Entry #A-12: "Assimilation" [February 13, Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

[A smooth, soft voice can be heard over the networks.]

I'm getting the feeling that this consumer-driven holiday invented by greetings-card companies is more of an affair in Death City than it was in my own world.

While I don't approve of holidays cashing in by making people feel obligated to buy things for others, I don't have a problem if people feel obligated to buy things for me.

There are some stores selling fine chocolates. I like these in particular, so... as a true gourmand and an expert at gauging human emotions, I will give you excellent, informed romantic advice in exchange for any of the following.

[TEXT]

1. Creme buttermints (package of 12)
2. Vanilla caramel truffles (package of 16)
3. Milk fudge squares (NO NUTS, package of 8)
4. Hand-dipped marshmallow dream bars (package of 2)
5. Cotton-candy heart sticks (package of 1, the most cost-effective option)
6. Belgian nougat sprinkled in gold leaf (package of 1, the least cost-effective option but I'll certainly notice you.)
7. Candied orange slices (Package of 10)

[/End TEXT]

Comments

[Video]

[shiromadoushi]

...do you really think that'll work...?

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

I won't know until I've tried.

Besides, a lot of new people just arrived, you know...

[Basically, people who haven't met L yet and therefore don't know how he... is.]

[Video]

[shiromadoushi]

...

[[said in Japanese]] Those poor new people...

[video]

[lionborn]

And here I thought that only little kids want to get paid with real candy.

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

I don't actually care much for money. If my job paid me in chocolate and I was still assured of a place to live, I'd probably be happy.

What question, of or pertaining to romance, would you like to have answered? Do you want general advice? An objective analysis of your current relationship? An opinion on a first move or retaliatory ideas for an ex-lover?

[Audio]

[lionborn]

None of those that I'd want to ask you. [There IS this thing with Lili that's slowly becoming an issue, but he's nit trusting L by far enough to tell him anything about that.]

Just wanted to remark that I think that's a pretty dumb idea here.

video;

[itaidakimasu]

So much solicitation these days...if you really want chocolate, I could make something for you?

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

You don't want any apt and insightful advice of the romantic persuasion, in return? I was almost certain that you might...

permavideo;

[itaidakimasu]

{She blinks, honestly confused.}

...me? No; why would I need something like that?

[video]

[blossomgale]

Holiday?

[ Hi, she's new here. She squints at the text message, because well, she can't really read. ]

Cre... milk... bars...

[ Hold on, give her a moment to hit the voice function on her communicator to repeat it back to her in audio. Better! She understands what that says now. ]

Oh. Those sound really good.

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

They are.

You should buy me some, in exchange for advice on romance and seduction.

[Audio]

[blossomgale]

I think... I know what romance is. It has something to do with love. What's seduction?

[Video]

[heart_rhythm]

I don't think anyone's going to believe you disapprove with a list like that.

[Video]

[dead_black_eyes]

In my case, it really is different... I happen to eat like this year-round.

[Hungry, hungry hypocrite.]

[Video]

[heart_rhythm]

I've noticed. Just taking advantage of the day?

audio;

[silicomb]

[ ok that piqued his interest. ]

Cotton candy heart sticks?

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

That's right.

They don't last very long, but they're quite good. If you've a thing for cotton candy.

[voice | private]

[want_the_world]

How much to avoid the romantic advice?

[voice | private]

[dead_black_eyes]

One of each item. Stat.

[Video]

[pawned]

How about advice of another nature? [chuckle]

[Video]

[dead_black_eyes]

Another nature...? What do you have in mind?

Candy is candy, it is all the same to me.

[voice | private]

[cardfortress]

Being an expert at gauging human emotions doesn't mean you are an expert at offering romantic advice. It often has the opposite effect; a very analytical thinking can hinder the understanding of more sentimental matters.

[Despite his words, he sounds very amused. This should be funny enough, if anyone bites.]

Has anyone accepted your offer yet?

[voice | private]

[dead_black_eyes]

There were more than a few lies in my previous discourse. I only happen to be good at gauging emotion when compared with some.

[Guess who, Near?]

But a few people have. Even if they needed to be persuaded.

Perhaps you'd like to know something?

text

[conduit]

Hey! Your voice sounds familiar! Do I know you?

[ .... Yep. She doesn't remember that wild drinking spree she had earlier with him, but, his voice does ring a very vague and distant inkling in her subconscious. She makes a note of the list for future reference. ]

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

[...Oh my God.]

You were that drunk, Rangiku?