soul_campaign | Text || May 2

Entry tags:

Text || May 2

Few announcements and a question. First, I’m Matt and I have a business called Black Mesa. It's a House Call Technician business, and we fix computers, broadcasting and wireless systems, business equipment and security system. If anyone is interested or just wants a job, call me maybe. Second, I’m doing missions, have a nice record, and kind of want to keep going. So I’m currently looking for a Meister who would be cool with going on missions. I’m a Weapon, a Portal gun; I shoot regular bullets and also create Portals. Third, imagine you have raw steaks. How hard it is to cook them? And how do cook them exactly?

[ PRIVATE TO: DUO ]
Duo. I hope you didn’t forget our date tonight.

[ PRIVATE TO: NEAR ]
A word, please.

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The areas that were damaged by the floating island - are the cameras still working there, or that circuit went down?

Some of those areas weren't covered by the surveillance system, [And boy does he sound not happy about it] but from the ones that were, a few were damaged, yes.

Are you offering your services?

Sure, yeah.

But I need to pay my people and for the materials. Aka, you will need to pay me.

Send me your budget and I'll have someone take care of paperwork.

[Agency ~~minions~~ employees have to do something.]

Good. I will give you a nice discount.

How generous of you.

Yeah, I'm a pretty cool guy, I know.

I would swoon, but I lack the synapses required to do so.

It's ok Near. I know well about my effect on other people. It's inevitable.

If by "other people" you mean "Sollux", sure, I can believe that.

[Hint hint nudge nudge.]

...........

Thanks for bringing up an extremely awkward and complicated matter, Near, you're a pall.

You're welcome.

[He goes serious now, though. He does think Matt and Sollux would be good partners again.]

You are looking for a Meister, aren't you?

Sort of, sure.

And he's a Meister.

[C'mon, Matt, you can do this.]

Yeah, Near, when you worry about other people, it gets really creepy.

[ let's change the subject, yes? ]

[Sorry, Matt, he doesn’t want to change the subject. It’s about time that someone tried to get some sense through your thick skull.]

I'm not worried. If you have gone on different missions with different Meisters and haven't gotten yourself killed or maimed, then you are competent enough in battle, and thus there is no need to worry about you or wonder how you’re surviving.

[Not that he would worry in the first place. That’s Mello’s job.]

But there is a significant difference between a temporary partnership and actually having a partner. A permanent partnership can grow over time, and your resonance will grow stronger, which in turn will make you stronger when combined with the number of kishin egg souls you eat. You want to level up, don’t you?

Sollux was your Meister, before. While your Weapon form is different from your previous self’s, and while there are slight differences to be found in your personality when compared to the previous Matt, your soul, in essence, is still the same. Sollux was familiar with your soul’s wavelength, with your strengths and your weaknesses, and he knew how to draw the power from your Weapon form.

He learned how to do it in the past, and with enough practice, he do it all over again and adapt what he already knows to you. This isn’t a matter of what feelings there may or may not exist between the two of you: it’s a matter of power, pure and simple. Survival of the fittest, if you will.

Do you want to be truly strong, or will you settle for the next best thing?

[ wow he so doesn't want to get into this.

And actually, he really doesn't want to tell you that he and Sollux kind of agreed to be partners just moments ago.

Because most of all, this is a conversation they should never be having and Matt can deal with Sollux matter on his own.

And he doesn't want to think about it]

Near-

Ok.

You don't really know how me and Sollux resonate, you don't know how we handle each other, and you don't really know how I have been with other Meisters.

Aaaaand sure - you are right. But you see, the thing is, there are more things to everything and there are things and.

[ seriously he can't talk about this. he doesn't want to. ]

Can you just let me handle it?

This is about me; my supposed partners, my meisters, my thing with Sollux, so- just let it be.

[What a disappointment.

(He doesn’t know any of those things, exactly, but not knowing them doesn’t mean he’s about to change his mind.)

Near realizes all too well that he’s biased. That he may even be projecting, and assuming Sollux’s feelings on this matter were similar to his own, when the person who used to be his partner came back without any memories of doing so-- without the faintest idea of how things were supposed to be, and how much power they could reach together. He knows all of this, and is well aware of how much those factors have influenced his decision to try and set up Matt and Sollux together in a partnership, but there is also another factor at play, one that is just as important: he has come to trust Sollux. Not only that, but the troll is also quite smart, and someone Near and Mello can count on; he’s sure that most people Matt could find to wield him wouldn’t fit those requirements.

But he has already said what he wanted to say on this matter. If Matt wants to be stupid and not follow the best course of action, then that’s his prerogative. Near isn’t going to waste his time trying to convince him.]

Whatever you say.

Yeah.

[ the one thing Near and Mello both seem to fail is that none of them actually tries to understand. Both want to push Matt and Sollux into being whatever they were again, using logic and their own opinions regarding Sollux, that they only make it worse. Instead of trying to understand or help Matt to understand certain things, they push him into it and make him feel like he is being pushed into a trap.

Matt is completely out of his depth, and Near, by using his logic (which Matt can't really say it's wrong), is only pushing Matt into deeper waters without any lifesaving and tell him to breathe easy.

None of them actually bothered asking Matt what he wanted. None of them bothered asking Matt how he felt. From the first day he arrived, it was all about making Matt understand he and Sollux were partners before, he trusted him a lot, he should trust him now, and thus he should accept everything, else he will be stupid.

No one but Sollux himself actually bothered to ask Matt what he wanted.

So, Matt feels trapped.

And the more he feels trapped, the more he refuses to be trapped. It's not like Near or Mello would ever understand that; they are too into themselves, they see themselves too much to understand it. And it's okay, Matt is used to it.

But things with Sollux are going. Slowly, complicated, a lot of unspoken things going on, but they are going at their own pace. If Matt allows Near or Mello anywhere near this subject, he knows he will shut himself off and go back to square one. Right now, not even Matt wants that.

So if he will be called stupid by Near, so be it. ]

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