VIDEO

[redregrets]

[There is quite abruptly a very upset teenage troll on the screen. He's glaring at the camera as if it has personally offended him. Normally he would have done this over text, but he wants to see familiar faces, and besides, the best speeches aren't given over text.]

Listen up, nooksniffers. Here's how this is going to go. I don't have time for this war. I'm already fighting in one, and that one I actually give a shit about. Since I can't leave until this place stops getting his ass kicked, the plan is to win this stupid war as quickly as possible so we can all get back to our miserable lives wherever we came from.

Okay? Good. So, what's being done around here to get everyone battle ready? Whatever it is, sign me up. I need to figure out this whole fucking "being a weapon" thing. [He even does the air quotes for added effect.] Talk to me about the training and shit. Otherwise, keep your squawk blisters shut and brutally destroy those Kishin things.

With one exception. [He raises his pointer finger at the camera. It is not the finger he's used to raising, and he very nearly flubs that up. He's used to giving speeches over text, alright. Maybe he should have done that instead...] I've already seen a couple of familiar faces around here, which leads me to believe there might be more somewhat tolerable assholes around here that I might be familiar with. If you are one of those losers, report to me so I know who's here and therefore not in as much grave danger. Worrying about you bulgelickers is a full time fucking job, alright, and I don't want to have to worry any more than I have to, because it's annoying as shit.

Alright, I'm out. [There's a little fumble and a muffled curse, along with a lovely view of the floor of Karkat's place in Casualty Communal before the feed cuts out.]

Comments

[Video]

[redregrets]

Well, the mayor wasn't, but he can't fucking speak and who knows if he even knows anything about romance. Dave and Terezi broke it off though. Dave wasn't exactly thrilled about the fact that Terezi was sneaking around with Gamzee.

[Video]

[pranksterheir]

If I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't really be happy if she was sneaking around with someone else either.

Who's the mayor?

[Video]

[redregrets]

Yeah, it was a huge fucking mess. Things aren't exactly working out the way I wanted them too. Most of us aren't ready for this fight at all.

Oh, right, he's this carapace guy who's apparently the mayor of this town made of cans. He's cool, but he's not the best company if you're looking for conversation.

[Video]

[pranksterheir]

Carapace guy...?

[Video]

[redregrets]

Yeah. He's like one of those things from Prospit. The ones that live there?

[Video]

[pranksterheir]

I only saw bits and pieces of Prospit. But there was this one guy that was wearing my bedsheet who followed me around on the Battlefield for a while...

[Video]

[redregrets]

I saw Prospit for two fucking seconds John. Do I want to ask why there was some guy wearing your bedsheet stalking you on the Battlefield? All your adventures were just so god damn stupid.

[Video]

[pranksterheir]

I don't know, he just kind of followed me.

But speaking of interventions, I need your help with something.

[Video]

[redregrets]

_{[He's rolling his eyes at you John.]} Alright, sure. Tell me you haven't done something stupid. _{[Like you're one to talk Karkat.]}

[Video]

[pranksterheir]

I'll tell you when I see you, I'm almost there.

[Video]

[redregrets]

_{[....Avoiding answering his question is not making him feel better John.]} Alright, I'm out in front of the building already, so I'll see you, I guess.

[Action]

[pranksterheir]

[John eventually finds his way there and once he spots Karkat, he's grinning again as he breaks into a run. Better prepare yourself for a tackle hug, Karkat, cuz it's coming whether you like it or not.]

[Action]

[redregrets]

_{[Oh god all he can do is watch in horror as John approaches at a run. He's going to die. He is not prepared.]}

[pranksterheir]

[Aaaaand tackle hug!]

[redregrets]

_{[He manages to get his arms around John, so he'd call this hug a success, even if he very nearly topples over at first.]} Hi bulgebreath.

[pranksterheir]

Hey, buddy!!! We finally get to meet, this is so cool!!!

[redregrets]

Yeah, it is pretty fucking cool. I was half afraid I was going to have to meet you in battle, and that's kind of a bad time to exchange pleasantries and shit.

[pranksterheir]

Yeah, that wouldn't be very fun at all. [He pulls back to hold up a fist for a brofist! Put 'em up, Karkat.]

[redregrets]

_{[Luckily Dave has taught him about the brofist otherwise this would be supremely awkward. Have a bump John.]} Alright, spit it out John. What do you need help with?

[pranksterheir]

It's about Dave. He's being really stupid.

[redregrets]

More stupid than usual?

[pranksterheir]

He thinks it's a good idea to work pretty much twenty four seven and not get any sleep except for naps during morning training.

[redregrets]

Is he trying to get himself killed? And he won't listen to you about this being a clearly awful idea, right? I'll team up on him with you if you think that will help. He's pretty god damn stubborn though.

[pranksterheir]

Not really. I tried to bring it up before but he brushed it off. I think we might need to take drastic measures like tie him to his bed.

[redregrets]

Okay, John, let's not fucking do that because then he's going to make a stupid joke about it. Dave is capable of being rational. He just needs two of us to do the convincing.