soul_campaign

[There is quite abruptly a very upset teenage troll on the screen. He's glaring at the camera as if it has personally offended him. Normally he would have done this over text, but he wants to see familiar faces, and besides, the best speeches aren't given over text.]

Listen up, nooksniffers. Here's how this is going to go. I don't have time for this war. I'm already fighting in one, and that one I actually give a shit about. Since I can't leave until this place stops getting his ass kicked, the plan is to win this stupid war as quickly as possible so we can all get back to our miserable lives wherever we came from.

Okay? Good. So, what's being done around here to get everyone battle ready? Whatever it is, sign me up. I need to figure out this whole fucking "being a weapon" thing. [He even does the air quotes for added effect.] Talk to me about the training and shit. Otherwise, keep your squawk blisters shut and brutally destroy those Kishin things.

With one exception. [He raises his pointer finger at the camera. It is not the finger he's used to raising, and he very nearly flubs that up. He's used to giving speeches over text, alright. Maybe he should have done that instead...] I've already seen a couple of familiar faces around here, which leads me to believe there might be more somewhat tolerable assholes around here that I might be familiar with. If you are one of those losers, report to me so I know who's here and therefore not in as much grave danger. Worrying about you bulgelickers is a full time fucking job, alright, and I don't want to have to worry any more than I have to, because it's annoying as shit.

Alright, I'm out. [There's a little fumble and a muffled curse, along with a lovely view of the floor of Karkat's place in Casualty Communal before the feed cuts out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ ah, so they are from similar timelines. but the grub wouldn't know if her plan has been going well or not since he isn't meant to even know she is there.

but still. ]

perfect

_{[Okay, he is more than a little freaked out now.]} Will you stop your cryptic bullshit? If you're not going to let me ask you any questions, then fuck off!

[ oh, she will indulge. because this is just too much fun.

No one bothered asking from what exact timeline she is from. Dirk had an idea. But Dirk's a dick. ]

now ya can ask
ask ahead buoy

_{[Um shit, okay, what does he ask.]} Alright, clarify how the fuck you know where I am and how I'm going. _{[Aaand it hits him.]} No one told you what we were doing. You know because you're fucking there, waiting for us. God dammit, tell me what you're planning! If you hurt my friends, I'll fucking kill you myself.

[ yeah that... wasn't smart, Karkat. She was actually willing to tell you because it's all pretty hilarious to her.

until the threat part.

and so, Condesce turns on the video to make a simple point. ]

Imma fuck you up. Imma cut yo neck and spill yo disgustin' mutant blood all ova the mothafuckin Shibusen stairs, but not befo' I make ya scream louda than yo fuckin' ancestor did.

And the fuck did scream pretty loud.

_{[Yeah, he's realizing that now. He thought she was terrifying before. This is worse.]} I won't scream. Not for you. And you're not going to get anywhere near me. _{[Or, at least, he hopes so.]}

Oh, I will mothafuck.

[ and Condesce logs the fuck out ]

No, you won't.

[Karkat said he'd made her angry, but he didn't say he threatened her. Karkat, why do you have to make shit harder on Stein?]

He's just a child and you're not killing anyone.

[The fuck you is, Condy.]

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