soul_campaign | Text || May 2

Entry tags:

Text || May 2

Few announcements and a question. First, I’m Matt and I have a business called Black Mesa. It's a House Call Technician business, and we fix computers, broadcasting and wireless systems, business equipment and security system. If anyone is interested or just wants a job, call me maybe. Second, I’m doing missions, have a nice record, and kind of want to keep going. So I’m currently looking for a Meister who would be cool with going on missions. I’m a Weapon, a Portal gun; I shoot regular bullets and also create Portals. Third, imagine you have raw steaks. How hard it is to cook them? And how do cook them exactly?

[ PRIVATE TO: DUO ]
Duo. I hope you didn’t forget our date tonight.

[ PRIVATE TO: NEAR ]
A word, please.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You love me.

yyp0[p-
yeah right.

[ so he may have dropped the SC, no biggie. no biggie. ]

[ fdjbjhbggj Matt meant it mostly joking. Until he remembers the last conversation he and Sollux had.

Ah.

Gah.

what is he supposed to say now?

change the subject is a go. ]

So, when do you want to go on a mission?

[ he's going to go and lie on his dumb shitty computer parts pile and hope he disintegrates within the next few minutes.

maybe while laughing nerdily and nasally to himself for various reasons far too numerous to properly list.

omg can he die now.

just smite him already ]

whenever y0u want man, i'm go0d.
long as it's at night y0u know?

[ smite Matt, because he is a dumbass and he has no idea what he is supposed to do. Nor he knows if he is supposed to do anything. Nor he knows what exactly there is, for him to do something about. ]

Yeah, I can do nights. It's fine.

co0l just ping me when you g0t a date ready.

[ brb he's going to go and try to change occupations to a slug.

a dead slug. ]

I'm free whenever.

[ they'll never get over this will they? ]

[ they think like pre-teens when it comes to this stuff, so yeah no. probably not. ]

t0morr0w?

[ forever pretending nothing is wrong ]

Yeah, cool. I will sign us up for a mission tomorrow.

ok neat see y0u then bye

[ sollux is such an adult, look at all that smoothness there ]

[ ... ]

Bye.

[ this comes after two certain someones tried to meddle into shit they shouldn't have ]

Hey. Tomorrow, can we go to the arcade instead? [ instead of the mission ]

?
sure.
c0ld feet already?
or did y0u actually try eating the steak raw.

[ he is trying not to get cold feet ]

I gave up on the cooking life. Gods made pre-made and fast food for a reason, and I shall accept their greatest gift into my life.

Edited 2013-02-14 07:12 (UTC)

d0n't be going all religi0us on me, br0.
but ok sure i'm game.
hahaha get it.
anyway yeah, main arcade?

Aren't you my god? You should be glad for it. We can go eat pizza after. I might let you smell my beer.

Edited 2013-02-14 07:32 (UTC)

d0n't pray to me all i want are sacrificial 0fferings.
of games.
i've been needing a new m0use for my huskt0p.
and yeah ok.
are y0u sure i won't get magically inebriated 0ff the fumes alone.

nah, that's asking for too much. I can get you a mouse, but that's because I'm a really awesome boss. And there is only one way to know.

it's 0k i can just call it an offering myself.
all's well with the w0rld.
and you'll t0tally give me a taste to0 right.

what no not happening i'm a responsible adult [ who, according to American law, shouldn't be drinking, but he pretends he is over 21. There isn't an ID per say, since he is a guest, so they'll have to take his word for it ]

and i'm king 0f the world uh huh.
glad we cleared that up.
c'm0n just a sip.

I'm not going to be responsible for the downfall of a young bright troll. My heart wouldn't handle it. I'm kidding, you can drink it I tasted my first beer when I was 14.

y0u've never had sop0r, you're still fresh and untainted.
awes0me.
promise i w0n't tell the others 0k.

Is that some drug? Just a heads up, the first time I tasted beer, that shit was awful. I mean, really awful. If I had to guess what cat piss tasted like, I'd say beer was it.

s0rt of.
it's what we use t0 sleep in.
basically a mass-produced tranquilizing slime we fill 0ur recuperaco0ns with.
yum.
and i am now duly warned thank y0u.

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