soul_campaign | Entry #A-11: "Anticlastic" [February 3, Audio, Morning]

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Entry #A-11: "Anticlastic" [February 3, Audio, Morning]

[The last three days have run L absolutely ragged.

The madness-induced events of the 31st had been no joke, leaving L with finger-shaped bruises on his throat, drugged (sleeping pills), and poisoned (undercooked eggs? Or perhaps something else?) . The 1st of February had been spent recovering from the exhaustion and illness of the previous day, , and the 2nd had found him tentatively leaving the apartment in search of something to soothe his unsettled stomach... only to find himself in the middle of an attack on the city.

A crow familiar had tried to seize his skinny arm and carry him away. He'd beat it off with an enormous bottle of Pepto-Bismol he'd purchased moments before the city had erupted in chaos, stumbling and half-falling into a shop's storm cellar.

He had remained there, motionless and wide-eyed, all night, watching shadows pass outside and pressing his back against the wall if one came too close. At one point, a zombie had tried to break in; scarcely daring to breathe, L had held the doors shut, knuckles whiter than his face, until the threat had given up and shambled off to find a meal more easily extracted from its seclusion.

Now it is the 3rd. The Madness Wavelength is all but out of his system entirely (no small thanks to the food poisoning), and he emerges, disheveled and blinking, into the quiet street.

He takes out his communicator, reading the news as he walks, briskly, and then at a slight jog, back towards Death City Heights.

He's moving too quickly to be a zombie, so hopefully residents won't mistake the gaunt, rigid-eyed man for one. He simply looks like someone who is consumed by an all-important purpose, and whose legs might give out before he accomplishes it. There are also some alarmingly vivid bruises on his neck, but if you're polite, maybe you'll pretend you don't notice.]

[Private to Mello and Near]

If you're there, please answer as soon as possible.

[/End Private to Mello and Near]

[Private to the Members of the Watch and the Agency (Excluding Light Yagami)]

I'm Rue Ryuzaki, a relatively new member of the Watch. I respectfully request the names of those who either died or went missing during last night's attack, especially those who were scheduled to work with these two organizations today but failed to show up this morning.

[/End Private to the Members of the Watch and the Agency (Excluding Light Yagami)]

[Private to Light Yagami]

Where are you, at this exact moment?

[/End Private to Light Yagami]

[Private to Bakura]

Make me something to eat. Immediately. I haven't eaten since the 31st you cad and if I'm going to do something about this situation, I'm going to need more energy than what I can currently muster. Leave it at my apartment.

[/End Private to Bakura]

[He makes it all the way to Mello and Near's apartment, letting himself in with a key they never asked him to return and finding no trace of his successors.

Exhausted, he leans against the wall and slides to the floor, cupping his communicator in his hands. He'll go back to his apartment soon... but for now, he's winded, heart pounding in his thin chest and his legs refusing to work. It can wait until he's rested a moment.]

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[That amusement doesn't go unnoticed by L. How could it? He wants to slap the smugness off his rival's face... even though the last time things got physical between them, they went in an altogether unexpected direction. And right now, L needs calculated reliability on his side.]

Oh, no, I can't force you. But I can refuse to uncuff you, and go myself. You'd be free for about five steps, and then your options would be to come or to part with your right arm.

[Immature? Yes. Effective? Not enough... and it was starting to look like he'd have to play to Light's terms at least a bit. Damn it.]

Information? What information? Choose your words wisely, Light Yagami...

[The importance of this is impossible to understate. Getting information out of L is a delicate process, given his natural paranoia and highly suspicious nature. He clings to information as if his very existence depends on it, and... well, given the nature of their world, where a name and a face were enough to kill someone with the right tools, who could blame him?

Extracting information is difficult enough. A single screw-up, though, could cause him to clam up and make it practically impossible. That being said, Light actually does have some leverage in the situation. L is aware of this, and he's prepared to weigh what he needs (Mello and Near back safe) with what he can't reveal to Kira. Difficult decisions will have to be made, it seems.]

Edited 2012-03-27 19:20 (UTC)

[ The bluff was just that. A bluff. Light knows for a fact that L holds nothing on him. The threat of dragging him by the handcuffs is meaningless when Light can just transform into his own weapon form and slip right out of the others grasp. He opts not to, though, remaining where he is with the uncomfortable chain wrapped tightly around his arm.

There's admittedly a discomfort at being close to the detective, but he doesn't let it show. What happened between them was an act of madness and nothing more. Pretending it didn't exist and waiting for the other to crack first is the best way to play this game. ]

Fewer than 20 but more than one -- these are how many allies you said you had here. What is the exact number?

[ He knows very well that L will never disclose the names, and that's fine. Light can easily find out on his own without it -- but the number is important. The number helps him to narrow it down dramatically. ]

Edited 2012-03-28 02:06 (UTC)

[Of course Light would ask a question like that. He was probably planning on analyzing the networks later in an attempt to get a relatively accurate picture of who L spoke with, and was on good terms with, and who would lay down their life for him if the need arose.]

I am going to, for the sake of simplicity, define my "allies" as the people who would kill for me. While I think that at least half of them would die for me, what's important is that you're aware this number of people are protective enough of me, either through friendship or association, to kill you if you hurt me. Through action, or inaction...

[He thinks for a moment, running some quick calculations, taking cold inventory on what could pass for friendships.]

There are fourteen, Light. Not including you, of course.

[The number is closer to twenty than one, that's for sure.]

[ An impressive number. Much higher than he expected from someone such as L. But then again, L did have his connections. And with a number, he would know who to watch out for -- who to avoid, who to kill. L's allies had to be dealt with before he could be taken out. He already knew the one who called himself John Cusack was on L's side. One down. Thirteen to go, depending on however many were kidnapped. ]

Of course. Though why you felt the need to say so is anyone's guess.

[ He reaches for the remote with his free hand, flicking off the television. ]

But fine. I'll go. I don't even believe I need to mention it, but I will regardless -- self-preservation takes precedence. If it comes down to your allies or us in a battle for our lives, I will not hesitate to turn my back on them.

[The number itself is an approximation... and perhaps a bit optimistic, given L's tendency to have "friends" who have deeply mixed feelings about him in general. Many of them pity him just as much (or more) than they respect him, many of them acknowledge his intelligence but are uneasy with him on a personal level, and some of them aren't even aware of L's intelligence.

But Light is correct; John Cusack is indeed an ally of L's.

L's eyes dart toward the television when the static snap of the remote kills the softly flickering and changing screen and the static buzz. This indicates, rather more clearly than he would have liked to broadcast, just how tense the detective is.]

I thought you'd come around. And of course I don't actually expect Kira to put the survival of L's friends above his own. I do hope, however, that you'll avoid any attempts to sabotage me. I really wouldn't envy you after you returned to Death City, if the mission were to result in my death through your negligence or malice.

'Come around' is a strong term for it. I still don't believe it's a wise idea. For the first time since I've known you, I believe you're acting on emotions rather than intellect -- and quite frankly the only reason I'm going is so that I will know which of these allies of yours are so worth your safety that you would willingly risk your life on a mission for them.

We're not fighters, you and I.

[ There's a long, pregnant pause. ]

And you can release me from the handcuffs now.

That is frank, Light. Too frank. You should guard your intent to sabotage a bit more closely.

[Still, he doesn't sound particularly concerned. He actually seems invigorated and cheerful, as he often does when Light talks the way he imagines Kira would.

There's a soft knock on the door; L jumps up to answer it, uncuffing himself from Light and keeping his interaction with the visitor brief before returning to the couch with some sweetbread and frosted sauce.]

He seems appropriately contrite. Why didn't you kill me the other night, Light?

[The question is obscenely casual, posed lightly as L takes a huge, hungry bite out of Bakura's offering.]

You must have been upset with me, given the events of that afternoon...

[ Light rolls his eyes after L's first comment, watching him head off to answer the door. Why would he bother hiding his intent? Why would he bother hiding what's already obvious? Light wants to know who his enemies are so he can be cautious around them.

And then, of course, L returns with something to eat. Always eating. Always...getting crumbs all over everything. Light gets up off the couch in disgust when L resettles, picking up a few books from the coffee table and putting them up on a shelf -- things on souls and resonance and the history of this world. Things he picked up to give himself a better understanding of their surroundings. ]

I already told you I wasn't going to kill you. By that point, I'd regained my sanity. And as nice as it would have been, I don't believe Bakura would have killed you either -- which was why I was more than content to leave you where you were.

[ He doesn't acknowledge the second part -- opting not to bring it up, opting to pretend it never happened or perhaps that he forgot. Because any time the memory of the kiss enters his mind, Light feels the intense urge to throw up. ]

Yes, you had regained your sanity by that point, I suppose... but it begs the question. Would Kira actually have to be insane, to kill L? Or would he have to be insane not to? My very existence is a threat to yours, after all.

[So cheerful about this, as he eats, but there's something a bit forced about it. Through his enjoyment of the L and Kira back-and-forth, there is an underlying, intense concern. He's worried about his captured successors.

But he does note Light's avoidance of a certain topic with great interest. He's not nauseous; on the contrary, it makes him hungrier, and he takes another large bite of sweet bread.]

Then you weren't angry? People do strange things when they're under the effects of the madness, but I never expected that.

[ The only way to diffuse the situation is to give L nothing to be interested about. To be boring and give him boring answers. Light realizes this, and while it's difficult to swallow his anger at the pressing, fortunately his back is turned. He simply lifts his shoulders with a shrug, placing the last book on the shelf. ]

You're not a threat to me. You're an annoyance. It's your allies who are the real threat. If you were just as alone as I am here, you would hardly have the level of confidence you do right now.

[ And with an airy tone, he continues. ]

Why would I be angry over something I initiated? It would be just like being angry at Yako for kissing her during yesterday's events. It would hardly be fair to be upset at someone for reciprocating. And it would hardly be fair to hold myself at fault for meaningless things I had no control over. She was better than you, by the way.

[ He heads toward the kitchen after the remark. Okay, so maybe he went with insulting instead of boring. Hopefully it would have the same end result. ]

[Like fun it'll have the same end result. Hearing that Light kissed Yako elicits something very odd in L; he'd not sure if it's a strange cocktail of anger, or disappointment, or amusement, but it's certainly surprise, and he's unable to hide the fact that of everything Light could have said, he didn't expect that.]

Unless you tried to choke her to death, too, is it really fair to compare the two occurrences?

Why not? They were both kisses that happened during madness, weren't they? I believe they're comparable in that sense.

[ Opening the fridge, Light pulls out an apple. He goes to rinse it off in the sink, remembers the black blood, and then opts to wipe it on his shirt instead. ]

And you initiated both.

[L is quick to remind him, while they're counting similarities.]

However, Yako isn't much like me. She's younger, she's likable, she's female.

[He says so like all of these reasons should count against her, rather than for her.]

Did it get very passionate? That is... did it make you breathe very heavily, like the other day?

[ Light raises his brows, taking a bite of his apple and chewing it slowly -- as though to savor this sweet moment where the tool L wanted to use against him had backfired.

He swallows his bite. ]

Was I 'turned on' you mean? Of course I was.

[L watches, over his shoulder and out of the corner of his eye, as Light chews his apple at a leisurely pace. If he thinks that admitting an attraction to Yako is going to make L stop picking at this particularly ugly scab, he's sorely mistaken.]

But I said 'the other day', Light. Does this mean that you admit you were 'turned on', at that time?

[ Light shrugs slightly after L's question. There is no denying that he was -- but how to play it without playing into L's hands? How to spin it so that he still comes out with the advantage? ]

You asked if I was passionate and breathing heavy like the other day. In essence, those things are indicative of being turned on. The answer to that question should be obvious.

[ He takes a bite and chews thoughtfully. ]

Why are you so interested in this now, L? Why does it fascinate you when you're guilty of the same thing? Why were you so ready and eager to respond to my touch after my hands had been around your neck with intent to kill? Don't you realize the further we dig into this topic, the more about you, we expose? Your sick and twisted fascination with me -- does it go beyond an obsession to lust as well?

You initiated, Light, I only reacted. And... not having engaged in sexual behavior before... I was, of course, very sensitive to stimulation.

[Spoken perhaps a bit more defensively than he would have preferred the words to sound.]

You had your hands around my neck. Your aim was to kill me, and that was something Kira would have done. In my field, in reference to me, the phrase "consummate professional" is thrown about often. It is not incorrect; I do not feel lust. I feel, intensely, that my case is the most important thing. Everything I do reflects that.

[ Light shrugs somewhat. He was getting to L. If he continues to press this, he's sure he would get something out of it. But...it's not a topic he wishes to stay on because it's a topic that involves him. It's something he'd much rather prefer to forget ever happened rather than use it to his advantage. Because even Light can't answer the 'why' of it on his end. Was it madness? Was it something more? He doesn't know and that's unsettling. ]

I honestly don't care.

[ He speaks with exhaustion and finality, dumping the apple core into the garbage. ]

It's something that wouldn't have happened without the madness so I see no point in continuing to discuss it. I don't care about your thoughts or feelings or whatever else fueled you to respond to me in the heat of the moment. But if you're going to press at me for my madness-fueled reasons and reactions, I am going to press right back at you and yours. In the end, this will get neither of us anywhere. So you should let this topic do what you yourself refuse to -- die.

[L thinks he understands what's occurring, here... and he thinks he knows how he can play it to his advantage. Light clearly wants to get off the subject, not because he doesn't care, but because it's uncomfortable. Because he did initiate, and he doesn't know what to do with the fact that L wants to force the issue.

On one hand, L is not uncomfortable. On the other hand, pushing Light too far could make him leave. And that would smart more than Light saying he doesn't care.

That does smart, actually. And it takes a fair amount of effort not to show it.]

Light. If you feel that the madness was wholly to blame, then of course I'm willing to respect that. But if you were to press in return... I think that you'd find little. In short, I'm a man dedicated to his career and his title, and by extension, to his suspect. It's to be expected.

Then accept it as something related solely to the black blood and move on.

[ His words are cold, confirming the conclusion L had drawn. Light doesn't want to be on the topic. And he certainly hopes this will be enough for L to drop it altogether as something of a fluke. He would be able to accept it had he been in the right state of mind and done it, but the madness led him to do many things he wouldn't have normally done. As much as he would love to strangle the life out of L, Light doesn't think he could take a human life with his bare hands. And the kiss? He doesn't even know where that factors in.

Considering he can't analyze his own actions (which is disconcerting) he definitely doesn't want L analyzing them and coming to all sorts of false conclusions. ]

Edited 2012-04-18 01:10 (UTC)

[L's bluff, of course, was that he had no retort prepared in the event that Light actually had more to say on the subject. He knew that the chances were slim, of course, given that the act had been equally appalling from both their perspectives (he thought?)... but with the way Light had kissed him, he'd be lying if he said that he hadn't at least wondered whether something else was behind it.

"Hoped" was too strong a word. Blasphemy, even. But L had not responded with revulsion, largely because he hadn't felt revulsion. Madness did many things to him, but strangely enough, it scarcely ever made him behave in ways that were uncharacteristic to him. He was always unpredictable and strange... the black blood had just pushed him to certain points more quickly than he might otherwise have allowed.

He clears his throat.]

Then... in the spirit of "moving on..." I should make arrangements for us to join the rescue effort. Please be prepared to leave as soon as possible...

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Entry #A-11: "Anticlastic" [February 3, Audio, Morning]

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