soul_campaign

[There is quite abruptly a very upset teenage troll on the screen. He's glaring at the camera as if it has personally offended him. Normally he would have done this over text, but he wants to see familiar faces, and besides, the best speeches aren't given over text.]

Listen up, nooksniffers. Here's how this is going to go. I don't have time for this war. I'm already fighting in one, and that one I actually give a shit about. Since I can't leave until this place stops getting his ass kicked, the plan is to win this stupid war as quickly as possible so we can all get back to our miserable lives wherever we came from.

Okay? Good. So, what's being done around here to get everyone battle ready? Whatever it is, sign me up. I need to figure out this whole fucking "being a weapon" thing. [He even does the air quotes for added effect.] Talk to me about the training and shit. Otherwise, keep your squawk blisters shut and brutally destroy those Kishin things.

With one exception. [He raises his pointer finger at the camera. It is not the finger he's used to raising, and he very nearly flubs that up. He's used to giving speeches over text, alright. Maybe he should have done that instead...] I've already seen a couple of familiar faces around here, which leads me to believe there might be more somewhat tolerable assholes around here that I might be familiar with. If you are one of those losers, report to me so I know who's here and therefore not in as much grave danger. Worrying about you bulgelickers is a full time fucking job, alright, and I don't want to have to worry any more than I have to, because it's annoying as shit.

Alright, I'm out. [There's a little fumble and a muffled curse, along with a lovely view of the floor of Karkat's place in Casualty Communal before the feed cuts out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Forget about humans? Why, that's stupid. Some of my friends are human. They're really not as bad as I thought they were at first.

In general, we're violent assholes, but there's exceptions to the rule.

Hmph. That's not what I meant. [He meant the names he had said. Anyway.]

That does not sound that different from the majority of people that I'm aware of.

Oh. Well, okay. _{[Welp this is awkward. He's not exactly the best at conversing with people so forgive him.]}

Yeah, well, I can guarantee you we're worse.

[That answer makes him smile. He enjoys getting others out of their waters.]

..you can't be that bad if they think that I could be one of you. That one with the painted face even called me one of his relatives once. [Much to Hades' chagrin.]

Oh god, you're telling me Gamzee fucking Makara made you one of his "brothers?" You do know that asshole fucking murdered several of my friends, right? He wasn't from that time period if he was wearing his paint, but yeah, he gets way fucking unstable later.

I didn't, but yes, I got that impression from time to time. I have a difficult time understanding relationships since my race sees them very differently, but I assume that murdering your friends made you two not any closer?

Uh, well, it actually sort of did. _{[Whoop troll romance!]} But uh, we sort of broke it off pretty recently because he's a fucking asshole, murdering some of my friends aside.

Oh? That sounds like an interesting kind of relationship. [This is as close as Hades will ever get to outright asking something.]

Interesting. Yeah, that's one word for it. Honestly, it was pretty dysfunctional, even from the beginning. I obviously cared about him way more than he cared about me.

Isn't it always like that with relationships? I once cared about a boy who liked my attention not very much at all.

It isn't supposed to be that way, but yeah, I starting to notice a trend in my relationships.

How is it supposed to be then, from your point of view? [He is honestly curious. Social bonds are something that are more or less like an alien language to Hades.]

Well, it depends on the sort of relationship. Trolls have four different types of romance. Mutual affection is kind of important for every relationship though. If your partner doesn't feel the same way, the relationships doomed to fail.

Hmph. Doesn't that count for any kind of emotion?

For instance... I do not care for the fate of my remaining brother and in return he has and will never care about mine. Does that make our relationship working in your eyes?

Well, I can't really tell you about siblings, since trolls don't have any, but from what I know about siblings there's sometimes a sort of antagonistic relationship, and the way they function is different from how a romantic partnership works. No one says you have to like who you're related to. I mean, you don't have any choice about being related to them. So, maybe you don't give a shit about your brother, and he doesn't give a shit about you, but the two of you still interact at least occasionally, which means there's at least some sort of relationship, even if it isn't a supportive and loving sort of thing.

Hmph. They do say t hat love is the opposite of hate, but that is not true.

Our existences presuppose each other, but I do not think that you could call that a level of interacting. You said you can't have any siblings?

What? Who the fuck says that? That's ridiculous. Love and hate aren't opposites. In fact, they're more similar to each other than any other emotions in my opinion. Really the opposite of all emotion is indifference. If you give a shit about someone, whether you give a shit because you're in love with them or because you want them to die a horribly painful death, you still care what happens to them.

Huh. Yeah, I guess not. Troll reproduction isn't like human reproduction, and we don't raise our young, so no, we can't have siblings. The closest thing we have to a relative is our ancestor, the person genetically closest to us, but usually your ancestor is dead long before you show up.

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