Text || May 14

[3rdbest]

Last few days were so much fun.

Black Mesa is back in business. For those who don’t know what Black Mesa is, it's a House Call Technician business, and we fix computers, broadcasting and wireless systems, business equipment and security systems. If anyone is interested or just wants a job, call me maybe.


[ PRIVATE TO: BLACK MESA EMPLOYEES ]
We are going put up cameras all over the city. More, at least. Ones that will actually capture when few people are being kidnapped on the streets after being chloroformed.

The Detective Agency will supervise this since it’s for them.


[ PRIVATE TO: DUO ]
I have a proposal. Not marriage, but close.


[ PRIVATE TO: NEAR and MELLO ]
Thanks for breaking into my place, setting off the alarm and starting the program to erase everything I had in my three computers. That was really awesome and completely necessary.

Near, we are also ready to start setting up the cameras. Whenever you are ready.


[ PRIVATE TO: SOLLUX ]
Hey, let’s go on a mission tomorrow or the day after?

Comments

[consider8]

[So now the troll stands up and kneels down to reach to toch Matt's hands. Her finger tips touch the back of his hands, which is fine unless he feels comfortable to hold hers. Regardless, her eight pupils look deeply into his.]

I can't promise anything for either of us after this. [A pause.] Or that we will ever meet again. But no matter what happens, I can only hope that you find your happiness and that if there is a possibility that we will meet in happier times, that it may be so.

[Her voice trembles and grows soft. Though she is usually filled with uncertainty, this world... where so much of herself was stripped away, had taken it's toll. She wanted to be able to remain confident and composed, but things had just been getting worse with no sign of reason. She clinged to the hope that there was a justification for everything that happened and that it will all come together in the end. Sometimes, though, in the dark when no one was there to talk to the troll worried that this entire universe and the reality-distorting properties of BREW made everything that she ever knew moot and that, once she returned back to the universe she was a part of, her time here would be for nothing. Forgotten and meaningless.]

[Well.]

[Not that she wasn't used to that.]

[3rdbest]

[ Matt blinks as Aranea moves, eyes following her - hands? He tenses, it's inevitable, but he allows her to speak.

It's Matt's third time in Death City. He doesn't remember any of those times he was here, and he doesn't think he will ever remember when he is returned - also because he will be dead.

Aranea's words are then, unfortunately, empty hope. And in a way, they are partially related to a lot of things going on inside Matt's mind that he doesn't talk to anyone about. Because they are irrelevant to the present situation and who cares? Matt doesn't, not really, that's why he doesn't think about them much.

But he smiles nonetheless and his hand finally holds hers. And maybe he surprises himself a bit after but he leans forehead and presses his forehead against her shoulder, eyes closed and maybe a bit tired. The whole kidnapping thing was much more tiring than he wants to admit, and not in a physical sense ]

You are one nice troll, has anyone ever told you that? The nicest I've known so far. [ not that he has met many ]

[consider8]

[And now her voice is barely a whisper.] And yet I allowed some of the worst atrocities to trollkind to occur. Though I do not lament my decision, by creating a flawed world in which my species were to be victorious in the game, I had created a veritable hell and solicited wonton destruction of billions of my own species and those of others.

[And yet, she motions her head slowly so that their foreheads touch. She was a little sad that they were both weapons, or else she'd be able to resonate and feel his emotions, and let him feel hers. She was used to the prior, but it was the latter that brought a certain intimacy to her relationships that she had not been used to. For once her feelings were naked and bare.]

Time moves and passes like the tick of a clock. Our life is like a breath of air in the stream of infinity. A single leaf that grows on a tree, withers, and falls. In the end our ghost will remain with it's tyranny and benevolence.

[Her eyes open again, full with the memories of a million, billion years wandering among the stars and seeing the birth and death of universes. She wishes so much that he could know what she knew, in meaning that was beyond the words she could say.] People remember the Madness of the cosmos because it is trying and it hurts--misery and despair leave scars that last even beyond the grave--but it is the moments of true grace that makes our precious time bearable and imparting that light which gives meaning to our one fleeting moment.

[3rdbest]

[ Matt doesn't believe in ghosts and after-life. Even with BREW bringing him here after his death, Matt is still wary to accept there is "another side" or "dream bubbles" or whatever it may exist in the other's worlds. He believes in nothingness; honestly, he prefers to believe that. Nothingness isn't as bad as it seems; it's ultimate freedom.

Even if he had all the games in his afterlife, it still sounds like a terribly long time and he doesn't want that. ]

I'm happy with my life; right now and before. It's not that amazing, it's actually kind of boring to some, but I love it. My games, my music my awesome weapon form which everyone should be jealouse of - I'm not even kidding. [ he is.

Matt smiles and looks at her ] It's not a bad life. And when I died, even if I didn't have a great revelation or re-watched my whole life in a second, I thought I was pretty glad to have lived what I did.

And I know my best friend beats himself over me dying and blames himself, but honestly, I would do it again. All of it. It's not that it gave me "meaning" you see - it simply made me happy. [ not dying per say. That hurt like a bitch.

He means the whole thing. Matt was happy before. And he IS happy now. ]

So I don't know anything about true grace or meaning. I just know that I like it, the way I live. Even if it's for a short time. [ Matt moves his arms and places them around Aranea. Careful, like he is afraid it will burn, but still- he is caring. ]

[consider8]

[In spite of her calm and quiet demeanor, Aranea is not quick to offer physical intimacy. It sort of went with the territory of being am empath. Reaching out and touching another person can be very alarming and viewed as an act of emotional bullying, especially for sensitive moments. Sometimes people needed the opportunity to be hurt, or vulnerable, or isolated. Yet now she no longer knew what feeling Matt was feeling. In a strange way, this was disarming, and yet in another they were level. A gesture of friendship, or support, or compassion. There was meaning.]

[Slowly the troll returned the gesture, and in that one fleeting moment shared her comfort, warmth and presence.]

And that is good too.

[3rdbest]

Yeah. I think so, as well.

[ and after Matt finally drops his arms. He sort of needed that hug, in a lot of ways. He may love his life, but there is also a lot that still upsets him, in a way.

It may sound sappy, but hugs from friends do make it feel better. ]

Thanks, Aranea.