soul_campaign | episode 017 [video; March 2nd]

[Welcome, everyone! You might be wondering: What’s happening? Is this another weird frog thing again?

Well, that’s a good question! In fact, if the paper letters stapled to the sky-blue background are any indication, this is a place where you can ask all of your questions! And someone is actually going to answer them.

KERO-SAN’S MAGICAL QUESTION JOURNEY~

All of the ‘O’s have been mysteriously replaced with cutouts of stars. (Not that mysterious though, really. Keroro’s running this show. He likes his stars.)

And look, kids! Here comes ~~Keroro~~ Kero-san now! From the bottom of the screen pops a small green puppet that bears a striking resemblance to a certain green alien.]

Welcome, kids!

[Beside him, another puppet pops up, this one is red and has a scar across one of its eyes like a certain red ~~daruma~~ ~~ruthless alien invader~~ frog. When the puppet’s mouth moves it speaks in a falsetto that’s actually a little weird sounding. Like whoever was behind the voice was trying too hard to not sound like themselves.]

W-welcome! [What the hell is with the kids thing, Keroro!? There are a lot of adults on this network, you know!!]

[Call him Kero-san, you idiot! And the kids show vibe is to make this whole experience relatable and friendly! (To who, Keroro...?)]

Ah, Giro-san! Do you know what day it is today, de arimasu~? [and without even waiting for a response, Kero-san cuts in, smacking Giro-san in the face with his tiny cotton hand] It’s the very first Kero-san’s Magical Question Journey Network Show~

...what’s with that stupid name?

[Spoken in Giroro’s regular voice, but in a whisper that he hopes the communicator wouldn’t be able to catch. Then he clears his voice because, right. He needed to stay in character didn’t he? And then in that forced falsetto again:] I mean...wow, really?

[He’s ignoring you, Giro-san. Everything that’s said out of character will be ignored from now on.]

Yes, really! Today the topic of our show is....

Let’s Learn Abouuuuuut....

KERON! That’s right, everyone! The green and yellow planet of Keroro and Giroro’s universe, Keron. The beautiful 58th planet of the Gamma Large Nebula! So come with your questions, and we will answer them!

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[Right, right.

She's not an expert on the battlefield, but she knows there are certain roles to be played. Support being one of them.]

Cool. And how about you, where do you fall?

[He looks like less of a fighter than Giro, but these guys never fail to surprise.]

I'm the leader, de arimasu. I'm the one who pulls the strings and makes the decisions, de arimasu.

[Surprised yet, Clover?]

[Just a little.

...]

No way. You're the one in charge?

[... Pause. Hrm--]

Do you enjoy it?

Of course I'm the one in charge. You can tell by the fact that I'm wearing a Keron Star. [Yes, the star on his stomach isn't just their for decoration. It actually has a purpose! And is also machine washable in warm water with like colours.]

And I do enjoy it. I've wanted to be a leader since I was a little kid, de arimasu.

...Not everyone gets what they want. I guess I'm impressed.

[Heh, she'll look at the Keron Star in question with a smirk; but them her eyes will return to his and she continues.]

So say I wanna visit this little planet of yours. What would you tell me?

[Not that it sounds like a terribly welcoming planet for tourists, but...hey. Why not ask anyway.]

Don't, de arimasu. But if you really have to, bring a disguise, de arimasu.

[He won't be responsible if you get sold on the black market.]

[...what.]

You mean a frog disguise?

No, that would make you stand out even more, de arimasu. Maybe something like an antenna headband, de arimasu. Anything that can make you look less like a Pekoponian.

That's what you guys call Earth, isn't it?

[Pekopon.

If they're trying to invade it like Giro says, she supposes it makes sense if she don't look like one of them if she visits.]

A Pekoponian is someone who comes from Earth, de arimasu. There's a difference, de arimasu.

[Actually it's because Pekoponians are rare outside of Pekopon. To the point where there is a market for Pekoponian specimens and items among alien collectors.]

... Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant.

[Wow, he's nitpicky, this one.]

I guess we're pretty special where you're from. [Or something.]

Not so much special as rare, de arimasu. Some aliens are willing to pay a lot of money for a specimen, de arimasu.

It's illegal though.

...Well, duh.

[Of course. She smirks a bit at that to conceal her initial surprise.]

It's illegal on Earth itself, too.

But probably not for the same reason, de arimasu. It's kind of like wildlife conservation, according to the space police, de arimasu.

[Heh. Equating humans to animals... she supposes they wouldn't be the first.]

Funny to hear that coming from a frog.

[It's the other way around on Earth, after all. Keroro would be considered wildlife there.]

I already told you that I'm not a frog, de arimasu. I just look like one, de arimasu.

[Nah, he knows for a fact that he would be treated like an alien, not wildlife. People would be more interested in dissecting and eating him than keeping him safe.]

Exactly.

[Well the fact that he looks like one seems enough for her. But Clover has a childish imagination. Others may be more interested in him scientifically, it's true.]

Though it doesn't seem to matter much in Death City. We're all fighting the same war.

Looking like one doesn't make me one, de arimasu.

[You don't see him going around calling people monkeys because they kind of look like them.]

Well, there were one or two people who said they were going to eat me, but I haven't seen them in a while, de arimasu. Azusa-dono says that they're not allowed to anyways, de arimasu.

[Oh boy, threats.

...She's never really been one to take those seriously, especially from people she doesn't know. But she does give a shrug-- she doesn't think he'd taste very good anyway. Not even drenched in curry--]

Probably just hot air.

[Especially if they haven't bothered him in a while.]

But you can never be too safe, de arimasu. All it takes is for me to underestimate one person and I'll get used for French cuisine, Clover-dono.

[He would be disgusting drenched in curry anyway.]

[French cuisine...

Idly she wonders if he's been watching too much Little Mermaid. But she shrugs passively, giving him a nod.]

Can't argue there.

[He doesn't seem scared at least, so there's that.]

When's your next show, by the way?

[Blame Squalo, Clover.]

When we have a next show depends on when we can find guests to star in the show and talk about their own worlds, de arimasu.

...I see.

[Luckily her "world" is pretty boring so there wouldn't be much to talk about. Of course there's the whole "I was kidnapped and forced to play the Nonary Game" thing, but what business is that of theirs?

Something she'd rather keep to herself... for now.]

Maybe I'll catch the next one, too, then.

[Might be interesting to know how many different worlds we're talking about ere.]

Then I look forward to seeing you then, de arimasu.

[A lot of them, Clover. A lot.]

Do you have any questions Kero-san can answer for you, de arimasu?

Mm... not right now. [She's asked everything she could think of, though she knows there's still a lot more she doesn't know.]

But I've used this thing enough that I could call you back, if I thought of anything else.

video;

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episode 017 [video; March 2nd]

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