soul_campaign

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[There is quite abruptly a very upset teenage troll on the screen. He's glaring at the camera as if it has personally offended him. Normally he would have done this over text, but he wants to see familiar faces, and besides, the best speeches aren't given over text.]

Listen up, nooksniffers. Here's how this is going to go. I don't have time for this war. I'm already fighting in one, and that one I actually give a shit about. Since I can't leave until this place stops getting his ass kicked, the plan is to win this stupid war as quickly as possible so we can all get back to our miserable lives wherever we came from.

Okay? Good. So, what's being done around here to get everyone battle ready? Whatever it is, sign me up. I need to figure out this whole fucking "being a weapon" thing. [He even does the air quotes for added effect.] Talk to me about the training and shit. Otherwise, keep your squawk blisters shut and brutally destroy those Kishin things.

With one exception. [He raises his pointer finger at the camera. It is not the finger he's used to raising, and he very nearly flubs that up. He's used to giving speeches over text, alright. Maybe he should have done that instead...] I've already seen a couple of familiar faces around here, which leads me to believe there might be more somewhat tolerable assholes around here that I might be familiar with. If you are one of those losers, report to me so I know who's here and therefore not in as much grave danger. Worrying about you bulgelickers is a full time fucking job, alright, and I don't want to have to worry any more than I have to, because it's annoying as shit.

Alright, I'm out. [There's a little fumble and a muffled curse, along with a lovely view of the floor of Karkat's place in Casualty Communal before the feed cuts out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah. I can imagine. I going to do my best to avoid her, so it shouldn't turn into something awful, at least not quickly. You'll know if shit goes down. I don't plan on taking her on alone.

You shouldn't plan on taking her down at all.

[ this is a face that is, well, daring you to argue with him.

strong feelings about all of this are strong. ]

Look, the way I see it she's going to try and attack me whether I provoke her from this point forward or not. I'm not going to ask for it, but I'm not going to sit twiddling my thumbs waiting for her to fucking pounce. I'm going to be prepared.

[ give him a second to pinch the bridge of his nose and take a deep breath. Karkat... you do not even realize how much he actually sort of hates the witch. because he does and not in the way that Karkat would appreciate. ]

Being prepared and having a plan of attack are two different things.

I don't get why you're freaking out about this. It's something I have to deal with, and you don't even have to get involved. If you have a problem with the way I'm dealing with this, then it really doesn't matter, because it's myproblem. _{[Signless can't be this worried about him already. For god's sake he just met him, even if Signless knew the other Karkat.]}

Karkat...

I regret to inform you that, no, it does matter. While you have had to bear witness to many horrors that I would not wish upon anyone your age... I have seen her work first hand many times. People that I have fought and bled with. That believed in me. My own family.

What I am saying is that it might not be "your" problem, as ill conceived as that notion is, if I hadn't failed to start with. I should be the one dealing with it. Not you. You've already inherited far too much from me as is.

[ and now his lip does quirk. like something has just dawned on him. ]

Like the tendency to believe that my burdens, my problems, cannot be shared by others.

_{[...He didn't even think about it that way. Well, now he feels like shit.]} I'm sorry.

It's not your fault. I mean, even if you did "win," or whatever you consider the opposite of failure, she could still have shown up here and made threats. You don't have any control over that.

_{[That's a similarity he had totally missed until now. He always thought the only similarity would be the way they looked, but he is quickly being proven wrong.]} I guess we could work on that together.

[ there's a little shake of his head at that. ]

Don't apologize to me, Karkat. [ no one should have to apologize to him. ]

As for the matter at hand...

No, I don't have any control over it and there will always be threats, but her level of confidence regarding her them might be different. Your name would have been all but unknown. Though we might have to agree to disagree on fault. Maybe there is no one at fault in this instance, but -

[ he cuts himself off from finishing that thought. nope. stick with the middle ground here. talking about matters so close to the heart like this... Signless prefers in person. ]

And you continue to amaze me, Karkat.

Shit, do you realize how often I apologize? That should be a moment you fucking treasure for all time!

You can't change what happened, no matter how much you want to. Yeah, things could have been better, but they weren't, so, don't even think about "what if's" or whatever. I do it all the fucking time and it drives me insane.

...What's so amazing about that?

[ oops, smiling. just one of those soft ones. yeah, Karkat... it's pretty damn affectionate. just deal. ]

I should say that you, as a person, simply are. This you knows barely anything of me and yet you are already trying to help. You are willing to meet in the middle.

You've grown quite a bit, I think, and what is wrong with being impressed by it?

Well, yeah, but you just met this version of me and you're already treating me like I'm a close friend of yours or something, so I'm not enough of an asshole to treat you like shit when you're being so nice.

I'll let you in on a trade secret, Karkat.

I'm very good at reading people. You have told me more than you realize by your words before I even responded. I have also learned about what kind of person you are by your friends' words. You matter to them, Karkat. In fact, Feferi thought I should name Cocoa after you. They think highly of you so why shouldn't I, all personal feelings aside?

Well that and I know for a fact we have the best set of horns around.

_{[Somehow the most important bit out of that was-]} Cocoa? Who the hell is Cocoa?

...Yeah, well, Feferi doesn't know any better. She missed all the stupid shit I did. The reason she fucking died was because I was a god damn awful leader. If I matter so much to my friends, then why the fuck have they been keeping secrets behind my back lately? Or just plain treating me like I don't exist? I liked to think I had a good relationship with Kanaya, but now, she's always with Rose. I almost never even see her.

Ha, yeah. Totally. _{[Okay, he has to smile just a little at that.]}

My pet hedgehog. She called it a "land urchin."

[ yeah... Feferi thought Signless could use a pet, okok. ]

And who is to say that Feferi is not aware, Karkat? I doubt that it would matter much to her. I know her relationship with Eridan was rocky at best while they were here together.

[ he looks thoughtful for a moment and shakes his head again. ]

People keep secrets for many reasons. To hide their own shame. Sometimes it is a deluded idea of trying to avoiding hurting those that they care about.

[ a pause. ]

Do you like sweets?

Really. You have a pet hedgehog. Fucking really? _{[This is so stupid and so totally not what he should be focusing on but it's just so random and so ridiculous he can't help it.]}

Their relationship is shit. That's the only word for it. Even when they were moirails, it was completely one-sided. I'm surprised she lasted as long as she did being pale with him. Well, I'd hate me if I was responsible for killing me, so I don't see why Feferi wouldn't hate me for killing her. _{[...That was confusing.]}

They were fucking awful at keeping it a secret though. It was obvious from the start what they were doing, and they should have known I wasn't going to freak out about it.

I--what? I guess? _{[He does like sweets, but he's a little confused about why Signless would want to know.]}

Yes. A gift, really.

[ skipping over all of that for a second because - ]

Ah, good. I am on my way out and that means I can freely pick up something and not be scolded for it later. I'll just blame it on you.

[ aka, he's going to come over, you little turd. if we're going to talk about this stuff, it's going to be all proper. ]

_{[Oh. He should have guessed. He's not really sure how he feels about meeting his ancestor in person. He's sort of nervous, but hell, he guesses it was going to have to happen sooner or later.]} Do you want me to meet you somewhere? By the way, I am going to make it clear whatever you're bringing over was totally all your fault.

Consider it a hive warming present.

[ don't be nervous, little guy. HE'S NOT REALLY ALL THAT TALL OR INTIMIDATING REALLY. ]

...I did have a comeback for that. The truth is, Meulin and Mituna would definitely believe you over me.

...Alright then.

Fuck yes they would. I'm way more adorabloodthirsty than you are. That alone guarantees my success convincing them. _{[Look at that little grin. You've created a monster Signless.]}

[ no way. this is going much better than he had hoped. ]

Most grublings are, you realize.

[ a chuckle. ]

About half an hour will work, yes? Walking around in this place takes some time.

I do want you to know that my hive is always open, should you need it. ...Just do try not to head into Sollux's respiteblock. Keeping it clean is a hassle enough.

[ yeah, Signless does that. clean Sollux's room. ]

Hey! I'm almost eight sweeps asshole. Besides, that's my thing. Being adorablebloodthirsty is completely unique to me.

Yeah, shit, don't fucking rush or anything. _{[He's not in any hurry.]}

Thanks. I might get fucking kidnapped by two of my idiot human friends and go stay with them. Apparently they have room. Haha, you're trying to clean up after Sollux? Good fucking luck. He's fucking ridiculous. I'm surprised he even lets you touch his shit.

[ camera's shifting around a bit. just because he's getting up to move. ]

I'm fifteen, Karkat. You'll always be naught but a grub in our eyes.

[ a bit of a smirk there. he has to tease a bit. ]

As for Sollux... Well I am an adult troll. Who feeds him. And buys him ant farms.

Yeah, well, you're called my ancestor for a reason. It's because you're fucking ancient. _{[This is the second time he's pulled the 'old' card since he got here, but god dammit, he will not admit he's young. He's a god damn adult!]}

You bought him a fucking ant farm? Are you trying to start a fucking zoo in your hive?

I am not waving a cane just yet, thank you. Though if you ever meet with Dolorosa, I would advise against calling me old. If I am, then what does that make the woman that raised me?

[ ponder that while Signless here collects his things. ~~and oocly wonder if a log is needed or just actions spam~~ ]

Now Sollux, you see, couldn't have a bee hive... So I went with the next best thing. Naturally my fiance would want a cat, but...

Cocoa eats cat food so I am unsure how that would work out.

Uh, fuck. Yeah, I'll avoid that. _{[Insulting Kanaya's ancestor doesn't sound like a good idea or like something he'd want to do.]}

...Bees and ants are nothing alike. For one thing, ants are fucking tiny. For another thing, they don't fucking sting you.

Your fiance? _{[He kind of has the sense that this might be something important. He's obviously referring to Disciple, that much is obvious.]} The cat and Cocoa can share? I don't fucking know.

~~_{[occ: i'm down with either. a log might be better considering these two will probably talk for days.]}~~

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