soul_campaign | [[00110110 // video // August 6]]

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[[00110110 // video // August 6]]

[Psii has never shown face on network before. Has concluded doing so now is marginally less embarrassing than having to describe similarities between self and imposters, as would be necessary to supply context for text post. This way, other imports to Death City can see mismatched eyes and mustard-yellow t-shirt (this one with honeycomb pattern) for selves, and draw appropriate conclusion.]

Don't know exactly how attackers got powers that rightfully belong to self. But am sorry for trouble they caused.

Does anyone know how they were able to mimic?

[private to Amaterasu]

Want to level up. Would you like to go on mission?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You're starting to remind of best friend.

[Which is nice, but bittersweet.]

[ he smiles ] Do I?

How so?

He could always see things in way that made feel better. And would never allow to blame self.

He was wise, then.

He was biased.

Biased?

He made allowances didn't deserve.

Like what?

Felt had failed him-- No, am sure failed him. But he wouldn't believe that. Said there was nothing to forgive.

Do you think he'd lie to you?

Know he wouldn't, but. [He shrugs.] SS saw things very differently from self.

And is he wrong?

No. But he never knew whole story. Didn't tell him. He already blamed himself for everything that happened.

If he knew, do you think he'd change towards you? His feelings and the way he saw you?

[Psii's expression softens.]

Know that he wouldn't change. And wouldn't be that his feelings had changed and he was hiding it. He'd feel exactly the same.

Are you going to argue should give self same treatment?

You know, people are formed by the bonds they have made. You get to know your shape through others and you can’t see yourself and exist if there aren’t others. After all, how will you call yourself kind, when there is no one to be kind to? How will you call yourself smart, when there is nothing for you to use your intellect? If you don’t have others, there is no difference between you and nothing. And no one needs nothing. One must be surrounded by others and one cannot live alone.

You have formed bonds with others and you form those people. You are part of them, even if it's so subtle like passing by the street or strong like the feelings you have for your friend. You are part of someone. Doesn't that make you needed? And if you are needed and worthy of his love, doesn't that mean you have value? And if you do have value, shouldn't you take care of yourself, then?

[ there is a pause and kaworu smiles ] I don't think you should give yourself the same treatment your friend would give you.

I just think you should take care of yourself. After all, you are worthy of love.

[Kaworu definitely reminds Psii of SS.]

Barely know each other. Am not sure how you can conclude that with so little data.

[But flush his words bring to Psii's face is not all embarrassment. Part of it is reaction to emotions it brings back: sudden flare of missing family that hits like electric shock, only to transmute into bittersweet thankfulness that should have had that much--not enough time, here or in own universe--but more than enough that words ring true. Loved, and was loved. Many trolls never have that. He ducks his head instinctively to hide strength of reaction.]

Is hard to live with self, without him to remind of these things.

[ he smiles. ]

It's because I love you.

[ the angel nods softly ] It's alright. Eventually you will come to remember it yourself, if you give yourself that chance.

[Now Psii's completely embarrassed. Takes several tries before can make mouth form words.]

Am-- am very sure you do not know well enough to say that.

It's alright if you do not believe it or accept it. My feelings won't change.

But... Why?

I have told you, haven't I? You are worthy and you are much more than what you believe to be. You are capable of so much, and even when pain, you are still capable of keep going, even when you believe you can't.

It's rather amazing.

[Pretending isn't both moved and embarrassed by that ends up averaging out to a concerned-looking frown.]

Might have done one brave thing. In hundreds of sweeps. Not like best friend. Continuing was essentially default option. See nothing remarkable in choosing it.

And do you think that brave thing had no consequence at all? No repercussions? That it's not important?

Have been told that it had wide-ranging consequences. But was follower only.

Am not trying to argue am worthless. But don't feel have earned this level of affection.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[[00110110 // video // August 6]]

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