Entry #A-12: "Assimilation" [February 13, Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

[A smooth, soft voice can be heard over the networks.]

I'm getting the feeling that this consumer-driven holiday invented by greetings-card companies is more of an affair in Death City than it was in my own world.

While I don't approve of holidays cashing in by making people feel obligated to buy things for others, I don't have a problem if people feel obligated to buy things for me.

There are some stores selling fine chocolates. I like these in particular, so... as a true gourmand and an expert at gauging human emotions, I will give you excellent, informed romantic advice in exchange for any of the following.

[TEXT]

1. Creme buttermints (package of 12)
2. Vanilla caramel truffles (package of 16)
3. Milk fudge squares (NO NUTS, package of 8)
4. Hand-dipped marshmallow dream bars (package of 2)
5. Cotton-candy heart sticks (package of 1, the most cost-effective option)
6. Belgian nougat sprinkled in gold leaf (package of 1, the least cost-effective option but I'll certainly notice you.)
7. Candied orange slices (Package of 10)

[/End TEXT]

Comments

video;

[itaidakimasu]

So much solicitation these days...if you really want chocolate, I could make something for you?

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

You don't want any apt and insightful advice of the romantic persuasion, in return? I was almost certain that you might...

permavideo;

[itaidakimasu]

{She blinks, honestly confused.}

...me? No; why would I need something like that?

permaudio

[dead_black_eyes]

Oh, you know. The usual reasons. You're young, you're attractive, you're female... perhaps you've kissed someone very recently and would like some tips at making it better next time?

[Just guesses, really!]

[itaidakimasu]

...

Oh dammit.

{She buries her face in her palm, cheeks heating.}

He told you about that, then?

[dead_black_eyes]

Hm? Who told me what...?

Then it is true! There's someone you've been kissing? Lucky guy!

What was it like? I really know what I'm talking about here, believe me.

[itaidakimasu]

I might actually believe you, if you hadn't used such pointed terms.

Either way...I'd rather not go into detail about it, if it's all the same.

[dead_black_eyes]

It's fine, but... I really can give you some tips. My instincts aren't bad at all.

For instance... you're shy, so I'd bet anything that your first kiss with this guy was in a dangerous situation. Maybe both of you were afraid, and adrenaline combined with the heat of the moment was enough to spark something really intense.

[itaidakimasu]

Ugh.

Yes, you're right, okay, please stop. I'd prefer not to dwell on it, really.

[dead_black_eyes]

Why not? Something didn't happen between the two of you, did it? That would be terrible.

Perhaps you're worried about not being able to recreate the excitement of the moment? An easy fix for that is as follows.

[Private]

Invite him over. Put a tea kettle on the stove. Boil some water, and when he comes into the kitchen, you should pin him against the wall. Bite him when you kiss him; he'll be surprised that it's coming from you, such assertiveness. Slip your tongue in his mouth, not too far back, you don't want to be tasting his tonsils, but just enough to draw a little circle around the tip of his tongue with your own.

Then turn it up a notch by putting your fingers through his belt loops. Pull him towards you by the hips, and his reaction will likely be very strong.

[Private]

[itaidakimasu]

RYUZAKI-SAN.

{Her cheeks are positively flaming now, and she shoots him a miserable-looking glare.}

Please. It's hard enough right now; I've been avoiding him as much as I can, and having...having thoughts like that bouncing around my head during the odd moment where I can't avoid him won't help at all! I...

I seriously cannot deal with this, on top of...everything else.

[Private]

[dead_black_eyes]

[Hearing his fake name spoken like that is admittedly a little bit startling.]

Sorry...

I suppose I just wanted to help. I didn't know that it was like that...

[Private]

[itaidakimasu]

I'm not...

It's not like I'm mad or anything. You couldn't have known that I was stressed about it, or...well, about the 'everything else'. I just...I can't balance it all. Honestly, if it weren't for the near-death experience and--at least on my part--that survival seemed unlikely, that stupid kiss wouldn't have even happened and things wouldn't be this awkward.

[Private]

[dead_black_eyes]

Have you not spoken to him since it happened? About the incident, I mean...

[Private]

[itaidakimasu]

No. I've been doing my best to avoid him completely, really...

[Private]

[dead_black_eyes]

You're not assuming that he regrets it, are you?

[Private]

[itaidakimasu]

I haven't speculated about how he feels. But...I kind of do.

[Private]

[dead_black_eyes]

I think that you're selling yourself short. I think that if I had to guess about how he feels, he thinks about you a lot and considers your kissing ability better than those of others he might have kissed prior to you.

[Private]

[itaidakimasu]

O-Oh. That's...That's, um, good to know.

But..well, no, there was a slight miscommunication. I meant that...I kind of regret it. In a way.

[Private]

[dead_black_eyes]

Is that so? It's no good regretting something that you doubtless had no control over at the time.

I'm sure he wouldn't hold it against you, or allow it to be awkward in a conversation about the subject...

[Private]

[itaidakimasu]

You're...probably right. But I don't...I have no idea how to act around him now. It sounds more than a little melodramatic, but it feels like it ruined what could have been a really nice friendship.

[Private]

[dead_black_eyes]

If it was meant to be a nice friendship, something little like this wouldn't have too much of a long-term impact on it. I wouldn't be concerned.

[Private]

[itaidakimasu]

...you're right. I know I've been a bit silly.

[Private]

[dead_black_eyes]

Do you have plans for Valentine's Day?

[Private]

[itaidakimasu]

Kind of! But nothing romantic or anything like that. I've made a bunch of cakes and chocolates for my friends here, and a lot more that I'm bringing in to the Agency.

...want to see a sneak peek?