Text || May 2

[3rdbest]

Few announcements and a question.

First, I’m Matt and I have a business called Black Mesa. It's a House Call Technician business, and we fix computers, broadcasting and wireless systems, business equipment and security system. If anyone is interested or just wants a job, call me maybe.

Second, I’m doing missions, have a nice record, and kind of want to keep going. So I’m currently looking for a Meister who would be cool with going on missions. I’m a Weapon, a Portal gun; I shoot regular bullets and also create Portals.

Third, imagine you have raw steaks. How hard it is to cook them? And how do cook them exactly?


[ PRIVATE TO: DUO ]
Duo. I hope you didn’t forget our date tonight.


[ PRIVATE TO: NEAR ]
A word, please.

Comments

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[silicomb]

n0t enough meat 0n this hot frame.
ain't n0thing out there that'll want t0 eat me.

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[3rdbest]

You sure? You did say you got some with the genocidal queen. [ this is as far Matt will go with sexual innuendos ]

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[silicomb]

smo0ches don't c0nstitute need for pails.

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[3rdbest]

Idk man, just saying, maybe there IS something out there that wants to have a bite off your hot frame.

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[silicomb]

dude i'm flattered but seri0usly you smell like cheet0s.

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[3rdbest]

Cheetos? Really?

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[silicomb]

hell if i kn0w but there's a 30% it's true.

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[3rdbest]

You are a dumbass. You aren0t even anywhere near me to know how I smell like.

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[silicomb]

was i right anyway?

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[3rdbest]

Nope.

I smell like raw meat and beer.

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[silicomb]

gr0ss.
what does beer smell like anyway.

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[3rdbest]

Idk how to describe it, dude.
You never smelled beer?

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[silicomb]

never had 0ccasion t0.
do i LO0K like troll nic0las cage to y0u?

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[3rdbest]

Well, best you stay away from it, you aren't old enough yet.

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[silicomb]

i am s0 old en0ugh.
but ok fine just t0 appease your delicate alien sensibilities i'll sit back 0n my heels like a go0d grub.

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[3rdbest]

Not old enough to drink, even if you are an alien, dude.

When you get to 16, I will give you your the first beer to pop that cherry.

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[silicomb]

s0 next sweep then.
ok i can wait.
i h0ld you acc0untable though if it tastes like ass.

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[3rdbest]

Have you ever tasted ass?

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[silicomb]

not that i recall.
but i kn0w i can always turn to y0u for reference.

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[3rdbest]

Sorry, still don't know that part of life. And not exactly interested in it.

If you want reference, ask Mello or Near.

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[silicomb]

0h my god matt gr0ss.

[ but he's still laughing anyway ]

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[3rdbest]

I did not start this conversation.

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[silicomb]

y0u carried it ont0 this topic, y0u may as well have.

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[3rdbest]

You mentioned the taste of ass, Sollux.

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[silicomb]

it was a figure 0f speech!
is this a lo0k into y0ur twisted and kinky psyche?
send help, i need a custodian.