text; 016- FEB 01/'10 - afternoon

[silicomb]

there is n0thing t0 be w0rried ab0ut.
everything will be
0k


it is.

[private; L]
i have a questi0n.
i think y0u will 0ffer a better answer than m0st.

Comments

[silicomb]

i'm n0t lying
y0u're pitiful y0u kn0w that
y0u accuse me 0f assumpti0n
yet all y0u d0 is assume

g0 ahead
i d0nt care
if itll make y0u just st0p
then ill even welc0me it

[powerdraw]

Dont
Call me that

Prove me wrong then

Make
Me
Stop

[silicomb]

d0 i tear y0ur h0rns fr0m y0ur head then t0 clear y0ur pan
g0uge 0ut y0ur 0culars t0 make y0u see
sear 0ut y0ur muscular hydr0stat and y0ur sharp fucking wit with it
peel y0ur epidermals s0 y0u may feel

[powerdraw]

Empty threats
No matter what you do to me you cant change what I already am
No matter what you say you cant make me feel a thing
Not really
Not anymore

[silicomb]

what d0es it matter anyway
y0u say y0u cant change shit but y0u keep 0n and 0n
and 0n
and 0n
and 0n
y0u taste like desperati0n

[powerdraw]

Desperation
For what if you know so much

[silicomb]

y0u keep assuming
i d0n't kn0w shit
0nly what i think and feel and kn0w which is a shitt0n m0re than y0u ever will 0r ever w0uld want t0
i kn0w what there is t0 kn0w ab0ut surviving in 0ur fucking dead shit s0ciety and i kn0w all the ways t0 g0 0ut and buy fucking b0vinebeast milk with0ut getting shanked in the back fr0m s0me unsp0ken and unseen s0cial faux pas
i kn0w what it means t0 have a lusus that may be t00 much f0r y0u and i kn0w what its like t0 sit with that fucking idi0t lusus in the quiet h0urs bef0re the sunrise and h0w fucking grateful he is when he gets his h0ney d0ll0p 0f the night
i kn0w everything there is t0 kn0w ab0ut apiculture netw0rking and h0w t0 assemble a passable and efficient pr0gramic0mb while keeping fair maintenance 0f a beeh0use mainframe.
i kn0w h0w t0 c0de fucking circles ar0und any0ne else 0n the g0ddamn fucking planet, that 0r this 0r any 0ther.
i kn0w h0w t0 grieve the pr0per am0unt 0f time 0r s0mething cl0se t0 acceptable at the death 0f a quadrantmate and m0res0 if it's at my 0wn hands.
i kn0w h0w t0 c0ntact men living 0n green fucking m00ns thr0ugh n0thing but a vague chatl0g and i kn0w, parad0x space fucking help me, h0w t0 c0de a game fr0m ancient fucking runes and data designed t0 destr0y 0ur shitty excuse 0f a universe
n0 i d0nt kn0w anything at all c0mpared t0 y0u

all i kn0w is y0u taste and y0u reek 0f desperati0n
like a fucking wiggler thats l0st its lusus
they keen like a day terr0r did y0u kn0w
m0st h0rrible fucking s0und until the cullsquad c0mes calling
here's my assumpti0n in return f0r all 0f y0urs
y0ure desperate because y0u have n0thing
n0thing but this
and a l0t 0f anger and shit that i c0uldnt give a shit ab0ut

is that en0ugh f0r y0u
0r can y0u just crack my braincase n0w and spare us all

[powerdraw]

Congratulations
You know how to be a troll and I dont
You know how to survive in a society made to ensure you learn to kill or be killed from the time youre hatched
Ill let you sit and enjoy that supposed victory while I tell you what I know

I know who and what came before you and your friends
I know what theyve done how they lived how they died why they suffered
I know how to twist and tear and shape space and time to my will but its still not enough to help me
Not there not here
I know that I am responsible for what trolls are now
If not entirely then partially
I know I will be everything that destroys any hope you all might have had because its what Ive already been
I know something greater than just the hollow fear of impending death that you believe to be so superior to anything I feel
Desperation over having nothing is almost laughable
Almost

You keep saying you dont give a shit
But I think you know youre lying to yourself about that

If youd still like to die though
I will so very gladly oblige
Ive never wanted to hurt anyone quite like I want to hurt you
The fact that youre so willing is
Convenient