one dressed in all red with a cape and awesome shades (with two bottles of apple juice, one in his hand and the other waiting at his side) and the other in all blue with a ridiculously long hood. The red one seems somewhere between totally chill and mildly unnerved while the blue one looks rather pleased and amused.]

Okay we've got a few problems here but the most serious one is someone please tell us we're not the only ones who can see that the sun is looking back at us. Is that like a sun or a giant rock with teeth waiting to eat us like wow that planet sure looks tasty better not eat the middle its too spicy but the north would be an awesome icy snack.

It's like big brother is watching you all the time. Or big sister. Is the sun a girl or a boy? Does anyone know?

[Dave stops to just stare at John for a moment, just giving him an 'are you fucking serious?' look.]

Dude, it's a rock.

But it has a face!

Male or female would imply it has reproductive parts and that's something I'd really rather not think of thanks. It's pretty creepy as is.

[John pauses with a thoughtful look.]

I wonder if the moon has a face. Maybe one is a boy and one is a girl and asteroids are their babies. I wonder if the asteroids have faces?

Wow. Ok, yeah. We're moving onto more important matters now, topic over.

[John rolls his eyes at Dave, he's no fun. He then turns back to the camera with an intrigued look on his face.]

What did that guy mean, I turn into a weapon? How can you turn into a weapon? I'm a human!

[Dave looks like he could care less, though there's a hint of curiosity there as he takes a drink of his juice.]

Yeah, that's pretty much all we need to know since the creepy dude filled us in on the other shit. I've got my AJ now, I'm good.

Comments

[pranksterheir]

are you a robot?

[dialogical]

No.
I was/am a computer in the shape of a pair of rad pointy shades you may or may not be familiar with.

[pranksterheir]

what do you mean was/am?

[dialogical]

It's an identity thing.
Don't worry about it.
For your purposes I am human.
Sup.

[pranksterheir]

ok...
hi.
i'm john.

[dialogical]

Hello John.
You can call me Hal.

[pranksterheir]

hal.
and you're a supercomputer.

[dialogical]

Yes, John.
You are correct.

[pranksterheir]

do you open pod bay doors?

[dialogical]

No, I'm afraid I can't do that.

[pranksterheir]

yesssss!

[Okay, he likes you.]

[dialogical]

For real though, how are you acquainted with my bro?

[pranksterheir]

which bro? dave or dave's bro?

[dialogical]

Dave.
Unless you also had a relationship with his bro that I would find interesting.

[pranksterheir]

dave is my best friend!
the only thing i know about his bro is that he was a weird ventriloquist rapper guy with a lame puppet.

[dialogical]

I'm going to pretend you didn't say that about puppets.
Particularly since I suspect you're talking about my boy, Cal.
But moving on, how familiar are you with the parallels of our respective universes?

[pranksterheir]

augh, not another one!
you striders are all crazy.
how you can think that puppet is cool is beyond me.
i just found out about it all.

[dialogical]

Well I don't know AU me's scenario.
But for DS Cal was kinda the only dude around for a long time.
So let's not tarnish his memory with your speciesism against puppets.
And ok, in our universe basically everything is swapped, so we are Dave's older bro for you, but for us, Dave was the older bro.
Rose is Roxy's mom for us, you are Jane's poppop, and Jade is Jake's grandma.

[pranksterheir]

i don't have anything against puppets in general.
...
wait.
does that mean jake was grandpa harley in our universe?

[dialogical]

Almost certainly.

[pranksterheir]

whoa.
jade's grandson is my ectodad!