March 17th: We Are Stardust, We Are Golden, and Whatever Impresses Hippie Chicks [Text]

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Good morning, Death City! Somewhere out there, I know that there's a special lady who combines these attributes in one flawless package.

1. Good in bed
2. Great in bed
3. Spectacular in bed
4. Searching for all of the above in a sexy love torpedo named Barney Stinson!

Ladies, especially Weapon ladies, send in your replies before they start pouring in too fast for me to keep track of.

Dudes. Dudes. Cock block at your own risk. Because I will make fun of you if you post here. It will be ruthless, cruel, dirty low-down mockery. You've been warned, gentlemen.

Comments

Video

[shadow_star]

[ So... domestic skills and ... speaking? Hm... Tsubaki isn't much of a speaker, but she's good with the other stuff. Black Star's never complained about her skill in the kitchen, or tidying up the apartment. ]

The number 69? ...Why would anyone have a problem with that? [ Pause. Well, Kid would - it's not a very symmetrical number is it. ]

Video

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Your guess is as good as mine, sweetheart. I guess that some people are just closed-minded.

Video | OMG WHat am I doing *facepalm*

[shadow_star]

[ Well that's just -awful-. Picking on a poor number like that - at least with Kid it's understandable. ]

I...see. Well I'm sure my Meister won't mind if I help a little in that regard, if you like.

[ You know with the cleaning and cooking because that's obviously what you're really asking for right right ]

What's your name?

Video | GO BACK WHILE YOU STILL CAAAAAN

[legend_waitforit_dary]

If I'd like? If I'd...!

Why, yes, I would like.

Barney Stinson, cupcake. What's yours? Or should I just keep calling you the names of sweet pastries?

Video | I CAN'T GO BACK NOW THIS IS BAT COUNTRY

[shadow_star]

Wonderful!

[ No. No Tsubaki no, not wonderful, omg. ]

Er -- o-oh! No, you don't have to call me anything like that. [ An awkward chuckle because ohgosh. ]

My name is Tsubaki. Nakatsukasa Tsubaki - it's nice to meet you, Barney-san.

Video | FLEE LITTLE ONNNNNE

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Indeed!

[So jovial and happy, you've made his night. Also, he was pretty sure that you were Japanese. High five!]

So. Tsubaki. You should come over this evening. Take a shower first, and wear something nice.

Video | Quick like a bunny?

[shadow_star]

[ Oh good! She likes seeing people happy. And he's right, she is Japanese. ]

This evening? [ That soon? Maybe he was like Re-l and was a disaster in the kitchen. ]

Why so soon? [ Also why does she need to dress up if she's going to cook and clean? You are very strange, Barney~! ]

[Video - Private to Tsubaki]

[usedforcepalm]

Tsubaki-san, I don't think you should go over to his home.

[Video - Private to Hanabi]

[shadow_star]

[ But Hanabi, that would be rude, this Barney person seems nice~! ]

Eh? Why not? It seems he's having a lot of troubles right now. Especially if he wants me to come over tonight.

[ She... can deal with a Meister that's perverted and it's just to help him tidy up. Because her brain skirted away from the other implications quickly. ]

[Video - private between Tsubaki and Hanabi]

[usedforcepalm]

[It's embarrassing to bring up, but she's fairly certain Tsubaki is giving Barney way too much benefit of the doubt, here.]

Because he didn't say he was having any trouble with cleaning up his home or learning how to cook.

[That was the easier part. Hanabi takes a breath before explaining further.]

He wanted a girl Weapon who was good in bed. I'm pretty sure he doesn't mean someone to lie beside him in pajamas.

[Video - private between Tsubaki and Hanabi]

[shadow_star]

E-Eh? Oh -- Hanabi-san I'm... I'm sure it isn't like that...! It's... just his way of joking?

[ ... Although she's really rather unsure about that. ]

In any case, ... if... that is what he's talking about, I owe it to him to at least explain I misunderstood, in person.

[Video - private between Tsubaki and Hanabi]

[usedforcepalm]

I don't think you owe him anything other than a message saying that you didn't understand what he wanted and aren't interested in him that way.

[Because she knows that you have amazing levels of patience, Tsubaki. You remind her of her sister, in that respect.]

If you want to be nicer than that, you could wish him good luck and offer to answer questions he might have about Death City and missions and things like that.

Video | Private

[nauticalnightmare]

[Eridan does not do this often, but come the fuck on. This is his most deadpanned expression yet.]

He's talkin' about sex. Sixty nine is a fuckin' sexual position if you use your imagination. It's just dowwn fuckin' right disgustin' the lengths this bastard is goin' to. If anythin' you should go ower there an' giwe him a wwell deserwed kick in the balls because he's tryin' to trick you into fuckin'. Better yet, just tell your psycho meister wwhat this guy's sayin' to you an' let him deal wwith it.

Video | Private

[shadow_star]

[ There is a long silence. But no... nooooooo that can't be right! Who just ... solicits over a network? That's... that's insane! It's a joke right? Right? fkal /sob]

I -- a...are you certain? [ Black Star will never ever let her hear the end of it. Though Eridan had a point, she did at least owe it to Barney to apologize in person for misunderstanding him and all. Not that she was going to kick him. ]

O-oh, but... Black Star isn't psycho.
[ Cuz obviously THAT is the important thing to take away from this. ]

Video | Private

[nauticalnightmare]

[He is actually just facepalming at her now. Shibusen needs a class on how to pinpoint a sexual predator.]

A course I'm fuckin' certain, just look at wwhat eweryone else has to say! It's fuckin' obwious to anyone wwho's not naiwe as shit like you are. He's playin' at your innocence an' you're fallin' right into his trap like a cripple in a spider's wweb.

An' that's a matter a opinion about your partner.

Video | Private

[shadow_star]

[ She knows about sexual predators! Kinda. It's just... they don't exist in her world view. Barney was a perfectly nice person, and perfectly nice people don't solicit for sex. On a public network. Yeah. ]

Well... yes, they do seem to be a little... confused about his intentions...

[ Actually it was torn between confusion and revulsion or amusement. ]

Oh - I-I suppose it is. [ But her Meister could be really sweet y'know! Just... rarely. Like. ]

[Video // Private] DYING

[tallerbrooklyndevil]

[Tsubaki, Liz loves you like a sister, so she's doing this for your own good.]

Uh, Tsubaki, best idea is to turn him down. It was a hilariously bad attempt at a pickup, but he was still trying to...uh..."proposition you". [Gonna use a Kid-ism because she doesn't want to destroy your mind.]

[Video // Private] XD!!

[shadow_star]

Propositi- [ And both hands clap over her mouth. It's pretty much what Hanabi and the other boy were saying. ]

B-but this is a public network...! [ Why Liz, Why~! ]

[Video // Private]

[tallerbrooklyndevil]

Yeah, well, there's a lot of weirdos out there. Trust me.

[Former street girl, remember?]

At least he didn't do anything too weird, right?

[Video // Private]

[shadow_star]

[ Yeeeeah. She grimaces slightly. ]

No, not at all, he's been perfectly nice. If...strange. But... I'm to see him later. I can apologize for the misunderstanding then.

[Video // Private]

[tallerbrooklyndevil]

You want me to come with you as backup?

[She knows you can handle yourself, Tsubaki, but...well...she worries sometimes.]

Video | Of the Playboy variety I do hope

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Well, there's no real rush. Just the sooner the better, you know? I haven't met a lot of people here. Some of them seem to think that I'm a terrible person, for no clear reason.

Video | But those heels are hard to run in!~

[shadow_star]

[ Awww, he's just lonely. yyyyyeaaaaaaaaah. ]

O-oh -I'm sure that's not it at all. I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.

[ Because Barney is such a nice guy! And speaking of misunderstandings... eheh. ]

Um... [ Well despite the cautionary words from her friends, she can't just sniff and dismiss poor Barney now. That would be rude. And she's just too trusting to think he'd be lying or something, gosh! ]

I -- suppose I could stop by tonight then. Oh - but where are you staying?

[ She's ...just going to take Liz up on her offer for back up. For support in case they're right about Barney meaning something totally different from what Tsubaki meant. ]

Video

[legend_waitforit_dary]

Casualty Communal, 5A.

I look forward to meeting you in person.

Video -> Action!~

[shadow_star]

Casualty Communal. All right then. [ And a soft laugh. ] I feel the same way! [ Noooooooooooo... ] I'll see you soon, Barney-san.

[ Or well... she and Liz will, because when the fated hour rolls around, there will be a knock on the door by one (1) Tsubaki. And she's not alone (dun dun dun!) ]

[ooc: /drags Liz on in here :D ]