soul_campaign

[There is quite abruptly a very upset teenage troll on the screen. He's glaring at the camera as if it has personally offended him. Normally he would have done this over text, but he wants to see familiar faces, and besides, the best speeches aren't given over text.]

Listen up, nooksniffers. Here's how this is going to go. I don't have time for this war. I'm already fighting in one, and that one I actually give a shit about. Since I can't leave until this place stops getting his ass kicked, the plan is to win this stupid war as quickly as possible so we can all get back to our miserable lives wherever we came from.

Okay? Good. So, what's being done around here to get everyone battle ready? Whatever it is, sign me up. I need to figure out this whole fucking "being a weapon" thing. [He even does the air quotes for added effect.] Talk to me about the training and shit. Otherwise, keep your squawk blisters shut and brutally destroy those Kishin things.

With one exception. [He raises his pointer finger at the camera. It is not the finger he's used to raising, and he very nearly flubs that up. He's used to giving speeches over text, alright. Maybe he should have done that instead...] I've already seen a couple of familiar faces around here, which leads me to believe there might be more somewhat tolerable assholes around here that I might be familiar with. If you are one of those losers, report to me so I know who's here and therefore not in as much grave danger. Worrying about you bulgelickers is a full time fucking job, alright, and I don't want to have to worry any more than I have to, because it's annoying as shit.

Alright, I'm out. [There's a little fumble and a muffled curse, along with a lovely view of the floor of Karkat's place in Casualty Communal before the feed cuts out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She might try it anywave. Beach thinks she's betta than anyfin and anymoby.

[Which really, is something theyhave in common, but Meenah likes to think she's not as much of a jerk about it. Considering she does a lot less maiming and/or murdering over it, she's actually right for once.]

Maybe I will, if I think I need ya. But you mentioned you're a weapon, right? Whale I just happen to be a meister, so if you feel like goin' on a mission with somemoby who don't suck...

She can't just kill any asshole she feels like...can she? There's got to be some sort of justice system here.

Holy shit, I am so down. I just have to figure out how to do shit as a weapon first.

Nah, but it don't mean she ain't fuckin fulla hershellf enough to try it anywave.

[Meenah knows herself pretty well, and considering the Condesce is an alternate version of her...]

No problem yo. That trainin' they got here in the mornin' helps with alla that junk. You'll be cullin' Kishin eggs in no time.

Whatever. I'll just have to deal with it, I guess. It is so fucking awful not having a weapon.

Once I get the transforming shit down, it'll be no problem. _{[Or at least, he hopes it won't be.]} I guess I'll let you know when I think I'm good enough for actual combat.

You can probubbly get one- just not one that's anotter Guest or waterebber it is they're callin' us this week.

Hey, no problem- you can't be worse at it than some of these bottomfeeders. Some of 'em actshoally listen when suckas tell them to fall down some stairs or somefin.

I thought we weren't allowed to have real weapons and shit?

There is no way I'm fucking falling down stairs. That's fucking stupid, and it's cheating too. I'm going to learn how to do it on my own without the threat of danger to my god damn life to help me along.

Nah, we just ain't allowed to bring what we got. Pretty shore the Watch suckas all have weapons of their own, yo.

Yeah, that's what I fuckin' said, but you know idiots. They'll try anyfin if they're desperate enough.

I guess my chances of finding a sickle here to actually use are probably slim then. I might as well just learn to fight as a fucking weapon.

You said it. I feel like I've got this. It will just take some work.

You nebber know. Just gotta sea aboat askin' the right people or waterebber. Might wanna start with them watch suckas, in fact.

I ain't worried about it none. Wouldn't have made you head threshecutie if I ain't think you were worth the coddamn trouble.

Yeah, I'm going to check that shit out. I'd feel a lot fucking better if I had a real weapon, at least until I learn how to transform and shit.

_{[There is a little moment of fanboy glee here.]} Of course! What's the use of a threshecutioner who can't even protect himself?

If nofin else, I could probubbly sea aboat gettin' you somefin. Ramza might know someplaice to get stuff like alla that.

[Karkat, that's cute.]

Exactly. And you ain't ebber seemed like a sucka who couldn't take care of himshellf to me.

Seriously? Wait, hold the fucking shellphone, you don't have to look into shit for me. I can't take care of it myself.

_{[Shh, Meenah. It's not cute. It's adorabloodthirsty get it right.]}

I'm fucking battlehardened and shit. To make it through that game _{[-He says the word with a lot of contempt-]} you sort of have to be.

Heeheehee- shellphone! [Congratulations Karkat, you just made Meenah cackle gleefully. Love them puns.

And fine, fine- adorabloodthirsty it is.]

And yeah, you do kinda gotta be. Why you think the suckas I played with never ebben amounted to nofin? Buncha coddamn... [She trails off into irked mumbles for a second-- and then she's back.] But yeah, point bein' I'm pretty shore I can count on you moray than I could ebber count on most of them.

_{[He has to grin. Meenah, you are the cute one here don't even deny it.]}

Hell, we almost fucking won our session. If it hadn't been for that fucking rabit asshole flying in and messing everything up, I'd be in a fucking cozy new universe right now. I wish I could be of more help. I'm kind of fucking useless until I can figure out how to work the weapon thing.

[Yes. Yes she is. But she'll never admit it. Sexy failure 4 (un)lyfe.]

My point exactly- but I'm pretty shore that ebben without a weapon you got moray goin' for you than the ship-obsessed rabble I had to deal with.

Haha, yeah I guess I do. I'm decent at hand to hand, since sickles are close range anyway, so I guess I could make due if I really had to.

Sea? That's just what I mean. Anymoby from my team probubbly woulda pitched a fit aboat not having the only weapon they know how to use.

...an' I use the word 'weapon' lightly in some cases.

Well, hell, I mean, I miss my sickles, but you have to know how to fucking adapt. _{[...Is he the only one thinking about the Zahhak family here? Ugh.]}

[No, no he's not.]

Exactly! I mean, I ain't got my trident no more but I'm not bitchin' aboat it.

[Not anymore, at least.]

Yeah! Hey, are you sure you'll be okay with using me? I mean, you're used to a more long range weapon. I wouldn't blame you if you'd rather fine something closer than what you're used to.

Don't worry aboat me none, crabcake. I can handle myshellf in a fight.

I know that, that's obvious. I'm just thinking maybe it would be easier to kick serious ass if you had a weapon that's closer to what you're used to.

Well duh- that's what my regular partner's for. But I figure he won't mind if I help a frond out gettin' started, know what I mean?

_{[He grins.]} Thanks Meenah. I bet we'll be a kickass team.

VIDEO

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video] Let's pretend I can spell rabid.

[video] that's totes a thing we can do

[video] bless you, you kind soul

[video] pretending just happens to be one of my favorite things to do, is all

[video] what a coincidence! I love pretending too hehe.

[video] it is simply one of the best things to do

[video] thus why rp is so addicting for me haha

[video] same, same

[video]