soul_campaign | [Text] 8th May

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[Text] 8th May

we gots ta krill shibusens bassholes anemones
but we cant krill our own
shits unfair yo

[ Private to: JOHN EGBERT ]
yo heir
wat last fin you rememba befo comin here

[ Private to: STEIN ]
bathtubs drain is clogged [ blame her hair ]

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fuck dat
if bitches be beggin to get culled they gonna end up sleepin with the fishes

Unfortunately, even perfectly justified culling will get you thrown in jail here.

You're Feferi's ancestor. Aren't you?

fuckin humans bein soft is wat

[ sure, Mello. Mention the bitch that got away. Condesce really wanted to kill her.

But ah, well, one gone, two to go. ]

y
im

I've talked to a lot of trolls, and that's. A thing I haven't seen before. Congrats.

She has an unusual obsession with bright and flashy. I would appreciate it if you didn't entice her with mentions of certain trolls, it's difficult enough to keep her in a good mood as is.

That aside, I'd been meaning to get in touch with some involved in the agency incident for a report. And I'd like to personally inform you that while we don't encourage violence, should you be attacked first and so long as you don't kill the assaulter you won't be held responsible for anything else that happens as a result of self defense. I'm not making this public because there are certain guests who would abuse that as an excuse to start fights but I trust your judgement on when retaliation would be necessary, for next time.

[Because seriously, Stein of all people isn't going to tell them they can't fight back.]

I'm not much of a fighter. My self-defence is my gun, and anyone who doesn't shoot to kill is a fool.

That said, I do recognise that escalating things would only make resolution closer to impossible than it already stands.

Is she a danger to the other trolls here?

[Where 'other trolls' means 'Sollux.']

You might be interested in something I'm going to be offering later today then, keep an eye open. It's good you know when to take caution in these situations.

I have her living with me since I had to break up an incident between her and Meenah, so I'm ensuring she doesn't make any attempts to kill the other trolls. Though the only ones in danger of that without reason are the Signless and Meenah. She wants the others alive, despite her dislike of them. Sollux has been here at my lab a number of times since I brought her in and there's been no real threat to him.

[He read between the lines there, he's been keeping a close eye on things.]

Am I that obvious? Thanks, though.

I remember the royal throwdown that never was. And I don't particularly care about troll politics as long as no one fucks with my friends.

What are you doing later today, or is it a surprise?

To anyone who pays attention, yes. You don't need to thank me, though I'm still not quite sure what I've gotten myself into with her it's part of my job to keep an eye on troublesome guests.

You'll see. Is there a name you'd like me to put for you on the list in advance?

She's got 'troublesome' covered. Interesting, though.

You can put me down as Mello. There's not much point maintaining an alias here.

You have no idea. My lab is nothing but hair products and cake.

Alright. I figured as much, but didn't want to assume.

bitch you aint seen a fin yet

And you're still a newbie in this world, so don't 'bitch' me.

beach then

I wasn't objecting to the swearing.

IDC

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[Text] 8th May

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